No matter how much you love your work or how much you hate it, you gotta admit that everyone needs time off.
In fact, most of the women who come to my retreats say that they simply need rest.  It’s remarkable to observe that their vision boards are filled not with pictures of expensive jewelry and fast cars – but with images of relaxation, prayer, and intentional eating.

The reality of our “days off,” however, is often much different from our vision board pictures, isn’t it?

Trips to Target, errands to the grocery store, hardcore yard work – all splattered over with constant checks on our email to see if there’s anything good we need to react to out there.

If this is you, don’t blame yourself.  We’ve all done it.

And it’s not because something’s wrong with us. It’s not because we’re the only people in the world who can’t seem to clear everything off of our to-do lists. It’s not because we’re unfocused and irresponsible like our 10th grade math teacher told us. (Or was that just me?)

More likely, the reason we don’t give ourselves the restorative time off that we require is because we’ve never created clear definitions about what exactly you’re supposed to do on a day off!

If you’re not clear about your time off – then it’s way too easy to just jump from one thing to the next and never actually trust yourself to relax.

Think about it…

If all of your other activities bleed over into each other, then of course you might be a little freaked out that you’ll begin to relax and then never get motivated again! What’s to keep a nap from bleeding over into everything else? After all, every other activity you do seems to have no boundaries!

You can be clear about one thing though.

No matter if you’re self-employed, a harried wife and mom, a single person looking for a new job, you need to regenerate.  Rest is where the real growth and expansion take place.

So, here’s how to maximize your days off and see the results of deep rest and fun…

1 – Schedule your time off

This is imperative.  If it’s not on your schedule, it’s too easy to forego your rest time.

Of course, not everyone can take a full day, let alone a whole weekend.  But a few hours of genuine relaxation time off for fun is better than a weekend spent with your attention splattered all over the place, worried about the things you’re not doing.  Schedule your time. You’re worth it.

2 – Make an Allowed-to-Do list

What do you do on your day off?  Do you even know what feels good to you? Is it playtime with the kids? Is it a long bath and trashy romance novels?  Is it hiking in the woods?  Or just a good no-interruptions nap with the cats?

Make a list of general things to do on days off or with hours off.  Some people actually like to do some cleaning on their days off.  I, for one, find that I ease better into my time off if I clean up a little. It gives the left-brain time for one last ramble as I move into resting time.

3 – Make a not-allowed-to-do list

The title of this list is “Here’s a list of what I’m not allowed to do during my scheduled time off…”  This is the most important list of all.

Only you can define what activities you use to distract yourself into low-grade anxiety even on days off. Some suggestions would be:

Email
Checking investments, stats or any other analytical numbers that tell you how you’re doing
Phone calls to clients
Phone calls period
Turning on the computer
Yard work
Planning next week
Filing
Going into your office at all
Laundry

4 – Make a “Fun Things I Love List”

I know. I know. These lists are getting ridiculous.

But that’s because adults are ridiculous too! They forget what they love to do!  And even if they do know what they love to do, they can let years slip by without ever doing it!

Creating a list will tune you in. “Ah, yes. This is something I really do love doing.” And you’ll be more aware of the opportunities to actually do this thing!

I, for one, love fast boats.  I don’t want to own one. But I make sure that I get to take a few rides each year.  For instance, when we go to the beach, (time off) I make it a point to find people I can hire to take us out for a few hours during sunset – just so I can have that wonderful delightful experience that fills my heart.

It is tempting to opt for the usual stuff that we are all supposed to love: manicures, pedicures, massages, spas, etc. These are all nice. But take some time to think about what are some of your unique delights?  This list will remind you that you haven’t done “fun thing X” in about three years.

Examples of Things that Might Be Fun:

Kayaking
Ping pong
Playing dodge-ball with your kids or your nieces
Meditating
Yoga
Having a friend over for Thai food carry out
Watching romantic comedies
Rollerskating
Bowling
Hiking
Knitting
Reading stacks of magazines
Riding on fast boats

5 – Don’t be rigid

If it is truly challenging for you to give yourself downtime – as it is for many people – then start small.  Schedule a few hours on Saturday afternoon and evening.  Or if you really want to spend the time re-organizing your closets, then let that be your downtime.  I recommend that you call it a Sniggly Day and really bathe in the idea of doing everything at your own pace.  Still, I recommend scheduling defined start and end times.

6 – Tweak as you go

The only way to know how you can best create regenerative downtime is to start doing it.  You learn how to do anything by experiencing it, not by thinking about it.

If you have been addicted to crazy to-do lists and busy-ness then your first downtime days might launch you into all out panic attacks.  This is okay. This is why you only schedule a few hours at first.  Don’t try to do it perfectly. See what delights you and what turns out to be a not-so-much delight.

The important thing is that you honor yourself enough to have total veg-out resting moodling delighting fantasizing creative regenerative time off.

I live on the most beautiful street in the world.

Well, at least I think I do.

I live on a river. There are six other houses along this river. The street feels like Hobbiton.

About a month ago, the owner of one of these houses decided to sell. He has been renting the house and hasn’t lived here for years. The renters come and go, and it can be challenging for us resident Hobbits. (This is a complaint-free way of avoiding the expression “riff-raff.”)

So, I decided to buy that house. After all, it’d be a great investment, and it’s a beautiful property. Plus, I’d get to control the riff-raff!

I began the campaign in my head. I spent lots of time and energy making plans for re-doing the house. I figured out the up-front costs. I wondered if I could create a little writer’s retreat and rent it out to artists. And I thought of all the changes I’d make to it. Pretty soon, Dwell Magazine was coming to photograph my new house. It was fabulous!

In the meantime, I have maybe a few other things on my plate…

I’m writing songs for a new CD, writing blogs (like this one), leading retreats for women, doing keynote presentations and creativity trainings, touring and performing (I have a show tonight!), and facilitating an online e-Seminar. I’ve also been talking with a publisher who wants me to write a book. And we won’t even go into the constant learning curve of on-line marketing information and keeping up with that side of my business.

And yet, I began fantasizing about getting this house and fixing it up and creating a perfect Dwell house to rent out to perfect people…

My brother called me after I left him a message about this house. He owns a rental property and I had called him to ask him his thoughts.

He sighed.

Then he said, “You know what Christine? It’s fine if you want to do this. But it’s not just about ‘having an investment property.’ It’s a business. It’d be a whole different business for you. One more thing to do.”

And I got it. The swirly-twirly Christine that likes to hallucinate about all this extra time she seems to have landed hard on the ground, still dizzy from her fantasy. I took a deep breath and let go of the idea of taking on one more thing. I’ve gone through this process enough now that I didn’t have a huge let down. I just remembered who I am and got back on track.

In fact, when I let go of the idea, a vast expanse of new space was created in my mind because I was no longer thinking about the house all the time.

Does this happen to you?

Do you sometimes get a little dizzy from all the possible paths that are out there for the taking?

Well, then, here are some questions to consider before you add one more thing to your schedule, your life, or your load:

1 – What is my intention right now?

Setting an intention can be as simple as choosing a word for the year, and as complex as healing a long-term illness. What is your direction right now? If you don’t know, then take some time to get clear. You’re more likely to keep adding excess stuff to your life and your schedule because you haven’t established any priorities. If you do know, then ask yourself if this new thing is in alignment with your intention – or if it’s just a distraction. Having a strong intention often means saying no to lots of other options.

2 – What do I value?

This might seem like an easy question, but take a little time with it. Get clear about your true values.

Personally, I value time. Not only do I like having free time, but I need to have free time. Writing a song or a blog (or a keynote speech) takes a lot of moodling time for me. I need to allow for that. An investment property would steal more of my moodle time than I can imagine. (Especially since I don’t have a clue about investment properties!) I’ve been learning about stock market investing for over a year now, and that has already taken lots of study time. (And I love it!) So, I can easily continue on that course – and I’m getting better and better at it.

3 – Why do I want to do/have/add this new thing?

In this situation, I wanted to have this property because I wanted control. I could feel my inner Gollum grasping and clutching to keep control over my precious street. The truth is this: I was reacting to an old limiting thought that says, “The universe is not to be trusted! I have to fix everything!”

I realized that it was not my place to to control the rental situation. I chose to use my creative thinking to know that only wonderful people live on this street. (And to stop using the phrase “riff-raff!”) And if some not-so-wonderful people moved in, then I could learn from that, too. The externals of my world do not dictate my ability to be happy. I know this. Sometimes I forget it, that’s all.

When we’re trying to justify cramming one more thing into our schedules or lives, our motivations are not always about our highest good. Perhaps we want to be liked. Maybe we want to be cool. Maybe we think that this is the only opportunity we’ll ever get. Lots of times (most of the time!) our thinking is limited.

4 – Am I acting out of fear or love?

I’ve always loved this question. It says it so clearly. And deep down, we almost always know the answer. We just don’t always want to admit it. In this case, I was acting out of fear.

——————–

So, how about you? What do you need to say no to?

At a recent party, I was talking with a friend when a guy stepped up to chat with her. An intense conversation about software followed. I interrupted to ask him, “What do you do?”

He glanced at me and said, with no small hint of pride, “I’m a Productivity Evangelist.”

I’ll admit it. I almost laughed. I had to bite my lip so as not to spit out my wine.

In spite of the New Media use of the word “Evangelist” to describe anyone who promotes anything, it’s still a word I associate with, well, evangelists. I could see him clad in white robe and sandals marching along city sidewalks carrying a sign painted with the words, “Get More Done.”

So, here’s something I want you to know about me:

I’m not a Productivity Evangelist.

In fact, I’d like you to think about your To-Do List in a whole new light. Not just as a chronicle of crap to get done.

Think of your To-Do List, instead, as a training ground.

Since many of us have become codependents of drug addicted To-Do lists, then this idea may sound a little unproductive. But hear me out.

Your To-Do List can serve two purposes. The first purpose is to guide your actions. The second purpose also happens to be step #2 in the 12-Steps to a Recovered To-Do List. (Step 1 was in the last post.)

To-Do List Recovery Step #2: Make your list a training ground for success

Many of us literally spend our days failing as we try to keep up with an external idea of “productivity.” Even when we do complete every item on our list, we rarely feel satisfied. There’s always more to do.

When your To-Do List becomes a place where you train yourself how to win, you build momentum, rather than always trying to keep up. You train yourself to succeed by asking yourself what’s important to you. You train yourself to succeed by asking less of yourself and actually getting items done. You train your brain to get used to the feeling of accomplishment, rather than the habitual feeling of never enough. Amazingly, you’ll discover that you’re actually energized. You’ll even generate a feeling of self-trust, perhaps for the first time.

To-Do List Recovery Step #3: Let your intentions guide your To-Do List

An intention is not the same thing as a To-Do. An intention guides your To-Do’s. Intention is the big picture. (Like, the word you chose for this year.)

When you create a To-Do list, the first thing to remember is your intention. This will help you recognize the items that contribute to that intention, and those that don’t.

To-Do List Recovery Step #4: Start a Sunday evening ritual

Now, this is not a “Light candles and chant the Moolah-Mantra” ritual. This is just 10 minutes to ask yourself one question:

What are my three top priorities this week?

Limit it to three. More than three just creates Attention Splatter.

To-Do List Recovery Step #5: Make a Brain-Drain List

Some of us have Chronologic Depth Perception Illness, or CDPI. (Yes, I made this up.) CDPI means that you think of something to do, and even if it doesn’t need to be dealt with until, say, Christmas of 2010, it remains at the forefront of your brain, along with all of your other To-Do’s. There it is, needing to be done. Now. So, you put it on your To-Do list because you don’t trust that you’ll get it done unless it occupies your mind.

Enter the Brain-Drain List. A Brain-Drain List is where you simply write down every To-Do that comes to mind. From the big stuff (Write an eBook) to the little stuff (get my oil changed). A brain drain list is a place where you can put every last To-Do so you can empty your brain. You will then be able to think more clearly about your priorities.

This brings me to the Three P’s of To-Do List Creation:

To-Do List Recovery Step #6: Prioritize

This is so simple that it’s easy to forget. What is your first priority? What is most important on your list? (Important isn’t always “urgent.”) Ask yourself how important each item is to you. Let go of the ones that don’t matter (i.e., most of them).

To-Do List Recovery Step #7: Parameterize

Parameters put borders around any item that’s vague. (i.e., a writing project, an organizing project, any creative endeavor.) Assign start times and end times. Or set a goal of how much (i.e., 3 pages, 2 drawers, one verse). This way you’ll know when you’re done for the day. Otherwise, you’ll convince yourself that you haven’t done anything.

To-Do List Recovery Step #8: Pay-off

The best question to ask yourself about each To-Do Item is this: If this were the only thing I accomplished today, would I be happy with that? What is the pay-off if I do this?

To-Do List Recovery Step #9: Busyness is laziness

The Benzedrine To-Do List looks quite impressive to its creator. It lends itself to an inflated sense of self-importance. “Look at all I have to do!” This is actually lazy thinking. It covers up the fact that you don’t have the presence to sit still and define the most important (not necessarily the most urgent) things that you want to do.

To-Do List Recovery Step #10: Task it Down

The Electric Kool-Aid Acid To-Do List is a fine list of dreams to have. But the part of you that is not hallucinating needs to know how to start. It needs to break those big jobs into small do-able tasks. This is another great way for your To-Do List to become a training ground. You learn how to take a dream and make it into reality. So, if you want to sell your home, the first thing on the To-Do List would be: “Call three Realtors.” Or, “Clean out the crap in the basement for one hour.”

To-Do List Recovery Step #11: Honor your style

Some people can focus on a task and get it done in 3 hours of straight work. Some need more time to putter before they can start a project. Some people need deadlines to propel them into getting something done. Everyone is different. Honoring your style is important. Not everyone can be a Productivity Evangelist. I, for one, am a big proponent of moodling and taking long quiet walks before any act of focused creativity. Everyone has different styles.

To-Do List Recovery Step #12: Know what matters to you

This post was supposed to be up yesterday.

Know why it wasn’t?

Because instead of writing, I spent the day watching the nest by my front door to see if the baby wrens were going to fly away.

I blew off my To-Do list to watch them. I felt a little guilty and overwhelmed at the end of the day. But in the moment, I was completely present and absorbed. (They flew. It was profound.) This kind of thing matters to me more than New Media and yes, more than Productivity Evangelists.

Knowing what matters to you will guide you on those days when Life Happens. Maybe baby birds are taking flight. Maybe your daughter has a cold. Maybe your best friend is having a hard time and you take her to dinner. And maybe your inner Productivity Evangelist is holding up signs that say, “You’re disappointing us all!”

That’s okay. He’s probably on drugs too.

I was originally going to call this post “Success Tips for Artists.” However, artists and the self-employed have much in common. So, these tips are the practical things I’ve learned over 14 years of working for myself and being an artist.

1 – Provide value

The core of success will always be about providing value. Deciding whether or not you provide value in the world is up to you. It might be a giant act of self-esteem to declare that you provide value, especially if you’re an artist. The “Who do you think you are?” voices can creep in at the strangest times. Providing value doesn’t mean that you don’t occasionally sit up at night and wonder if you’re a fraud. Providing value doesn’t mean that you walk around feeling holy and dignified in every situation. Let’s face it – some nights you just wish the audience had shown up. Feeling like this on occasion doesn’t mean that you don’t provide value. It just means that you’re human and still working on yourself.

So, here’s what you do. Wait til you’re in a peaceful frame of mind. Then, get clear on how you provide value, or how you would like to better serve the world. Not just in your paid work, but also in your personal strengths and in your soul. Then, keep coming back to this. Keep revisiting this. It will guide you.

2 – Define “Success”

What does “making it” mean? More importantly, what does it mean to you? Have you ever clarified this?

Too often, artists and self-employed people drive themselves into the ground because of some undefined idea of success. “Gigs.” “Sales.” “Customers.” “Clients.” None of these terms are clearly defined. If you just want “gigs” or “speaking engagements,” then you can fill an entire year with them. Same with clients, customers and everything else. Without definition, you can burn out because you keep taking on more. It’s easy to forget you have boundaries if you’ve never defined them. You’ll keep chasing some nebulous idea of what success looks like.

The best way to begin is to quantify and to describe. How many gigs per month? What kind? How many customers? What are they like? How many sales? Keep them do-able enough so that you can celebrate your small victories along the way to bigger goals.

3 – Question Assumptions

The idea of success comes fully equipped with decades of assumptions about your industry. None of them are the truth. “You have to know people in the music business to make it.” (Not.) “You have to get into a gallery in Soho if you want to be a great artist.” (Not.) All of it is up for questioning these days. Stop assuming that you know how it has to happen. Stop assuming anything. When someone says, “Yea well…” about your idea, question their assumption. When you think you know how it’s gotta look, question that belief. Open up to new ideas for how to do it best for you. If you’re wondering if there’s a better way to make it work – then there just might be. Find it.

4- Separate yourself from your business

There are many ways to separate yourself from your business. Some of them are psychological. Some are environmental. Some are financial. Let’s start with the financial stuff.

Many self-employed people have one bank account and just put all the money in that one place. It’s their money. It’s the business’s money. It all sits together in one account.

Do yourself a favor. Start paying yourself a salary. Create a separate bank account for your business. Even if your business is new and you only have $500 for that account and your salary is $50/month. Even if you’re not incorporated. Get into the mindset of the business owner. Separating yourself from your business is also a great step to help you stop taking everything personally.

5 – Give yourself promotions and raises

This is challenging, but necessary. How you promote yourself is up to you. For some, it might mean raising their rates. For some it might mean saying no to a certain kind of venue while pursuing the next. For some it means paying yourself a higher salary. If you don’t regularly let yourself know that you matter enough to be promoted, then no one else will. Yes, it’s scary when you start quoting a new higher rate to first time callers, but you’ll get better at it and then it won’t be a big deal. (Resist the temptation to explain yourself! Just tell them the new rate, and let them choose whether or not to hire you!)

6 – Start a Roth IRA

J.D. at Get Rich Slowly wrote a terrific in-depth article about Roth IRA’s. He also wrote one about how to start a Roth IRA. The advantage of a Roth IRA is that you fund it with after-tax money. Then when you’re 65 and you get that money, you won’t be taxed on it then.

Set up automatic payments from your bank account into the Roth IRA account over the full year. That way, you don’t even have to think about it. Get into the habit of putting this money away. I wish now that I had started doing this earlier than I did!

7 – Incorporate your business

This is a great way to separate yourself from your business. It’s a way of making your business an entity, and protecting yourself personally. It will also prevent you from getting hit with self-employment tax. I’ve been incorporated for four years. It was a little overwhelming to go through the process of incorporating. Now, I’m glad I did it. I know that many people prefer LLC’s. You can research to find which is best for you.

8 – Create multiple streams of income

I used to think that if all of my income didn’t come from my songs and my shows, then I wasn’t a real artist. I meet lots of artists who still have this antiquated mindset. I’m much happier (and wealthier) now that I’ve let that idea go. And I get to do more interesting things, and spend less time on the road. Creating multiple streams of income takes time – but in the long run, the patience and willingness pays off.

For instance, here are a few of the ways I make money: CD and t-shirt sales on this website. iTunes song sales. Product sales at shows. CD sales in stores and on amazon.com. Performances. Teaching. Creativity training for companies and the government. Donations from blog readers. Facilitating women’s retreats. Song royalties. Affiliate programs on my website. Investments. The amount of money each thing generates varies greatly. But I am less attached to my income source being me in a spotlight on a stage. Life is more fun now, too.

What other ways can you generate income? Can you try one new thing in 2008?

9 – Revisit your plans/desires every four months

Set aside regular times for thinking about your career. Spend the time moodling. Spend the time writing. Too many artists think of themselves as stuck. Recently, I was with some people who were complaining about burn-out and frustration with their entertainment careers – and they ended up shrugging and saying, “Oh well. There’s nothing else I’m good at. So I have to keep doing this.” I disagree. No one has to be stuck. There are lots of options for expansion these days. It’s not always easy to imagine, but there are options. Begin by getting in the habit of spending a day asking the question, “How could I approach this career that is sustainable for me? What options are out there? What would I just love to try?” Revisit your career every quarter. Keep checking in with yourself about it. This is honoring yourself.

10 – Create an Ideal Client Profile

My brother is a landscape architect. He has recently returned to running his own business after spending time away. We talked about how to attract clients that are perfect for him. Knowing what I know about the power of intent, I told him to create an “Ideal Client Profile.” Describe the ideal client in full detail – from how much they pay you to their mindset to the kind of work they want from you to the fact that they pay you on time and like you a lot as a person. (And that they dislike ornamental cabbage every bit as much as you do.)

I’ve done this. It works. Many years ago, a mentor advised me to create an Ideal Performance Profile. At the time, I was performing in clubs and coffeehouses – and I was tired of the smell of stale beer, and the attitudes of some of the club owners. So, my mentor guided me to use my imagination to describe the perfect performance situations. I’ve also created Ideal Employee Profiles for my office. Try it. You’ll be amazed at the new people and contracts you attract.

11 – Hire People

Make a list of the tasks you do that could be done by someone else. Then, hire people to do them. Post an ad on Craiglist. Visit DoMyStuff.com. Post an ad at a local campus for an office intern. If someone else can do it, learn how to let them. Micromanagers rarely succeed! I’ve paid people to walk my dog in the middle of the day when I was over-committed. I’ve hired Virtual Assistants for specific research tasks I needed to do. WebGuy does all my website work. AccountantMan does all my IRS stuff. And I happily pay for this stuff. Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean that’s where you should put your energy.

12 – Take vacations

It’s easy to forget vacations. There’s always so much to do when you’re self-employed. There’s always something to create when you’re an artist. For instance, I can always write a blog, answer emails, create workshop plans, fine-tune some of my teaching, write songs. It doesn’t end.

For a long long time, I didn’t take vacations. I told my husband that I travel all the time, and I just didn’t want to travel for my vacations. The only problem is that when I’m home, I can continue working for hours and hours. Even on days off, I can hear the siren call of the computer.

Here’s a little saying for you: The In-Box of Life will never empty out. You have to be the one to decide if you are going to take breaks, weekends, vacations, and evenings. If you’re on a budget, try Imperfect Camping. If you don’t have a week off, have an Adventure Day. Or go to a women’s retreat! Get used to taking regular breaks away from your computer and discovering who you are. It will make you a more successful business and a more fulfilled artist.

tags: music, career, self-employment, christine kane

“So you see, the imagination needs moodling – long, inefficient, happy idling, dawdling, and puttering. The people who are always briskly doing something may have little, sharp, staccato ideas, such as: “I see where I can make an annual cut of $3.47 in my meat budget.” But they have no slow, big ideas. And the fewer consoling, noble, shining, free, jovial, magnanimous ideas that come, the more nervously and desperately they rush and run from office to office and up and downstairs, thinking by action at last to make life have some warmth and meaning.” -Brenda Ueland, If You Want to Write

One of the reasons so many of us have Attention Splatter is because we require a dose of unfocused attention in order to function, and especially in order to create. This dreamy drifty unfocused time is called “moodling.” If you are creative, then you need to moodle. (And “creative” is not limited to professional artists. Teachers, parents, social workers, entrepreneurs – these are creative callings.)

Please do not for a minute think that Moodling is the same as Attention Splatter. In fact, I believe that creative types become more prone to Attention Splatter when they haven’t allowed for enough Moodling in their days. Moodling is how their minds process all that they take in each day. It is where their new ideas are born.

When I teach songwriting to beginning students, they look at me quizzically when I talk about scheduling daily small chunks of time to write songs. They want to know, “What do you actually do during that ‘writing’ time?” The myth is the media image of the songwriter or writer having an outline, a perfect title, or a perfect beginning all planned. And then this same puritanical writer uses the assigned hour merely to fill in the blanks – as if the song or the chapter or the poem were a crossword puzzle. This is a daunting image. It’s an image that scares most people away from writing or songwriting or creating anything.

So, I answer their question with one word…

“Moodle.”

Moodling is play time. It’s the dreamy place where you’re allowed to come up with anything…or nothing. If I’m writing a song, I usually spend the first half hour just playing around on my guitar. I’ll hum some lines, or I’ll teach myself a Kelly Clarkson song just for kicks. Eventually, out of that dreamy space, something concrete clunks up against my brain and says, “Pay attention to this. It’s kind of fun.” Maybe it’s a riff. Maybe it’s a melody line. Or maybe it’s some words. That’s when I grab my recorder or my notebook and get a little more focused. Then, maybe I am focused for 20 minutes or so. Then, maybe I go back to moodle-mode for a while. Eventually, I am consistently back and forth between moodling and editing, or moodling and thinking. Sometimes I’ll get up and make lunch or clean the kitchen while I’m still humming. A line will come while I’m putting a dish away, and I’ll rush back to the guitar.

This looks like Splattering. But it’s not. It’s Moodling.

I do the same thing when I write a blog. I’m a little more focused once I start writing, but when I first get an idea, I have to mull it over and let it have some moodling time. Even then, I typically write a “Shitty First Draft” (a la Anne Lamott) before I bring in the outlines and the organization. I do the same thing when I plan workshops or retreats, too.

Moodling makes things take longer. That might be why so many people are uncomfortable with the idea. But my experience is that it makes writing and creating much more rewarding and alive and deep. Not only for the reader. But also for you, the writer or creator.

Creative Mind / Corporate Mind

The reason I wrote the last three posts about Attention Splatter is because creative people are being challenged to learn how to be business people. It’s a good thing. We no longer have to bow to the almighty corporate executives to make money. We are becoming the corporate executives.

It’s similar to the world of spiritual practice. Would-be-gurus, holy people, and meditators are no longer spending their lives on mountain tops and in temples. They are now in the next office. They’re sitting by us during lunch. They are all around us. Indeed, they are us. They are learning to live among other people and shine the light in every situation, not just in the ashram.

So it is with artists. Artists and creative types are moodling during their creative time, and learning how to focus during their business time. The things that serve us in our creativity don’t always serve us in our business dealings. Attention Splatter is Moodling gone awry. It’s when we use Moodling to avoid the uncomfortable (but important) stuff we need to get done: writing the press release, calling the agent, putting some thought into our business ideas, doing the retail taxes.

So, use the principles from the posts on Attention Splatter. And make sure you get your share of Moodling time.

Note: This post is Part 3 of a multi-part series. Click here to read Part 1. Click here to read Part 2.

By now, you probably know whether or not you are prone to Attention Splatter. Here are the top ten solutions that have helped me (or are helping me) clean up my splattered attention. Keep in mind that this stuff takes persistence. I still work at it every day. And I still have days where I am splattered all over the place. However, the following practices have helped make these days less common.

1 – Lighten the load.

Consider having no more than one to three priorities for the day.

Let’s face it. There’s only so many things you can get done in a day and still enjoy the day. Get into the habit of spending five minutes each night deciding what top thing you want to get done the next day. Ask yourself, “If I only accomplish one thing tomorrow, which one thing would make me most happy to have accomplished?” (Or something less grammatically awkward.) Then, when you know that one priority, ask yourself the same thing about the next activity. Avoid insanely long to-do lists that make you short of breath before you even go to sleep. These only set you up for splatter.

This also goes for too many big goals all at once. For instance, if you’re a teacher, and you have four kids under age eight and you have the summer off, it might be too harsh to set a goal to write a novel this summer. Maybe instead, you could write the first chapter. Too many goals (or goals that are too big) are a surefire way to invite Attention Splatter.

2 – Know the task before you sit down at the computer.

This is a must for me. And I don’t always remember to do it. When I don’t, I can get lost in the millions of non-items that a computer has to offer. When I do, I actually get things done. Assign tasks. (i.e. “Clean out email folders”) Assign times. (“From 1pm to 2pm”) Stop as soon as the end time arrives. And then go lie on top of your dog and give her kisses on her nose.

3 – Create a NOT-TO-DO list.

Keep this posted near your desk. Make sure that “Worry” is one of the items.

4 – Put an end to bleedy activities.

How do you do this? You schedule them as actual activities. Instead of letting email bleed all over your day -all day every day – schedule email as an activity at a certain time each day. Instead of checking stats throughout your day every day, schedule them as a once-a-week exercise in building a better blog. Bleedy activities should be the number one item on your not-to-do list. Every activity should have a home – a space for its completion. Otherwise, you set yourself up for a full day of splatter.

5 – Use small chunks of time.

It’s easy to look up at the clock and see that you have, say, 45 minutes before an appointment and think, “Well, I don’t have time to do anything substantial. So, I guess I’ll just go on line.” This is when you do nothing but splattery activities. And it’s wildly unfulfilling. I have written so many blog posts by challenging myself to make use of the hour I have in between appointments. Learn to fit constructive things in to small chunks of time. I teach songwriting students (most of whom have jobs and other priorities) to fit 20 minutes in every day to write songs. It works.

6 – Set challenging end times.

The longer you think a task is going to take, the longer it will take. Here’s an example from my own life:

I suck at business travel. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me. Maybe it’s because I’m a Taurus. But every time I have a tour or an upcoming show, it’s just a big mess for me to get ready.

So, in an attempt to coddle my bad traveler self, I used to schedule the entire day before my departure as a “packing” day. Consequently, it always took me a full day to pack. I could get other stuff done, but I was so splattered, I never actually focused fully on packing.

So, this year, I started scheduling only an hour to pack. ONE hour. This might seem like a no-brainer to you, but it changed everything for me. Once I stopped allowing the entire day before travel to be consumed by the nebulous idea of “PACKING,” it ceased to be such a big deal. AND, I spend less time worrying and dreading and obsessing.

7 – Segment intend.

This is my favorite process in Ask and It is Given. Before you begin any activity, set an intention for that activity. Intend your desired outcome and how you want to feel during the activity. This works remarkably well. And you don’t have to get all woo-woo and fire up the incense or anything. You can just sit for a second and make the intention. It’s easy. But it’s powerful.

8 – Cut the fat.

Most of us have way too many incoming emails, group emails, magazine subscriptions, news aggregate feeds, TiVo-ed tv shows, memberships, and unread books. My theory is that humans simply weren’t meant to take all that in. It’s no wonder so many people are diagnosed with ADD. Get your life in order. Get rid of anything that doesn’t feed you. If you subscribe to it, ask yourself why. Start letting go of stuff. Doing this one thing has helped me create a home and office environment that is healthy and sacred. I am ruthless about keeping the incoming stuff to a minimum.

9 – Allow for splattering WITHIN an activity.

When I plan a workshop or write a song or work on a blog, I allow for splatter time. I call it “moodling.” Rarely do I just sit down and outline a class or a song or a blog. I allow for lots of thinking, imagining, and playing. From the outside, it might look like unproductive meandering. But it’s absolutely necessary. It’s where I find the muse. And even in left brain work, like planning my classes for the federal government, the muse has to guide me. I know that every teacher and writer is different. (I read bloggers who write about how they get an idea, then they outline it, then they write it. I am not that writer.) So, I allow for play-time. I add on about a half hour at the start of anything for moodle time. Then the creation of the thing is part moodle, part high-focus action. That’s a natural part of creativity. Delight in it.

10 – Be present in your down-time.

In other words, when you take a nap, take a nap. When you’re taking a Saturday off, really take it off. Turn off the computer. Get out of your office. Go away. I think most of us are so splattered because we’ve forgotten how to relax, have fun, rest, and stop working. Especially if you’re a blogger, you need to take time away from the computer. Self-employed people and bloggers and artists can always work. There’s always something to do. So, fully disengaging from all of it for fun is imperative. Plus, it will fill the well and allow you to return with renewed energy!

As always, your suggestions are welcome in the comments!

General Healing Ideas

If I look back on the big picture of getting over bulimia, I see it as a melding of many pathways and mindsets and prayers and people. Nothing linear about it. I can’t say what someone else’s path will look like. Mine was littered with wreckage and ruin at first. And I started cleaning it up. Then someone would come along and help me with a few of the pieces. And then the path would converge with another path and there would be velocity and lightness. Then I’d do something completely stupid or unconscious or addictive. And darkness would descend again, and I’d feel isolated and alone, picking up pieces I thought I’d already picked up. Then an unexpected breakthrough would happen. And I’d look around with a new perspective and begin again.

The six ideas below were present in a big roundabout way throughout this process. They are still present, only some of them are now at a different level or with a different consciousness, now that I no longer engage in the old behavior or mindsets.

As I mentioned in Part 1, the following ideas are not steps or how-tos. They are ideas, which point in a direction. The ideas in this post point in a very general direction. The next post will contain more specific ideas. I’ll conclude with ideas that apply to people who have moved past the initial stages of healing bulimia.

Idea #1: Intent

I’ve written about intent over and over again. Click and read the posts.

How intent applies to bulimia and compulsive or addictive eating is this: You have to want to not be bulimic anymore. You have to want to not be destructive to yourself with food anymore. You have to want to stop the perpetual hell of compulsive exercise or dieting or whatever it is you do to yourself. Even if your intent is simply, “I don’t want to live like this anymore. I can’t take the insanity. I want to love myself more than I want to diet,” that is enough. It’s a start.

My intent began (though I didn’t know it at the time) when I graduated from college, and I wrote letters to God in my journal every night when I got home from my first (and only) 9 – 5 job. I was unhappy. I wanted to expand and grow and let go of the craziness of this addiction. Again, I had no idea what I was doing at the time, or what my life would end up looking like. But ultimately, writing that nightly “prayer” made me so clear. And as Lenedra Carroll says in one of my favorite books, “Clarity is very compelling to the universe.” I don’t think there was a choice about it once I started those letters. I had to heal.

I’ve met lots of women with eating issues. I’m amazed at how few of them will actually set the intent to heal. More often than not, they have resigned themselves. Or they take medications, which never work in the long run. They seem to not want to change their lives. Mildly and dully miserable is easier than uncomfortably going through deep shifts and facing your own stuff. I’ll quote the great AA line here: If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got.

Commit to healing. Set intent. Yes, it may mean that your life falls apart. But it won’t happen in a way you can’t handle. It will happen organically. As you heal, things that no longer serve you will go away. That’s all. (For me, this happened pretty rapidly. But I was ready. And I asked for it.) The simple act of getting clear and committing oneself will open up doors and bring about opportunities that are just waiting to be had. This is the grace that comes from intent.

Idea #2: The Question of Therapy

When I was in college, my roommates caught me stealing food points. (I was burning through mine at an embarrassing pace, and I had to figure out how to keep bingeing.) They reported me (and my bulimia) to the RA. I was required to see a campus therapist or be kicked out of my dorm.

The therapist was a man. Not only did he never have an eating disorder, but I’m pretty sure he never had emotions either. He was a kind person, but not the person to help a nineteen year old through this level of shame and grief and addiction.

I stayed pretty far away from therapy after that experience. It wasn’t until I started working with a great healer (a licensed massage therapist with no degree in psychology) in Asheville, four years later, that I really got the power of wisdom versus the mental level of therapy.

The reason I don’t often recommend therapy is this: Most women with eating issues or bulimia are very smart. They know what it’s about. They know their past. They know their emotions. What they don’t know is how to stop obsessing and thinking about it all the time. This is why therapy often keeps them stuck.

What you focus on persists. If you consistently focus on your past, your parents, your old patterns, then you may be spinning your wheels. If you’re in therapy or if you choose to begin therapy, I would highly recommend coupling it with alternative healing work so that your body begins to get stronger and aids your mind in creating new and more appropriate responses and patterns.

Idea #3: Alternative Healing

I can’t stress enough how powerful alternative healing was for my recovery. It was imperative. Acupuncture remains my #1 choice, and I still go once or twice a month, even though I have very few health issues anymore.

The reason acupuncture works so well with eating disorders is because so much damage has been done to the system. Binge eating, purging, diuretics, dehydration, sugar, salt, and excess leave the body depleted and very low on energy and blood. Trying to heal bulimia without addressing this weakened system is virtually impossible. Your organs have a huge impact on your emotions and mental functions. If you have severely damaged the spleen and pancreas, for instance, then you’ll have a hard time transforming tears into awakenings. It makes it harder to set new patterns and process thoughts if the organs are in this level of stress. Acupuncture allows your body to use its own energy so that you heal yourself. It re-teaches your own body to function optimally.

The biggest complaint I hear about alternative therapies is that you have to do them consistently. You have to commit yourself to regular visits. It’s not a quick fix. But here’s the thing: you’ve been engaged in this unhealthy behavior for 10, 20, even 30 years�Ķthat’s going to take some time to un-do. As much as you want to think it away, it won’t go like that. It will begin to release with some consistent action and attention to deep healing on your part.

Idea #4: Creativity

When I began to write songs, I began to learn how to keep myself company. I got lost in this new discovery of silence and tinkering and moodling, and all the raucous joy that would arise (and still does) in those musical moments.

Women with eating issues are creative women. Often they are artists. They need to express themselves. Sometimes I wonder if the simple act of taking a pottery class wouldn’t eliminate the need for all the other stuff I’ve written about here.

It’s been reported that Americans don’t have hobbies anymore. In our American Idol consciousness, we don’t recognize the joy of getting lost in writing a poem, even a bad poem. Some of my happiest moments are when I’m drawing or making a collage. I’m seriously bad at visual art. But I love it because I can let myself do it badly. I can get lost in it without judgment.

Making something just for the sake of making something is powerful healing. Make a greeting card. Draw a picture. Play your guitar or piano for an hour. Creative ventures are powerful and will take you to territories that are so much richer and wilder than the spectacle of American Idol, which is only about trying hard to be something special for 12 minutes.

Be special to yourself forever. Make art. If you don’t have anyone to send it to, send it to me. If you haven’t already read it, I highly recommend The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron.

Idea #5: Trees, Woods, Oceans and Sky

Soon after I moved to Asheville, two of my new friends dragged me on a hike. I hated it. I didn’t like the up hill stuff. I dreaded not knowing what was around the corner. Then, I went on a hike that felt sort of fun. It was different. What I know now is that it was in a forest that hadn’t previously been logged. It had an untouched wild feel to it. I went back. And I kept going back. During my first year of healing bulimia, I hiked about five times a week on that same trail. I got to know nature. I learned about the beauty of winter stillness, as well as the awesome blooming of spring.

We are an indoor culture now. Our feet touch concrete and floor, never grass or dirt. Trees, breezes, leaves, mud, streams are all about life and energy and flow. You need life energy and flow in your body. We’ve lost touch with it. And we’re not meant to lose touch with it.

Get back in touch. It will heal you. Take walks. Go outside. Find a park or a hike or a lake. Start a garden. Observe. Sit down on a big rock. Have an adventure day. Be in it.

I now have a deep relationship with that same trail. I still hike it regularly. (The YMCA, who owns the property, clear cut 25 of its acres, which grieves me to no end.) I know every ladyslipper and galax bloom in the spring, and every aster in the fall. I talk to the trees. I feel like it has held me through vast pain and shown me the depth of awareness. It is why I wrote the song Everything Green.

Nature heals. Give it that chance.

Idea #6: Prayer

Yes, I pray. Very unconventionally, but daily. My healing took on a powerful velocity when I started praying.

When I pray, I don’t ask for “stuff.” Even when I was a kid, I didn’t ask for “stuff.” I just knew that wasn’t gonna do it. I don’t think God gives a hoot who wins a football game or if you get an agent. I pray with knowing. I use affirmative prayer. If I ask for anything, I ask for my own shifting of perspective. Sometimes the best prayer is simply, “Help.”

I’ll write a whole blog on prayer at some point. Until then, I recommend Marianne Williamson’s A Return to Love. I also recommend her book Illuminata if you don’t know what to pray. Iyanla Vanzant’s One Day My Soul Just Opened Up was instrumental in teaching me the power of prayer. I also used to read one of Julia Cameron’s prayers from her book Blessings out loud each day.