Comments on: Are You a People Pleaser? (Or an Approval Whore?) http://christinekane.com/blog/are-you-a-people-pleaser-or-an-approval-whore/ Be Creative. Be Conscious. Be Courageous. Tue, 16 Mar 2010 23:31:50 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Happy Hour Fridays: This is me, baring my soul. | Sarah's Blog http://christinekane.com/blog/are-you-a-people-pleaser-or-an-approval-whore/comment-page-1/#comment-215132 Happy Hour Fridays: This is me, baring my soul. | Sarah's Blog Fri, 23 Jan 2009 17:08:50 +0000 http://christinekane.com/blog/are-you-a-people-pleaser-or-an-approval-whore/#comment-215132 [...] I spend my entire life running around, trying to make everyone happy. I’m not just a people pleaser, I’m an approval whore. [...] [...] I spend my entire life running around, trying to make everyone happy. I’m not just a people pleaser, I’m an approval whore. [...]

]]> By: e http://christinekane.com/blog/are-you-a-people-pleaser-or-an-approval-whore/comment-page-1/#comment-193555 e Tue, 02 Dec 2008 12:42:04 +0000 http://christinekane.com/blog/are-you-a-people-pleaser-or-an-approval-whore/#comment-193555 here are the ones i'm sticking with for now. i'm sure i'll wonder in about a month if i would have been better going with another word: 1. I've changed ORDER to "DIVINE ORDER" not sure why maybe because everything in my life is always in a state of disarray and i've been trying to get more organized and this made the word order less scary to know things are lining up as part of a bigger purpose to help remind myself to have order and structure in my life. 2. CONFIDENCE - every close girlfriend/gay best friend of mine and every guy i've ever dated since high school has told me that I need more of this. Maybe I need to start listening to what life has been trying to tell me. 3. HEALTH/HEALTHY - I debated with this because I've really been blessed with good health. What i mean is for it to encompass everything. Healthy relationships. Healthy habits/lifestyle. Healthy living space etc. Which hopefully will bring me even better health and energy 4. EXPANSION which I have changed to POSITIVE EXPANSION. My first thought when I saw Expansion was ooh that's good then I was like wait I dont want my expansion in everything (eg my behind!). So I adjusted it. I would love to expand on the business, creativity, writing, friendships, and positive things that have been happening in the last year for me. I guess it's kind of like growth but this seemed even more Success/Career related and excited me more. (if i can throw in love as a general blanket word too that's something i'd like more of in every area of my mind/body/heart) here are the ones i’m sticking with for now. i’m sure i’ll wonder in about a month if i would have been better going with another word:

1. I’ve changed ORDER to “DIVINE ORDER” not sure why maybe because everything in my life is always in a state of disarray and i’ve been trying to get more organized and this made the word order less scary to know things are lining up as part of a bigger purpose to help remind myself to have order and structure in my life.
2. CONFIDENCE – every close girlfriend/gay best friend of mine and every guy i’ve ever dated since high school has told me that I need more of this. Maybe I need to start listening to what life has been trying to tell me.
3. HEALTH/HEALTHY – I debated with this because I’ve really been blessed with good health. What i mean is for it to encompass everything. Healthy relationships. Healthy habits/lifestyle. Healthy living space etc. Which hopefully will bring me even better health and energy
4. EXPANSION which I have changed to POSITIVE EXPANSION. My first thought when I saw Expansion was ooh that’s good then I was like wait I dont want my expansion in everything (eg my behind!). So I adjusted it. I would love to expand on the business, creativity, writing, friendships, and positive things that have been happening in the last year for me. I guess it’s kind of like growth but this seemed even more Success/Career related and excited me more.

(if i can throw in love as a general blanket word too that’s something i’d like more of in every area of my mind/body/heart)

]]> By: connie carpenter macko http://christinekane.com/blog/are-you-a-people-pleaser-or-an-approval-whore/comment-page-1/#comment-193076 connie carpenter macko Sun, 30 Nov 2008 22:28:43 +0000 http://christinekane.com/blog/are-you-a-people-pleaser-or-an-approval-whore/#comment-193076 Sigh... so wish I had been up to date on my google reader before thanksgiving. Perhaps had I read this, I could have been a wee bit more ready for the fiasco that was our family gathering. Maybe I will call my mother up and explain why taking all the grandchildren into a room away from their parents and berating them and feeding them racist nonsence and hurtful opinions was horribly damaging. maybe I will just stopping whoring myself for her approval (which I NEVER get anyway) and just be able to live with myself at peace for a change! Sigh… so wish I had been up to date on my google reader before thanksgiving. Perhaps had I read this, I could have been a wee bit more ready for the fiasco that was our family gathering. Maybe I will call my mother up and explain why taking all the grandchildren into a room away from their parents and berating them and feeding them racist nonsence and hurtful opinions was horribly damaging. maybe I will just stopping whoring myself for her approval (which I NEVER get anyway) and just be able to live with myself at peace for a change!

]]> By: Andrea http://christinekane.com/blog/are-you-a-people-pleaser-or-an-approval-whore/comment-page-1/#comment-192847 Andrea Sun, 30 Nov 2008 00:43:37 +0000 http://christinekane.com/blog/are-you-a-people-pleaser-or-an-approval-whore/#comment-192847 Well, this does hit home. I have called myself a "temple prostitute" for years and I meant exactly what you are describing. The only problem is that I believed the "temple" part of it....that it was really very clever and cool and holy of me to be able to do this. Frankly, I am ready to leave the temple and let the gods find their next prostitute. One foot out the door..... Well, this does hit home. I have called myself a “temple prostitute” for years and I meant exactly what you are describing. The only problem is that I believed the “temple” part of it….that it was really very clever and cool and holy of me to be able to do this. Frankly, I am ready to leave the temple and let the gods find their next prostitute. One foot out the door…..

]]> By: Bettie http://christinekane.com/blog/are-you-a-people-pleaser-or-an-approval-whore/comment-page-1/#comment-191953 Bettie Wed, 26 Nov 2008 21:48:51 +0000 http://christinekane.com/blog/are-you-a-people-pleaser-or-an-approval-whore/#comment-191953 Christine - can you recommend a coach? I'm too busy getting everyone's approval!! Christine – can you recommend a coach? I’m too busy getting everyone’s approval!!

]]> By: Bettie http://christinekane.com/blog/are-you-a-people-pleaser-or-an-approval-whore/comment-page-1/#comment-191952 Bettie Wed, 26 Nov 2008 21:46:31 +0000 http://christinekane.com/blog/are-you-a-people-pleaser-or-an-approval-whore/#comment-191952 WOW! WOW! WOOOOWWWWOOOOWWWOOOOW!!! i think this might be me. All wrapped up in confusion and matrydom, angry, desperately wanting to change my life - but how? when I'm so drained, and busy, making everyone else happy. And my back hurts... tomorrow I"ll think of me. Yes. I get it. I stumbled on this blog today. It was meant to be WOW! WOW! WOOOOWWWWOOOOWWWOOOOW!!!
i think this might be me. All wrapped up in confusion and matrydom, angry, desperately wanting to change my life – but how? when I’m so drained, and busy, making everyone else happy. And my back hurts… tomorrow I”ll think of me. Yes. I get it. I stumbled on this blog today. It was meant to be

]]> By: Vicki in Michigan http://christinekane.com/blog/are-you-a-people-pleaser-or-an-approval-whore/comment-page-1/#comment-191895 Vicki in Michigan Wed, 26 Nov 2008 16:31:32 +0000 http://christinekane.com/blog/are-you-a-people-pleaser-or-an-approval-whore/#comment-191895 Sometimes it pays to be "the bad one." They already know you are bad, so you can do what needs to be done, even if it is unpopular or makes the matriarch sad or whatever, without fear of disappointing someone......... "Well, what do you expect, from *her*............." Sometimes it pays to be “the bad one.”

They already know you are bad, so you can do what needs to be done, even if it is unpopular or makes the matriarch sad or whatever, without fear of disappointing someone………

“Well, what do you expect, from *her*………….”

]]> By: Ria http://christinekane.com/blog/are-you-a-people-pleaser-or-an-approval-whore/comment-page-1/#comment-191045 Ria Sun, 23 Nov 2008 22:02:25 +0000 http://christinekane.com/blog/are-you-a-people-pleaser-or-an-approval-whore/#comment-191045 How serendipitous! I just wrote about the exact same thing... that is so easy for us to shelve our needs (or desires or dreams) for everyone else's. And your question, "Who am I without their love and approval?" cuts right to the heart of the matter, illuminating WHY it is that we do that!!! Thanks, Christine! Ria How serendipitous! I just wrote about the exact same thing… that is so easy for us to shelve our needs (or desires or dreams) for everyone else’s. And your question, “Who am I without their love and approval?” cuts right to the heart of the matter, illuminating WHY it is that we do that!!! Thanks, Christine!

Ria

]]> By: Candace http://christinekane.com/blog/are-you-a-people-pleaser-or-an-approval-whore/comment-page-1/#comment-190900 Candace Sun, 23 Nov 2008 12:44:26 +0000 http://christinekane.com/blog/are-you-a-people-pleaser-or-an-approval-whore/#comment-190900 Thank you, Christine, for "doing the work" and "walking the path." We all gain from your insight. Thanks for helping us to remember. Candace Thank you, Christine, for “doing the work” and “walking the path.” We all gain from your insight. Thanks for helping us to remember. Candace

]]> By: Christina http://christinekane.com/blog/are-you-a-people-pleaser-or-an-approval-whore/comment-page-1/#comment-190633 Christina Sat, 22 Nov 2008 15:02:25 +0000 http://christinekane.com/blog/are-you-a-people-pleaser-or-an-approval-whore/#comment-190633 OK...so when I read this I thought People pleaser-that's me, no way was I prostituting myself for approval. Then I re-read my response to "How to Say No (Before You get Put on the Spot). Yikes!!! That was a long hard cold look in the mirror. And although the word "whore" is a bit icky, so is the word approval junkie or addict, but sometimes in this day and age of trying to not step on anyone's sensibilities, the truth hurts. Thanks Christine for having the guts to point out the obvious to the sometimes oblivious (just raised that way I guess) and giving us the opportunity to receive a swift kick in the blog and make adjustments if we want. OK…so when I read this I thought People pleaser-that’s me, no way was I prostituting myself for approval. Then I re-read my response to “How to Say No (Before You get Put on the Spot). Yikes!!! That was a long hard cold look in the mirror.

And although the word “whore” is a bit icky, so is the word approval junkie or addict, but sometimes in this day and age of trying to not step on anyone’s sensibilities, the truth hurts. Thanks Christine for having the guts to point out the obvious to the sometimes oblivious (just raised that way I guess) and giving us the opportunity to receive a swift kick in the blog and make adjustments if we want.

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