“Hell Maybe!”
June 30th, 2009 by Christine Kane
Movement starts with decision.
Change starts with decision.
Creating something new starts with decision.
Decision is “Intention with legs.” When you set an intention to make changes in your life, it won’t take long for the Universe to present you with opportunities and choices to make you very clear about your direction and your desires. (And your power!)
Some of these choices will be terrifying, exciting, and totally uncomfortable. Some of them will merely be old patterns dug up from your past. Some will require that you step up in a bigger way and take a huge risk. Some will require that you let go and say, “Not so much.”
Let’s take Sylvia for instance.
Sylvia is one of my clients in my Platinum Coaching Circle. She came to our first mastermind retreat in April, scared to stand up in front of the group. She was miserable in her job. She hated where she lived. She had settled for everything in her life from her relationship to her career.
During her time in front of the group, her path became obvious. And with the encouragement of the women there, Sylvia went back home knowing it was time to make some decisions.
Now, less than three months later, Sylvia is living in Colorado – where she has always dreamed of living. (But never admitted to anyone until this year.) She attracted her ideal job. She is creating a new paradigm for herself and her life.
On our coaching call last week, she said (and I could tell she was smiling when she said it), “If you saw my new office compared to my old one, it’s so funny! I look out of these big glass windows at snow-capped mountains. At my last job, I looked out at an ugly construction site. Everything is so different now, inside and out!”
Her shift has been fast. Lightning fast. It can take your breath away.
Are we allowed to move that quickly? Absolutely!
In fact, successful people will tell you that they have learned to make decisions in the blink of an eye.
It’s tempting to think that “Yes” will bring velocity, motion, and change. But “No” creates speed as well.
In fact, Sylvia’s first decision upon returning home was to say “No” to her dead-end job. (She stopped waiting for them to make a decision to fire her.) She said “No” to the renewal on her condo lease. She said “No” to some of her relationships. Her yeses didn’t come until after she said a whole bunch of no’s.
What she stopped doing was saying “Maybe.”
People get stuck not because they don’t know what to do. People get stuck because they stop making decisions. They get stuck when they stop saying Yes or No.
They get stuck when they say “Maybe.”
“Maybe” is where we settle for things instead of choosing them.
“Maybe” is where we think we can stay safe.
“Maybe” makes people around us comfortable because we’re not threatening their status quo.
“Maybe” – whether it’s about choosing a business coach, a new job, or a pair of jeans – tells me that people are still a little afraid of their own power. “Maybe” is a way of saying, “Yea, well, I’m not sure I want to live with the consequences of my choice.”
There are times when “Maybe” is appropriate, even necessary. But “Maybe” is often just fear of making a decision.
Most of us know our Yeses and No’s. We know almost instantly. We know our passions. We know what we want. And we definitely know what we don’t want.
The stuff that comes after that instant knowing is just mental ruminating designed to keep us in one place.
My coach’s favorite mantra for making decisions in life is this: “If it’s not a Hell Yes, it’s a Hell No.”
No one ever says “Hell Maybe!”
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June 30th, 2009 1:27 am
Very Inspirational article! In true, second-guessing form, though, I hemmed and hawed over whether or not to post a comment. This is my “Hell, why not?” –Lori
June 30th, 2009 2:40 am
Dear Christine
After I read your blog, I noticed that I should say less “maybe”s in my life.
I certainly have points where I should say “no”s, where I had said “yes”es.
Seems that we all need to consider the saying : “Think twice, say once”.
Thanks for your positive energy that lightens us.
Sina from Türkiye
June 30th, 2009 6:25 am
Thanks for all of your insight. Sometimes (like today)I’ll click over to your blog and you tell me exactly what I need to here (read). This also comforts me in that if you are taking the time to share these insights with us…then I am not the only one who needs it!
June 30th, 2009 7:49 am
Christine, this is awesome. I will print this one out and also send it along. And Sylvia, this makes me smile ear to ear for you!!! You are amazing!!
June 30th, 2009 8:21 am
Wonderful! I can picture Sylvia in her office now…and riding her bike up and down some big-ass mountains. Whoo-hoo!
June 30th, 2009 8:43 am
Hi Christine,
I love it!!
And in fact…something has presented itself recently to me…and I’ve been stuck in “maybe land”. It’s time to make a decision! Otherwise, this maybe will just fester into an eventual “Hell no!”.
June 30th, 2009 8:44 am
I love this post. I can so relate to Sylvia. I, too, want to live in Colorado, but their are too many maybe’s in my way. Maybe when the kids are older. Maybe someday. Maybe when I earn a million bucks. The maybe’s seem to flow like honey, but they are sticky like honey as well, keeping me stuck right where I am.
June 30th, 2009 8:45 am
OK…I hate typos (I am a reforming perfectionist). “Their” should have been “there.”
June 30th, 2009 8:48 am
Great Christine,
I had heard that successful business leaders learn to make decisions in an instant. I am choosing to do an experiment of going with my first knowing or intuition on decisions today. I am trusting that I am divinely guided and that I am being led into situations and circumstances for my highest good. Thank You for the inspiration and I am tweeting about this on twitter. Hell Yes!
June 30th, 2009 9:14 am
Christine:
As someone who often has trouble making decisions, I could strongly identify with this post. Thanks for writing about this topic…it is a reminder that I need more decisiveness in my life.
June 30th, 2009 9:14 am
As with so many of your posts, Christine, I feel like I needed to read this today and get really clear about what I want. Love your blog!
June 30th, 2009 9:21 am
Christine:
As always, your words ring true, and your timing is remarkable. With so many changes happening in my own life (many of which have been the result of me saying YES to living fully and genuinely), it is encouraging to find your support and inspiration.
We have been raised to play it safe, to walk cautiously ahead, if at all. To take the risk to live our lives fully has always been a threat to so many, for such selfish reasons.
May we all have the courage to say YES at least once a day where we might have held back. The lives we change may begin with our own, but our freedom and our genuine living will spread to our many friends and family who, just like many of us, need the encouragement and the push to make that change.
Love to all, in all ways. <3
June 30th, 2009 11:00 am
My music partner and I can be so tentative about things that we actually named ourselves ‘The MayBees’ with that fact in mind. Haha! I am currently working on turning a couple of ‘maybe’s’ in my life into either yes’s or no’s. Very UNCOMFORTABLE!
Thanks for the great support and encouragement through your work.
Jeri
June 30th, 2009 12:24 pm
Hi Christine, from Sibiu in Romania !
Ever since listening to your call a few weeks ago I’ve been keeping an eye out for any “hell maybes’ that might be lurking around. Its such a great quick aid to making decisions.
I think developing the “make decisions fast” has been a crucial one for me – which very much went against my previous patterns of careful and slow consideration. Well, I still don’t exactly throw caution to the wind, but I have been deciding to do things quickly. For one, this photo project ( of 12 cities, and I’m just completing number 11 ! ) was an instant decision, for which I worked out the details afterwards instead of before.
My exhibition earlier in the year was also something I decided more or less as soon as I saw the opportunity. It “felt right”. I do think that this is a skill you can work on and get better at ( thank goodness).
Best wishes
June 30th, 2009 1:18 pm
This one REALLY resonates with me right now.
June 30th, 2009 1:30 pm
A grand hell yeah to that!
))
June 30th, 2009 2:17 pm
Another great post! I was stuck in maybe land with my portfolio website (waiting for perfection:) and finally just launched it. saying Yes to having it online has been so freeing! Thanks for all the excellent insights. Cheers
June 30th, 2009 2:59 pm
I was saying Yes too many times until Mother Nature smacked me into a brick wall – literally! A dog walking accident traumatically broke my legs. I am mending, but the 4 months in a wheelchair helped me learn: 1) to say No, 2) to ask for help, and 3) to redesign my life so I am not SuperWoman doing everything, but Nature Rabbi doing what I love. Too bad it took a smack into the wall to get my attention.
June 30th, 2009 3:28 pm
WOW…the timing of this absolutely hit the mark for me personally. I was coaching a client this morning and this issue of the “jell-o” quality of indecisiveness. We moved her beyond and were both feeling great…then I came to an impasse in my own life. Was toying with “maybe”, but I do believe it’s a “hell no!”
And I feel like shouting it from Sylvia’s snow-capped mountains!!!
Thanks, as ever.
June 30th, 2009 3:42 pm
Oh Christine, I LOVE this so much that I copied it & sent it to a dear friend of mine. It ran along the same lines as I knew that was happening for her.
It’s not even just the ‘maybes’, it is also the ‘coulds’. I hear SO many people say “I could do (fill in the blank)”. That has always been my sign that it is not the one.
Thank you for all that you do!
June 30th, 2009 3:49 pm
That “No one ever says Hell Maybe” a couple of weeks ago on the call has stuck like super glue. It gives such amazing clarity, a real stress reliever in that you eliminate a “leak” in the energy supply because you don’t have to think and consider as much. Thanks so much.
June 30th, 2009 6:13 pm
As someone who lives in Colorado, I still get stuck on the “maybe’s”. I read somewhere that being consistently indecisive is a sign of boredom in your life. This reminder, plus “Taking Imperfect Action” are my best motivators. Thanks for the spur!
June 30th, 2009 6:31 pm
THanks, Christine! I still find getting past the maybe’s sorting out clutter to a challenge. I think I have a hunch that if I really followed the Hell Yes only motto, my house would be empty!!
Thanks for the reminder. Can’t hear/read it too often. And for the one about taking imperfect action–I had been putting off making a new vision board because I didn’t have the “perfect” magazine selection!
Keep ‘em coming! (as I know you will)
Sukie
June 30th, 2009 7:49 pm
Hellyeah!!!
Thank you! So much truth!
June 30th, 2009 9:42 pm
What a timely post. I have been making decisions at the speed of lightening while working on emptying my late mom’s condominium and deciding what to do with her things both precious and mundane. My sister is not joining me in these instant decisions and is full of indecision. I am getting great support from family and friends that my decisions are appropriate. So…despite family patterns (give in to my sister), I am moving forward with my gut driven instant decisions…on who to trust, what is worth keeping, what is worth selling, what is worth fighting over. Tough stuff but the answers come to me in a flash. Many thanks for the synchronicity of your post.
June 30th, 2009 10:55 pm
Hell yeah!
July 1st, 2009 1:49 am
My kids groan whenever I say “Maybe” because, as one put it, “Maybe means No!” Which I’ve tried to keep in mind both for them and for myself.
July 1st, 2009 6:49 am
Thanks, Christine. This post was definitely a “hell yes” for me this morning. There is nothing like that wonderful feeling of deciding exactly which path/decision you want to take and getting all the other choices off the table and out of the way. It’s like clearing clutter for me and centers me immediately. Off to make some of those decisions……….
July 1st, 2009 7:44 am
Sh..or get off of the pot is correcto-mundo. You go, girl! From right outta nowhere to somewhere…and somewhere great!
July 1st, 2009 2:21 pm
“People get stuck not because they don’t know what to do. People get stuck because they stop making decisions. They get stuck when they stop saying Yes or No.”
Love this insight. Sounds very familiar.
July 1st, 2009 3:27 pm
jonathan, i am so right there with you. that has a VERY familiar ring to it. half my battle is just ‘getting in gear’.
July 2nd, 2009 8:01 am
“Hell Maybe!” I love that — what a fun, great and inspiring post. A friend of mine and I talk about taking quantum leaps — saying those big No’s and big Yes’s to things we’ve been feeling for awhile but keep putting off. The Sylvia example you used was perfect. I’m going to send this post to a couple friends who may need the extra encouragement.
July 2nd, 2009 8:34 am
[...] of which, Christine Kane’s blog, Hell Maybe proved to be invaluable to me this week when I went for an interview. It was in my mind as I went [...]
July 3rd, 2009 10:05 am
Great post. Steve Pavlina has a great post about this too. He advocates setting a timer for anywhere between 30 seconds and five minutes to make a decision. I started doing it and it works! The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master – if I leave it all up to my mind, instead of my gut, I’ll ruminate on what kind of mascara to buy for ages!
July 5th, 2009 2:27 am
Thanks for the post!
I read this a couple days ago, and I didn’t think much of it, but now whenever I’m making a decision I’ll ask myself, “Is this a hell yes?” and if its not, I don’t do it. It’s great!
July 5th, 2009 4:40 pm
My writing coach just introduced me to you and your site. It came at a perfect time in my life as I am facing a lot of adversity and uncertainty which is affecting my creativity and motivation. I really liked your post and I am going to stop saying “maybe” and aim to make some definitive decisions starting NOW. I also realized I am constantly falling into a lot of “creativity blocking” traps. I will no longer check my email first thing in the morning, I will no longer strive for perfection every time I write and I will no longer ask for feedback on my work from family and friends. Thanks so much for your inspiration and help.
SeanDon
July 12th, 2009 12:26 am
To Andrea,
I think there’s a difference between making a decision and making a fast decision — especially when a person is going through what you’re going through. I also think you could be dealing with two things (probably more): taking care of your Mother’s things, and dealing with the history of your relationship with your sister. Taking time to sort things doesn’t mean you’re falling into a “maybe” situation; nor does it mean you’re giving in to your sister. I would suggest making the decision to slow down a bit . . . so you can reflect on what’s happening (perhaps grieve). There are so many variables here that you didn’t put on the table — I’m not asking that you do. I offer these thoughts as someone who’s just now been able to pass through another phase after my own Mother passed away. For me, at least, it’s taking time to find my way. For your sake and your sister’s, I hope you both will as well.
To CK: Thank you for a great post. I went through with a decision today (saying “yes”). I should have said “no.” My take away — trust my gut. I didn’t. Next time, I will.
p
July 12th, 2009 11:13 pm
Follow-up to Andrea,
I thought about my post this morning (see above) and hoped that it didn’t sound preachy. I would add two thoughts: we each grieve in different ways, and I’m sorry for your loss. Time helped me get to a place where I could make decisions.
I wish you and your family all the best,
Pati
October 8th, 2009 3:07 pm
Had to look this up today – keep getting offers of “great” opportunities that I DO NOT want to take, and the offers are from a business colleague who doesn’t take “No” as an answer well. Well – tough. I don’t want to do it, and I’m not going to, and I don’t want to hear about it. The end!
December 21st, 2009 6:06 pm
[...] Christine Kane say if everything you’re doing or planning on doing isn’t a “Hell YES!” then it should definitely be a “Hell, NO!” [...]
January 28th, 2010 1:41 pm
[...] Hell YES! comes from a great post of Christine’s, Hell, Maybe!). Christine has a new UpLevel Your Business program starting on February 1..it isn’t too [...]