2009 Word-of-the-Year: COURAGE

Note: December is Word-of-the-Year Month at Christine’s Blog. As we roll into another New Year, each day will feature a new guest author who chose one word as a way of setting intention for her whole year. Today’s guest is Ann Rasmussen. More about Ann below.

When Christine posted reminding us to pick a word for the year, I had recently reconnected with an ex-boyfriend. We had broken up because he had taken a challenging job that required him to relocate from Portland, OR, where we lived. Now, months later, after a visit and a few weeks of phone calls, he invited me to come visit him in Guam. I pondered it, and the offer was on my mind as I chose my word.

I wasted no time in committing to “courage” in 2009. I called on New Year’s Day and told Greg I would like to come visit for a little while. My school commitments and a major project at work wound up in April, so I spent the next four months preparing to leave. A to-do list of Post-it notes covered the wall by my desk, keeping me on track. I arranged for a three month leave of absence from my job, found a new home for my cat, gave away all my furniture, and bought a one-way plane ticket. I planned to stop over in Japan, then continue to Guam.

As I started telling people about my plans, it surprised me that coworkers were particularly supportive, excited to know someone going on an adventure. They lit up a little bit, and I hope a few were inspired to turn over new leaves themselves – one has been making a lot of progress on her stalled novel recently. Close friends were more skeptical, needing a glimpse of my determination before they hugged me tightly and told me they’d miss me.

My two weeks in Japan were mind-blowing. I traveled on my own for a week, then Greg met me for the second week of travel. It felt good to get used to one another again in a place that was new to both of us, and I was pleased to see that we still traveled well together. After many evening walks and delicious meals, we packed up and flew on.

I was astounded to find that my first day in Guam was as disorienting as my first night in Tokyo. I kept walking into things and forgetting to turn off lights, killing Greg’s car battery. The first time we snorkeled, I sliced my finger and needed four stitches at the ER. Courage was an excellent companion as I found my way around, figured out where to buy tea and how to check my voicemail.

Despite the obstacles, this was also my first experience living with a sweetie, delightful in any circumstance and especially sweet in a beachfront condo. I got a job at a scuba shop within a week, which seemed fortuitous, and let the folks in Oregon know not to expect me back for a while.

And I promptly started needing courage again.  I discovered that another side of living with someone you dearly love is extending every little annoyance out over the rest of your life. I kept applying for jobs and was hired for a position that I had dreamed of back in Portland, but here it required me to work in a new culture in a new, largely undefined position. There was a lot of crying. There were a lot of phone calls back home. I wasn’t myself, and that worried Greg a lot about his decision to invite me out here.

Happily, though, after eight months, Guam is still out here, and not out there. I wasn’t myself, but I’m finally just about back to my par level of awesomeness. I’m writing this in a coffeeshop at the resort near our house, looking out at the ocean, stopping to joke with sweetie and look up tidbits on the internet. I’m hosting a big event at work next week, and will have eleven interns hired by the holidays. And Greg and I have discovered that having our own bedrooms helps us live together much more smoothly. The year is winding down, and I’m feeling able to release a little of my hold on courage and look for a new word to take me through the year ahead.

Ann Rasmussen is a sustainability coordinator living in Tamuning, Guam. Follow her adventures on Twitter at MarriedToPotato.

Tagged as: ann rasmussen, christine kane, guam, new years resolutions, word-of-the-year

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