I thought about my post this morning (see above) and hoped that it didn’t sound preachy. I would add two thoughts: we each grieve in different ways, and I’m sorry for your loss. Time helped me get to a place where I could make decisions.

I wish you and your family all the best,

Pati

I think there’s a difference between making a decision and making a fast decision — especially when a person is going through what you’re going through. I also think you could be dealing with two things (probably more): taking care of your Mother’s things, and dealing with the history of your relationship with your sister. Taking time to sort things doesn’t mean you’re falling into a “maybe” situation; nor does it mean you’re giving in to your sister. I would suggest making the decision to slow down a bit . . . so you can reflect on what’s happening (perhaps grieve). There are so many variables here that you didn’t put on the table — I’m not asking that you do. I offer these thoughts as someone who’s just now been able to pass through another phase after my own Mother passed away. For me, at least, it’s taking time to find my way. For your sake and your sister’s, I hope you both will as well.

To CK: Thank you for a great post. I went through with a decision today (saying “yes”). I should have said “no.” My take away — trust my gut. I didn’t. Next time, I will.

p

I read this a couple days ago, and I didn’t think much of it, but now whenever I’m making a decision I’ll ask myself, “Is this a hell yes?” and if its not, I don’t do it. It’s great!