Woman says to her coach: â€śIâ€™m lowering the price on this package. Everyone says that number is too high.â€ť
Coach pauses. Then she asks: â€śEveryone? How many people have said this?â€ť
Woman thinks for a moment. Â Then she says, â€śWell, there were two, actually.â€ť
Guy announces to his mastermind group, â€śPeople keep telling me I should offer this whole other service so Iâ€™m going to hire someone to make that happen.â€ť
Coach squints her eyes and asks, â€śPeople? Who? How many?â€ť
Guy looks up at the ceiling: â€śUm. Letâ€™s see. In the past year, I think there were two â€“ no, wait! â€“ there were three!â€ť
So, you know how sometimes when you do a presentation or speech, they hand out these feedback forms to everyone in the room?
And of the 50 people in the room, everyone says positive things and maybe a few of them even rave?
But in that pile, thereâ€™s these two feedback forms that are not so nice?
â€¦which of those feedback forms will stick with you for, like, the next three weeks?
Yeah. I know. Me too.
Well, your lizard brain works that same way when it comes to ideas and changes in your business.
Enter â€śEveryoneâ€ť and â€śPeople.â€ť
The vague notion of â€śall thingsâ€ť is your lizard brainâ€™s way to get an added punch when trying to distract you, persuade you or derail you for whatever random reasons it has.
As a coach, my motto is â€śBeware of everyone and people!â€ťÂ That means I am militant about the use of these two words when it comes to opinions, tracking, decisions and supposed feedback.Â When a client comes to me with a bright shiny new idea, or a reason to stop doing something, or a sudden change of direction, I start in with my questions.
If I ask the right ones, the truth often reveals itself. Â And many times, the truth is that this new direction has been inspired by the infamous â€śeveryoneâ€ť or the ubiquitous â€śpeople.â€ť
â€śEveryone tells meâ€¦â€ť
â€śPeople keep sayingâ€¦â€ť
Maybe itâ€™s because we have this neurological need to pay attention to every nit-picky, critical or even seemingly thoughtful idea that someone tosses at us.
Or maybe itâ€™s because weâ€™ve spent our lives giving more weight to our feelings than to the facts, or even to the proof.
Or maybe itâ€™s because we are masters of doubting our own capabilities and ideas.
But for some reason, we often equate one or two people with the entire planet. Never mind that up til now, weâ€™ve been building momentum, getting clients, and are otherwise totally on track.
Now, of course, there will be some feedback thatâ€™ll be the perfect information to take you to the next level. You will hear the same comment from tens or hundreds of ideal clients.Â And you will be grateful.Â And you will correct course and please more people and make more money.
(and this is a big butâ€¦ which is why it got its very own paragraph)
â€¦until you have ACTUAL feedback, all youâ€™ve got is the drama queen in your head telling you that EVERYONE has offered this nebulous opinion and PEOPLE everywhere are waiting for you to do something about it.
â€śEveryoneâ€ť and â€śpeopleâ€ť are like â€śalwaysâ€ť and â€śnever.â€ťÂ Itâ€™s the language of hysteria.Â Itâ€™s not the language of truth. And certainly not the language of decision.
So, hereâ€™s what to doâ€¦
The next time you catch yourself saying, â€śEveryone has been telling me toâ€¦â€ť Or â€śPeople keep saying I shouldâ€¦â€ť
Do yourself a favor and ask yourself one simple questionâ€¦
â€śHow many exactly?â€ť
And then follow it with one moreâ€¦
â€śIs that number enough to justify making this big of a change or is there another way to look at this?â€ť
Hey, maybe this isnâ€™t something you even do.Â Maybe Iâ€™m taking a few tiny instances and turning them into a great big deal.Â Everyone keeps telling me I always do that.
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