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Picture this:

You’re going on a road trip.

You get in your car.

You punch your destination address into the GPS.

You hit “ENTER.”

Outta nowhere, your GPS speaks up:

“GEEZ-ZUHS!  Do you have any idea how LONG that’s gonna take?

And seriously – how EXACTLY do you think we’re gonna get there, huh?

Look at where you are now.  Look at it, will you please?!

Who do you think is gonna pay for us to get all the way over THERE?

I don’t know why you’re even bothering, really.  I mean, you’ve never gone there before!  How exactly are you going to pull this one off, missy?

Have you Lost. Your. Freakin’. Mind???”

——————-

Ask yourself this:

If every single dream, goal and vision ever created by anyone began with INTENTION…

And if you KNOW you can create your desires and dreams with INTENTION,

(If you’ve been reading this blog for four years – then by now you DO know that!)

…then why continue to ask HOW it’ll happen?

You’re more advanced than a GPS.

You don’t need to know HOW.

It’ll be shown to you one road at a time.

Today’s post is by Jennifer Louden. Jen is a best-selling author of six books including The Life Organizer. She has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show and is a national magazine columnist and radio show host. With over 875,000 copies of her books in print, she now speaks regularly to ten of thousands of women nationally.  She is most proud of raising an amazing teenage girl.

Sometimes, depletion happens because life happens: you adopt twins, launch a business, your best friend gets cancer, your father dies.

You deal, you get exhausted in the process, then you recover.

But there’s another, far sneakier and deadly, form of depletion I want shine a light on today.

This is the kind of depletion that you perpetuate because you’re afraid if you stop, you’ll be freed up to take action on your heart’s desire.

Only you don’t actually believe you have the goods, the talent, the energy to create your heart’s desire.

So you stay scattered or overcommitted or unfocused and viola! You never actually have to pursue your dream.

This kind of depletion can eat up your years of your life, your health, and even your desire to have a heart’s desire!

What’s especially insidious about this kind of depletion is you are busy. You may even be taking steps toward what you want—only you never seem to get very far because they aren’t quite the focused, bold or committed steps you need to take.

Life becomes a numbed out, depressing, gray grind.

And no amount of rest or massages or vitamins seem to help.

So what does?

Claim It

Start tracking the moments in which you keep the cycle going – when you allow a client session to go long, when you Twitter rather than paint, when you don’t tell anybody about the event you’re putting on.

Claiming is NOT an invitation to pummel yourself. Self-cruelty keeps the cycle going. Instead, see this as essential fact gathering. Facts are the way out of the overdoing / scattered doing fog that drains you. For change to happen, you first have to see the choices you are making. Keep a running log for two weeks.

Resourcing

Make a habit of being fed by and resting in something larger than yourself.

You need not believe in God or a higher power to do this. You did not create the gravity that is holding you to the earth or the oxygen you are breathing. Make a practice of noticing what is supporting you and letting it. Draw on it, breathe it in, rest into it. Experience this with your body rather than your mind.

You are never alone and you are always supported. Start experiencing that truth daily with your body and heart. Let it humble you and dissolve your “I have to do everything alone” story.

Go on Retreat

I’ve seen thousands of people shift the cycle of depletion and sometimes, end it entirely, by going on a retreat. I’ve heard from many more thousands who are too afraid or busy to retreat – too afraid their lives will change if they do, too afraid of being alone with themselves, too afraid of staking a claim to their own sovereignty.

These stories and these fears are far, far more frightening than anything that will ever happen to you on retreat. They’re the dragons you must slay to claim your life. They will never go away until you say, “I don’t believe you and you can’t stop me from venturing into my own heart.”

What More Would Be Possible?

My sweetheart asked me this question one day. “How many more people could you help if you got out of your own way?” I wanted to slug him, and isn’t that always a sign to pay attention? Do a free write for 5 minutes listing all the things that might be possible, the people who might be impacted, if you were rested, filled up and trusting yourself?

Plan your Day the Night Before

When you’re running on fumes, you live in reaction mode. Reaction mode drains you. When you decide how you want to focus your time and attention before your day starts, you lay claim to your right to choose your life. This doesn’t mean you won’t encounter resistance, fail to stick with your plan, or get interrupted. That’s life, not a sign you should quit. Keep your plan simple but specific and do it the night before!

Do the Highest Value Action First

When planning your day, focus on the biggest impact action that will move your dream forward and do that first. Meditating for 20 minutes, writing your novel for 30 minutes, exercising, calling a meeting planner about a speaking gig, reviewing your budget – focus in on what is often the scariest, but most powerful, action.

Wonderful creative soul, the truth is you won’t be able to give birth to your heart’s desire exactly the way you envision. Every creator holds a vision in his or her heart’s eye that is rarely exactly realized. It’s true, you may not have all the talent or smarts and energy you wish you had. You know what? It doesn’t matter. What does matter is you keep moving forward on what you most treasure. What is born and the most importantly, the process of birthing your heart’s desire, contains all the meaning and joy and renewal you crave.

Step out of the cycle of doubt and perfectionism and doing and come play with me!

If not now when?

Love yourself INTO action and OUT OF depletion with Jen Louden and 13 other world famous teachers… without even getting out of your pj’s!

Jennifer’s book, The Woman’s Retreat Book, was featured on Oprah. Now, Jen has created a Valentine’s Day weekend VIRTUAL RETREAT designed to give your creative heart a boost and your mind a rest!

The retreat package includes:

• A copy of “How To Retreat,” an eBook that helps you let go of the fear and shows you how to create the time.
• Gentle ‘Get Ready’ emails – to help you prepare for your self-caring-est weekend ever.
• Exclusive access to a members-only blog, where you will get untold amounts of support and encouragement, PLUS…
• 13 heart-expanding mini-retreats with world-renowned authors and healers.
• Easy-to-download recordings and transcripts of each mini-retreat – so you can come and go as you please.

If you sign up before February 5th, you get a $50 discount! So click here to come retreat with us!

Last Spring, at my annual Ob-Gyn check up, my doctor noticed something in my left breast that made her brow crinkle up.

“Nothing to be too concerned about, but I’d like you to get a mammogram just to be sure,” she said.

Only problem is this:

When your doctor crinkles her brow while she’s grabbing your breast, it’s hard to hear the part about not being concerned.

So, during that 3-week mammogram waiting period, here’s the temptation:

Call everyone.

Get them to console you. Make them be just as scared as your most scary voices. Call your mother. Relax into the sound of her shock and sympathy and worry.

I know that temptation all too well.

Even worse, I know my mom all too well.  Much as I adore her, my Mom would call her best friend, who would then call her two daughters and her best friend, who would send out an email to pretty much everyone in the local catholic diocese.

It would become a Wildfire of Worry.

Ernest Holmes, founder of Religious Science, was an ardent believer in the power of our thoughts.  In other words –

EVERYONE is a practitioner.

By that, he means that the power of prayer in the form of thought is in everyone. Thoughts are major energy. Thoughts become things.

So, for instance, if you tell me that you’re scared you’ll lose your job, and I get worried for you losing your job, and I share it with all my friends – then I add my energy to that thought form in the Universe.  (Ernest would call this “malpractice.”)

So that day at the Ob-Gyn, as I stood in the parking lot, I made the choice to stop and shift the energy in my head to become something different:

Deliberate.

First, I gave myself permission myself be a little scared.

After all, we’re bombarded by the fear of the “C” word in every media outlet around.  We women are taught to be terrified of our own breasts at a very early age.  (Some women have mastectomies in their 30’s based solely on the “runs in the family” fear!)

Second, I reminded myself of my favorite affirmation.

It’s the one that makes me strong, and keeps me aligned with what I most know to be true:

“My body is wise. My body knows exactly what to do.”

Third, I called my husband.

He is a master of keeping his thoughts in a grounded conscious place.

After that, I told my two best friends, who also know the power of their own thoughts and words.

That’s it.

I deliberately chose not to tell anyone in my family.  I wanted clean thoughts and clean energy surrounding the next three weeks. My job was to honor that desire.

Everything turned out fine. The mammogram was clear. All was well.

Now, I’m not claiming to have the magic pill here.  But I did share this experience with several of my coaching groups over the summer.  I’ve since heard back from several women who later had similar experiences, chose not to spark the “wildfire of worry,” and created their own affirmations or used mine.

In fact, as they’ve supported each other, one affirmation has risen to the surface as the favorite for everyday use, for building trust in our bodies, and overall lightening up of the fear.

“Happy Healthy Boobs!”

Feel free to use it, and become a practitioner yourself!

In my pre-teen days, one of my favorite magazines featured an article about how to have a “Marvelous Me Day.” Looking back, I think it was designed to build self-esteem. At the time, I loved the idea. The pictures made it look so exciting to style my hair and do face masks and jot things down in my diary.

The reality – as often happens – wasn’t nearly as cool as the idea.

For one thing, it rained that day. For another, my mom kept yelling at me to pick up my room. Then, my sister was in the bathroom with the door locked most of the afternoon. And jotting lists in my diary wasn’t really my style.

I ended up feeling less than Marvelous, actually.

This memory appeared when my friend Gina told me that she wanted to start having a “Creativity Day” once a week. She wanted to get in touch with her Creativity and allow space for that to blossom.

It’s a great intention, no?

Only problem is that when we set out to be Creative (with a capital C), the pressure is on. It’s like demanding that we “Feel Spiritual” each time we sit down to meditate. (Or “Marvelous” because of an herbal face mask!)

So, my friend asked me if I had any thoughts about what she should do during her “Creativity Day.”

I did.

Here they are…

Creativity Day Tip #1: Lose the Capital “C”

I capitalize Creativity a lot – because it’s the name of my weekly eZine and my blog. But it’s not a word that needs a capital C.

That’s because Creativity is our natural state. It’s not a Holiday. Or a proper noun.

In fact, creativity is simple, even boring in its silent uneventful-ness. Trying to catch it in a day is a lot like trying to get my cat Billie to come to me when I’m holding the nail clippers.

Creativity Day Tip #2: Think HOUR. Not DAY.

Much as I love the boldness of “Creativity Day,” I suggest starting small. “Creativity Hour” is good.

Again, it’s about the pressure.

If you’re longing to experience the simple pleasure of creativity, then “Creativity Day” is requiring a lot. Especially if you’re a little bit unsure.

In fact, it’s a lot like looking at your husband on Valentines Day morning and saying: “Tonight, we need to have the best sex we’ve EVER had in our entire lives!”

Am I saying it’s all about what you TELL YOURSELF about creativity?

Kinda.

I joke with my clients that doing ANYTHING well is a lot about tricking your ego.

So, in the same way you might experience more sexual wonderment with your husband if you say, “I’m thinking pizza and the Tarheels game tonight,” you’ll also have better luck with your creativity if you say, “Let’s just try this for an hour.”

Creativity Day Tip #3: Define the Activity.

When I asked my friend what she was going to do on her Creativity Day, she said, “I was just going to see what I felt “inspired” to do.”

(Pause for a deep breath.)

Okay, that’s fine.

That works.

Sometimes.

But when you’re tapping into the flow of creativity – it will probably be easier on you if you DEFINE an activity in advance.

I told my friend that I had lots of ways of experiencing creativity: songwriting, collage, blogging – even the work in my business feels creative! But rarely do I just let “inspiration” guide me. I used to try that with songwriting, and I would jump from song to song to song and never get very deep – because I was waiting for inspiration. I would also lose focus and eventually end up mindlessly eating junk food.

My experience is that creativity begins to flow when you define your activity first.

Gina told me that she LOVES collage. She also loves giving to her friends. So, I suggested that she begin collaging postcards or greeting cards.

A defined activity will help her enter that hour with a starting point. The piece or purpose might change, for sure.
But as the saying goes: You can’t correct course if you’re not moving.

Creativity Day Tip #4: Set a Timer.

(My apologies to those people who think Creativity comes fully equipped with angel wings and fairy dust.)

Use your iPhone timer. Use the clunky timer that’s stuffed in the back of your kitchen junk drawer. It matters not.

When you set a timer, it’s not about saying “Ready Set Go!” It’s about creating a habit. And the timer tells the ego, “This is our defined time. You can just sit back and be quiet because the next hour is Creativity Hour. Hush up.”

I use a timer for all of my creative activities. It keeps the focus strong. And it lets me know there’s an end point.

Creativity Day Tip #5: Your Habits Create Creativity.

Confession: I’ve released seven CD’s and a DVD. I’ve written hundreds of songs, over 500 blogs and articles, and have countless journals and collage collections…

…and I rarely “feel” creative.

That’s because it’s more about my habits and my actions than about “feeling” it. When I first started writing songs, I felt a lot like Gina. It was a Big Deal. It was SONGWRITING and CREATIVITY with capital letters. (And exclamation points!)

But I started using a timer. And I started showing up song by song, I became aware of this thing that always exists.

It always exists in you too.

Your job is to remove the ego gunk – the pressure and perfectionism that blocks it. Your job is to show up. Your job is to not require that it be bigger than it needs to be!