9 Irresistible Reasons to Go Complaint-Free Starting Right Now

Written by Christine Kane

Today marks the beginning of a five-week e-Seminar I’m leading. It’s called The Great Big Dreams e-Seminar. And on our opening day, each participant will commit to being complaint-free, criticism-free, whine-free, and gossip-free for the full five weeks of the course. That’s 35 days, baby!

I’m doing it too.

Many a success guru, spiritual teacher, and business coach have recommended going complaint-free for at least 21 days. That’s because, according to experts, it takes 21-days to form a new habit. And now, it’s sweeping the world in bracelet form because of a book called A Complaint-Free World.

Though I have yet to make it through a full 21-days without a complaint, I know that this time’s a winner for me. I made myself sign the contract I sent out to participants. Of course, there’s no punishment if you don’t make it. As Edwene Gaines says in her Alabama accent, “And honey, it’s okay if you get 15 days into it, and then you forget. You just correct yourself, recognize you complained, and then start over at day number one again.”

Here are 10 Irresistible Reasons to Go Complaint-Free Starting Today:

1 – When you’re complaint-free, you learn to find solutions rather than staying mucked in the problem.

If you don’t offer yourself the option of complaining, then you might start training your brain to actually find solutions and get ideas. As Maya Angelou says, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.”

2 – When you’re complaint-free, you shrink your ego.

Complaining builds your ego. It makes your ego stronger because it makes someone or something else wrong. And it makes you right. You become inflated and puffed up. Well, actually you don’t, but your ego does. Ceasing the complaining/criticizing/gossiping habit tells your ego that you are in charge, and that you want to create new habits.

3 – When you’re complaint free for 21-Days, you’ve started a new habit and created a new you.

4 – When you’re complaint-free, it’s a conversation starter.

Imaginary scenario: Someone rushes into your office to gossip or whine. You get to simply smile and say, “Gosh, you know, I’d love to join in, but I’m in the middle of a Complaint-free Contract. Would you like to look at it?” And the person says, “Huh? What’s that?” Then you get to propel the conversation in a different direction.

5 – When you’re complaint-free, it’s a conversation deepener.

That same person who rushes into your office will listen for a while and then say, “Wow, that’s a really great idea. I always notice how easy it is to complain, and I want to be more self-responsible…” You’ll then share a deeper connection when you each admit that you want to live more happy and focused lives.

6 – When you’re complaint-free, it becomes viral.

You start attracting more positive people to you. The negative people will walk away and just think you’re a complete moron. But then, you’ll start noticing positive curious people coming into your life because you are so much fun to be around.

7 – When you’re complaint-free, you banish lazy thinking.

Think about it – you can’t get much lazier than complaining and gossiping. It’s the same well-worn neural pathway you’ve trudged down day after day, along with 85% of the population. When you’re complaint-free, you find other things on which to focus. With alertness and alacrity, you find new ways of seeing things. (And you get to use words like “alacrity.”)

8 – When you’re complaint-free, you create happiness.

9 – When you’re complaint free with a group, you get to soar on the updraft of the great group energy.

When groups work together – even only on the level of intention – magic happens. It’s why people love Mastermind groups. It’s why I invite people to join in on the retreat prayer lists. You allow effortlessness when you link up with a group of like-minded people. Join us today and create a cool updraft and all kinds of good things happen.

Who’s in?

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{101 comments ... read them below or add one}

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{101 comments ... read them below or add one}

Vince October 30, 2007 at 8:59 pm

Oh! Is “this is going to be tough” a complaint??

Scratch that!

Please count me in.


Vince October 30, 2007 at 9:23 pm

I’m in!

The live CD is great! Refreshing sounds!


NancyCz October 30, 2007 at 10:05 pm

I’m in! And I’m going to try and bring one of my bargaining teams with me.


ChickiePam October 30, 2007 at 10:48 pm

Count me in, although I’ll have to start tomorrow! hee hee Tonight the power was out in our whole area, and I sat in the kitchen floor trying to change the wick in the kerosene heater…by lamp light! I actually didn’t complain too much because I like the challenge, but I did snip at my daughter a couple of times while we searched for a few thing. We had to find my glasses, the heater and the kerosene FIRST! and those were bigger challenges than changing the wick. So now it’s outside burning away because I can’t stand the smell of the first burn of the season. And so now I’m ready for the NEXT
time the power goes out!

I loved both Music and Lyrics and 50 First Dates. But then I think that romantic comedies are my favorite genre.

Now for the challenge!


liz williams October 31, 2007 at 1:27 am

Hi Christine – Could I have a contract too, please? Went to my pilates lesson today and my teacher pulled out a new (to me) piece of equipment called the spine corrector. That’s what it does alright – yowser! She: “How is that stretch?” Me: “It’s really…uh…ouch!….effective.” She kept asking and I had to dig deep, deep, deep to not whine. It was more work than the workout! At the moment, it seems complaining is a huge part of what I do. Not that I’m complaining about that. Of course not.


Katherine/ME October 31, 2007 at 9:27 am

i have enjoyed reading all these responses…so opposite of complaining! uplifting to see so many people choosing a higher way of being and how it promotes laughter when we make a mistake and have to start over again. being able to laugh at ourselves is such a very good thing.
this whole process is great.


barb October 31, 2007 at 10:09 am

ditto Katherine/me. a great way to get a smile going. really makes me monitor my mouth. barb b


Ria October 31, 2007 at 12:48 pm

Oh this is proving so challenging ! It really shows how many times a day we deal with these feelings. I am doing ok, despite missing a plane due to traffic gridlock after an accident. My husband was astonished by my “its obviously not meant to be ” attitude ! I’d really appreciate a copy of the contract too, to try and stay on the right track. Thank you.


Elaine October 31, 2007 at 1:14 pm

Wow! This is much tougher than I thought!! Especially on the first day back at work!! It’s scarey just how many thoughts can go through your head like this!!

Christine – I love the bracelet idea as it provides a kinesthetic reminder – Where did you get the ‘Complaint-Free World’ bracelet from… or will any old bracelet do?

Perhaps you could sell them online? :-)


Mary-Sue November 6, 2007 at 1:20 am

Hi Christine,
This is such a wonderful idea! I found you from 37 Days and “joined” you 4 days ago in my head. Longest I’ve gone so far is 5 hours. What a blissful 5 they were! But I’m keen to try it more seriously and think coming out of lurking might help. Is it too late? You can let me know. Thanks so much! Very inspiring!


Mike Wagner November 6, 2007 at 11:45 am

I can always use some ‘better reality” – count me in.

I’m reading Brands biography of Ben Franklin at present and this reminds me of one of his self-improvement projects.

I’ll be passing this on to my clients.

Keep creating…worthy dreams,


Andrea Worthington November 6, 2007 at 12:12 pm

Inspirational. Where can I find a contract, please? The Sport of extreme nice….I try to practice that and didn’t even know it was an extreme sport…I just called myself the goddess of small things.


Laura November 6, 2007 at 12:34 pm

I’m in, too…a little late, but that doesn’t matter in something like this! A super idea which goes along well with my recent efforts to distance myself from “toxic people”!!
Love your blog and the cd of you that I have.


Canadian fan November 6, 2007 at 12:38 pm

Could I please have a copy of the contract too?


Linda November 6, 2007 at 12:58 pm

I am willing to do it too. By the way, since it is now November-already!-I hope you will post your list of possible words to use for the New Year. It is such a much better way of making a New Year’s Resolution.


barbie November 6, 2007 at 1:14 pm

I am so in!!! I seem to be in a “negative” zone these days and this sounds like the perfect vehicle to transport myself away from there! It’s funny how the world works! Just recently, Maya Angelou’s quote came across my desk and bowled me over!!! I immediately posted it at my work desk to use as a daily mantra! I love your singing and blog voices! It’s all good!Christine, this Canadian fan would also like a contract too, please!!!


Cheryl November 6, 2007 at 1:19 pm

Hi! Christine,
I’ve been receiving your Newsletter, and this is my first time reading your blog. I’d love to be “Complaint Free”! I’ve been using “The Secret” and its helped me so much, but complaint free would be awesome. Could I have a contract please?
P.S. Have you ever given a retreat or a concert in SoCal? I live in Santa Barbara County, and would really love both of the above. Thanks!


eva navrot November 6, 2007 at 2:15 pm

Hi Christine, so cool to be a part of this, i’ld tell you why but it might sound like a complaint, could i get a contract??? Do you ever come and do work in Canada?

Thanks from Eva in Beautiful British Columbia


Mary November 6, 2007 at 2:32 pm

Hi Christine!

This is a great idea. George turned me onto your music. He listens to every concernt you give at Old Towne School in Chi Town. I’m in FL right now centering myself. So there couldn’t be a better time to have read this on your blog. Today is day one for me.

I would love a copy of the contract. I am going to encourage all 18 of my staff members to do this as well!

Thanks for sharing your gift of song with all of us!


Suzanne Peterson November 6, 2007 at 2:51 pm

Wow! I’m in! You have no idea how much I needed your message – and I didn’t even know it! I’ve notified everyone at work that I’m no longer a complainer, whiner, or gossiper and when they quit laughing at me, they logged on and read your blog! So thanks so much for such a great idea!


Megan November 6, 2007 at 4:54 pm

Nice post. I am going to give this a try.I have already told my family and one of my best friends.I am already feeling better about the world…This is going to be a challenge, but I am up for it!
Thanks for suggesting this.


Brenda November 6, 2007 at 5:49 pm

I’m in! Where do I sign?


Annie November 6, 2007 at 7:57 pm

I took the “complaint-free” challenge during a Prosperity Course I did at Center for Creative Living which was based around Edwene Gaines’ book, the Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity”…. even though i didn’t make it through 21 days (although I wore the bracelet for a month), I gained AMAZING clarity and insight into the power of my own thoughts, and I felt so clean and good during that time!

Count me in to your new challenge, and thanks for putting it out there!

Blessings, Anne Lowry


Amanda Rawls November 6, 2007 at 8:37 pm

BOY AM I IN! Your timing could not be better, being in the mortgage business its almost infectious..boy do i need this right now! GREAT JOB…..I am emailing my friends


Laura Brown November 7, 2007 at 1:17 am

I’m in.


Caren November 8, 2007 at 1:12 pm

I didn’t see it linked, here… but there’s a beautiful reminder folks can add to their own blogs, or print out and hang up, etc. from Patti Digh’s revelation that Every Day is Day One.

You can find it here, and you can click on Rick’s name in his comment to get the smaller version, or you can e-mail him for the html code.

OK – hope I got that in OK!


Catherine November 8, 2007 at 1:15 pm

In, In, In, I’m soooooooooo in! I need this like there’s no tomorrow! Last night I just wasted an hour complaining on my blog about my MIL. A whole hour, when I could have been doing something more productive like working on my knitting! A friend of mine sent me this link this morning and told me to just read it. Now mind you, her precious heart listened to me whine for almost 2 hours about my MIL. After reading this post, I realized what I need to do. I already knew complaining didn’t solve anything, but it felt good yesterday. What I didn’t realize is I was falling into the trap, becoming a toxic friend and wasn’t finding a solution to the issue. Yeah…I don’t want that. Thank you so much to my friend and to you for this!


Kloudiia November 10, 2007 at 2:31 am

Hey Christine

I am fully thumbs-up of this campaign and had seen the positive effects of it when I ran it on myself early this year and I called it – “7 Days of Gratitude”. I blogged about how I felt each day and though I must say it was quite hard in the beginning, but it gets easier for me to catch myself complaining and instantly change my thoughts to find solutions or to be grateful for something instead.

Have fun in this campaign Christine. You’re doing something very meaningful here! Cheers! XXOO


ann November 10, 2007 at 1:31 pm

i’m in, it’s easier to do than you think …. when you don’t think with your huge ego


Sunrise Sister November 15, 2007 at 9:55 pm

I’m waaaaayyyyy late but so in…what do I have to do now?


becca November 16, 2007 at 2:31 pm

So I’ve been doing this exercise for two weeks now and W-O-W. More than anything, this has helped me get a handle on learning to hear what I’m saying. I’ve always been a talker–I love conversation like I love chocolate!–but by being so engrossed with it, I find that I sometimes talk unconsciously (i.e. I’m not really listening to the other person, or I’m just speaking on auto-pilot).

I’m also learning that to change a habit, beating myself up about it isn’t a good idea. In anything new I try, if I don’t get it automatically, I get really frustrated and negative. This little exercise is helping me improve my ability to change and react to hurdles, as well.

Lastly, just want to thank you because the more I learn to NOT focus on the negative (via retelling the story/complaint to people over and over), the negative situation’s effect is totally minimized. It’s an easy way to just let-it-go and choose to be happy (by focusing on happy things). Not complaining to others makes me dig a little deeper when talking with them: I get to find happy stories, interesting stories, or become more interested in them (go figure! :D) to make a conversation worth their while… it’s a fun challenge for me.

Have a Happy Friday,


Sandra November 16, 2007 at 3:41 pm

ditto to sunrise sister!


dawn November 19, 2007 at 4:45 pm

Hey! This sounds completely awesome & definitely something I need to do!!!! What a GREAT way to start the holiday seasons!!!! :-D So, how do I get a contract???? Will definitely turn my boyfriend onto this, too! Thanks for the posts….


Rose April 11, 2009 at 11:03 am

Better late than never; I’m in.


Lori Havrilla June 29, 2009 at 12:51 pm

I just finished reading Edwene Gaines book “The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity.” I thought that the tithing principle would be my big stumbling block, but NO….it’s the complaining fast. Wow! I’ve yet to get through a whole day.

I really like reason #9. I hope to catch and spread this virus. How did you do on your 35-day attempt?



michelle fletcher January 3, 2011 at 5:12 am

i love it i want to get involved and join the group
what is the next step?


Kim March 16, 2011 at 11:56 am

Glad to find this post! We are doing a positivity month in our department. This is a great way to kick that off! Any chance you can email the contract? It would be great.
Thanks so much for the inspiration.


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