Today marks the beginning of a five-week e-Seminar I’m leading. It’s called The Great Big Dreams e-Seminar. And on our opening day, each participant will commit to being complaint-free, criticism-free, whine-free, and gossip-free for the full five weeks of the course. That’s 35 days, baby!

I’m doing it too.

Many a success guru, spiritual teacher, and business coach have recommended going complaint-free for at least 21 days. That’s because, according to experts, it takes 21-days to form a new habit. And now, it’s sweeping the world in bracelet form because of a book called A Complaint-Free World.

Though I have yet to make it through a full 21-days without a complaint, I know that this time’s a winner for me. I made myself sign the contract I sent out to participants. Of course, there’s no punishment if you don’t make it. As Edwene Gaines says in her Alabama accent, “And honey, it’s okay if you get 15 days into it, and then you forget. You just correct yourself, recognize you complained, and then start over at day number one again.”

Here are 10 Irresistible Reasons to Go Complaint-Free Starting Today:

1 - When you’re complaint-free, you learn to find solutions rather than staying mucked in the problem.

If you don’t offer yourself the option of complaining, then you might start training your brain to actually find solutions and get ideas. As Maya Angelou says, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.”

2 - When you’re complaint-free, you shrink your ego.

Complaining builds your ego. It makes your ego stronger because it makes someone or something else wrong. And it makes you right. You become inflated and puffed up. Well, actually you don’t, but your ego does. Ceasing the complaining/criticizing/gossiping habit tells your ego that you are in charge, and that you want to create new habits.

3 - When you’re complaint free for 21-Days, you’ve started a new habit and created a new you.

4 - When you’re complaint-free, it’s a conversation starter.

Imaginary scenario: Someone rushes into your office to gossip or whine. You get to simply smile and say, “Gosh, you know, I’d love to join in, but I’m in the middle of a Complaint-free Contract. Would you like to look at it?” And the person says, “Huh? What’s that?” Then you get to propel the conversation in a different direction.

5 - When you’re complaint-free, it’s a conversation deepener.

That same person who rushes into your office will listen for a while and then say, “Wow, that’s a really great idea. I always notice how easy it is to complain, and I want to be more self-responsible…” You’ll then share a deeper connection when you each admit that you want to live more happy and focused lives.

6 - When you’re complaint-free, it becomes viral.

You start attracting more positive people to you. The negative people will walk away and just think you’re a complete moron. But then, you’ll start noticing positive curious people coming into your life because you are so much fun to be around.

7 - When you’re complaint-free, you banish lazy thinking.

Think about it - you can’t get much lazier than complaining and gossiping. It’s the same well-worn neural pathway you’ve trudged down day after day, along with 85% of the population. When you’re complaint-free, you find other things on which to focus. With alertness and alacrity, you find new ways of seeing things. (And you get to use words like “alacrity.”)

8 - When you’re complaint-free, you create happiness.

9 - When you’re complaint free with a group, you get to soar on the updraft of the great group energy.

When groups work together - even only on the level of intention - magic happens. It’s why people love Mastermind groups. It’s why I invite people to join in on the retreat prayer lists. You allow effortlessness when you link up with a group of like-minded people. Join us today and create a cool updraft and all kinds of good things happen.

Who’s in?

This is part four of a multi-part series on taking action in the month of May.

Click here to read Part 1.

Click here to read Part 2.

Click here to read Part 3.

Maybe you’re accusing me of pushing you too hard with this Take Action Challenge thing. Maybe you’re resentful that I want you to start moving towards your dreams and your goals. Maybe you’re thinking, “Well, hmm, how can I guarantee that I will accomplish nothing by the end of the year?”

If you are one of these people, then this post is for you. I have compiled a list of tried-and-true methods that millions and millions of people use every day to stall out, get stuck, and keep proving to themselves that taking action just doesn’t work for them.

There are many ways to get nothing done. But since I’ve been accused of writing posts that are too long, I’ve narrowed this down to five items. Five proven techniques that keep us stuck and stalled.

Here’s how to get nothing done…

1 - Ask for permission.

Here’s a great way to get really stuck. Ask around a lot. Ask friends. Especially ask your co-workers. What do you think about my dream of being a poet? What do you think of me learning to invest my own money in the stock market? How would you react if I told you I wanted to start a business? How about an adventure? Should I try that?

The reason you want to do this is because most people don’t take chances. And most of them don’t want you to take a chance because then it will make them have to re-think their life choices. And man, that’d be a drag. If someone were to succeed when they tried something different, then that would mean that all these old beliefs and superhighways of negativity that people have constructed in their brains might not be the truth.

Well? Guess what? They’re not. Secretly everyone knows this, but the big conspiracy is to act like they don’t. So, ask for permission to try something different. Ask for permission to take action towards creating a life you love. Be careful though — there might be a few folks in your life that’ll give it to you! (Hint: These are the ones who laugh a lot.)

2 - If you scheduled a take-action task, ask yourself how you “feel” about doing it.

Try this: Schedule a visit to the gym before your work day begins. Set your alarm for 5am. When the alarm goes off, ask yourself the following: “Do I feel like getting out of my flannel sheets? Do I feel like traipsing out to my car and driving in the dark to a room where I will - under the pasty green glow of florescent lights - pedal in place for 35 minutes as guys named Jimbo create tremors in the building when they throw down their thousand pound dumbbells with a loud “Huuuuuuuuuuhrrrrhhh!”? Do I feel like hearing Gwen Stefani sing about bananas in the background of this scene?

What do you think your answer will be? Of course you won’t feel like it. You feel like flannel!

Here’s a secret: As long as you ask yourself if you feel like it, you won’t ever feel like it. So, keep asking yourself if you feel like it.

3 - Say “I think I’ll just check my email” before you begin.

Do I really need to say anything more about this one?

4 - Ask yourself this question often: “I wonder what people think of me.”

I find this technique to be the most successful way to stop me in my tracks. Especially when I’m about to sit down and write a song. It’s great to drum up some memories of bad reviews, or maybe even think about why a promoter decided not to book me. If I really work at it, I can think of a few people in town who don’t like me at all. I can hear them telling each other about how bad my songs are and how I probably won’t write another song. Sometimes, if I can’t think of these people, I can go back to high school in my imagination!

Before you get too deep into beginning any project, take a few moments to conjure up anyone you can think of that has ever had an opinion about you. Let them tell you whether or not you should begin now.

5 - Decide that it’s selfish to be the hero of your own life.

Oooooo. I’ve saved the best for last. Especially for us women. When all else fails, we love to pull out the selfish card. The selfish card is just one step above the B-word. Add on a simple, “Who do you think you are?” and you’ve got a surefire recipe for stopping in your tracks.

When I was first out of college, I kept telling people that I couldn’t believe that anyone could settle for a nine-to-five job and that there had to be a better way to live our lives. One person told me that I was being selfish, and that I didn’t get to just be happy all the time and to get over it. I found this to be quite effective in shutting me up for quite some time. You may find it works for you. Tell yourself that if you’re craving deep happiness, or inner peace, or outrageous joy - that you must be selfish.

But be warned: in order to maintain this attitude, you’ll want to avoid reading this amazing book, or seeing this amazing movie, or reading this amazing book, or this amazing book. You’ll also want to resign yourself now to the idea that life is meant to be a sacrifice with no daring adventures. Then, practice frowning into the mirror. A lot!

So there you have them. Go forth and, well…just stand there.

tags: creativity, music, health and wellness, business, motivation, christine kane

This is part three of a multi-part series on Taking Action. Click here to read Part 1. Click here to read Part 2.

She was incredulous. She leaned forward on the table and asked for the second time, “You were bulimic? You?” And I said, “Yea. For about 11 years.” And she said, “Wow. How’d you get over it?” She went on to tell me she suffers from depression and eating issues, and has never found a way out.

I get asked this question a lot. It’s a huge deal to recover from food addiction and depression. I know that. So, I’m grateful, and I’m willing to talk about it openly with those who ask.

There were a number of things that contributed to my recovery. But if I had to choose one thing, it would be “taking action.” Before I “took action,” I let action happen to me. It’s easy to let this be the pattern of your whole life, until you find yourself in a life you never wanted, and David Byrne is dancing in your head singing, “How did I get here?”

Here’s how it went: When I graduated from high school, it was assumed I’d go to college. So, I went to college. I had no idea if I wanted to go. I just went. When I got to college, I spent my summers doing lame (lame!) internships because I was told it looked good on my resume. I took classes because I was told they would be good for my career. (What career?) In short, I never actually took a moment to ask myself what I wanted and take action towards that goal. Coincidentally (?), I had a raging eating disorder. After college, the pattern continued, and I found myself in a job I hated, and dating a man who had nothing in common with me. Finally, a wise voice in my head said the following sacred words…

“You have got to be kidding me.”

Then one day, I got a guitar. The first thing I did when I got home each evening was to play my guitar for about an hour. Then I started writing in a journal every night before bed. Next thing you know, I left the guy…

You get the idea. I took action.

After my New Year’s blog, many people chose the word “Action” as their word of the year. This made me smile. Action is crucial. And not just for the sake of getting something done. It’s because of who you become during the getting it done.

(Note: Let’s be clear about something here. When I talk about happiness and recovery, I’m not talking about an event. I do not walk around in a state of bliss, shouting, “I made it!” I am still learning and growing just like you.)

So, why does “taking action” make you happier? Here are my five reasons:

1 - When you take action, you focus.

The average person lives in a pretty scattered state. It’s like my cat, Atticus. Sometimes I spot Atticus down the road a little ways. I call him. He looks up. He starts walking to me. A bird chirps. He turns his head. He starts walking in that direction. I call him again. He stops. He looks at me again. He walks towards me. A squirrel jumps in the leaves. Atticus sees it and starts heading that way. I call him again…etc. Eventually he makes it home. But only because I keep calling.

Most people let too many things take their attention. The news, the drama, the girlfriend with the cheating boyfriend, the boyfriend with the cheating girlfriend, the latest shooting, the latest bombing, the latest plague, an invitation to something they don’t want to do. Taking action sets your focus. You suddenly step out of the muck. And you claim your own present moment. You have an intention, and you hone in on something that actually matters. This act alone is nothing short of a miracle. And it feels so good.

2 - When you take action, you become a creator.

Creativity is the opposite of competition. Creativity is also the opposite of reaction. Being a creator makes you take the reigns in your life. The power that comes from choosing to do something and then doing it is unparalleled. Do that enough times, and you might just develop something called “self esteem.”

3 - When you take action, you decide.

Deciding is a big deal. Deciding creates direction. Lingering in indecision is a guaranteed way to get depressed. Making decisions forces you to ask yourself what you want, rather than just following the usual course of what you “should do.” Or what you “usually” do.

4 - When you take action, you engage.

Most people are busy. They are busy running around doing things. But they’re not engaged. They’re not connected. Taking action on a goal locks you into full engagement with your life and your spirit. Maybe not right at first when you’re taking baby steps. But eventually. Engagement brings joy. Having a connection to a project or to a goal can give your life meaning and excitement.

5 - When you take action, you create new patterns

Bruce Lipton travels the world teaching the principles of his book The Biology of Belief. One of those principles is that new neural pathways are created in your brain when you shift old emotional patterns. This is also what happens when you learn something new, or when you engage in a creative activity. You create new patterns in your day, in your body, and in your spirit. That sounds pretty lofty, I know. But it’s true.

Final thought: Someone wrote an email to Heather at her blog, Transcend Bulimia. The woman who wrote the email had begun healing her bulimia by taking one huge action: she quit college and began taking art classes. It’s a beautiful note. Read it here. Get inspired. Then, take some action!

tags: creativity, music, health and wellness, motivation, christine kane

Let’s say you had a baby. Congratulations! Your baby is the best human ever! You love your baby. You celebrate as it starts to crawl. You and your partner delight in this baby’s every new adventure.

Then, one day, the baby stands up on her own. “Yaaaaay!” you cheer. You clap your hands. The baby smiles and laughs. You think, “Wow. She’s gonna learn how to walk. Isn’t that great?”

One evening, you and your partner are on the carpet playing with your baby. Suddenly, your perfect child stands up again. She braces herself on the coffee table. You lean forward. Your partner grabs the movie camera. You get your parents on the phone to listen to the play-by-play. Walking is a big deal!

Your child lurches forward. You all gasp and hold your collective breath.

Then, CLUNK. She falls onto her butt on the carpet.

“Awwwww,” you say.

“Damn,” your partner says.

“Well, I guess that’s it. This one just wasn’t cut out for walking,” your parents say from their home in Boise.

“Oh well,” you say. “It wasn’t meant to be. That sucks.”

You hang up the phone. You turn off the camera. You take the baby up to bed. Tomorrow you’ll begin the search for a bigger stroller because your kid’s obviously gonna have to get through life on wheels.

Get the idea?

And yet, how many of us act like this with our own small beginnings?

Your project or your dream or your creation or your goal is your baby. If we all gave up on our kids as much as we give up on ourselves, then we’d have a race of humans with big calluses on their knees.

The Best Way to Take Action: Baby Steps

Every big project or big goal can be broken down into baby steps. Little lurches forward. Sometimes they’re clumsy. Sometimes they don’t even seem to make an impact. But this is how anything gets done.

- Years and years of built up clutter get sorted and thrown away one drawer at a time. (Plan for 30-minutes a day in one zone of the house - not “Get rid of clutter.”)

- Years and years of reckless eating and unhealthy habits get shifted one work-out at a time. (Plan a 45-minute work-out 5 days a week, and a once a month visit to an acupuncturist for a year - not “Lose 50 pounds by June.”)

- A song gets written in fits and starts. Hour by hour. Moment by moment. A flash of an idea. Then an edit. (Schedule in an hour of songwriting time in the morning. Start with scales to warm up. Not “Write Lots of Songs.”)

- A blogger builds her audience one post at a time, one link at a time. (Do one blog-activity for an hour each day. Not “Get 14,000 subscribers by September.”)

That’s how it works. It stinks, doesn’t it?

Actually, no.

Remember how I said in yesterday’s post that the process is the best part? That it’s where you learn and grow? Well, that’s the gem here. When you learn how to break a goal down into baby steps, and how to complete something fantastic using that method, then you have the key to doing anything.

The only block is your ego. Your ego wants it to be done now. Your ego wants to move through life risk-free, foolish-free, discouragement-free, mistake-free, tired-free. And the best way to trick your ego (and yourself) into letting go a little bit is to take baby steps.

I wrote a post in February about taking risks. For some people, baby steps are the big risk. Baby steps are a huge risk to your ego because they are so easy. SO easy! The ego wants big deals, major accomplishments, huge weight-loss, and fast results. In other words, the ego likes adjectives, not nouns. Those adjectives guarantee that you’ll stay stuck and never try anything new. Over time you’ll get that deals, accomplishments, weight-loss, and results feel pretty good — even without adjectives.

And besides, small is the new big. That goes for setting goals and taking action, too.

Now, try this: Take one of the two things you picked yesterday and ask yourself, “What one baby step could I take every day to complete this goal?” And then (and this is the big challenge) get out your calendar and schedule it in there daily for the whole month of May.

p.s. Don’t just nod your head. Get out your calendar. Schedule the time. Do it now.

p.p.s. My new DVD is only $25 — and my shopping cart has free shipping.

tags : GTD, blogging, goals, plans, hopes, music, goal setting, christine kane

Tomorrow is the first of May. One month before June.

Why is this significant?

June is halfway through the year. Thirty days from now, we’ll be in the sixth month of 2007. Are you the kind of person who gets to June and thinks, “Ohmigod, the year is half over - I haven’t even done anything with my goals or my word of the year!” ? If so, here’s your chance to do something empowering. You can get in on May’s Take-Action Challenge.

I get lots of emails and phone calls from readers of my blog. Their questions and concerns are often about where to begin. Where do you begin when you realize that you have so much to work on? Where do you begin when your business is in disarray and you’re tired? Where do you begin when your emotions keep sabotaging your progress? Where do you begin when you recognize that your health is out of balance?

Where to begin:

1 - You pick one thing. Your ego will hate this part. Your ego wants it all done now or doesn’t want to bother trying. Ignore that voice. Just pick one thing. It doesn’t matter what it is. The process - not just the end result - is what teaches you and grows you.

2 - You set the intent. Find a way to state your desire. Know what you want. Create an affirmation to use throughout the month. Get as clear about this intent as you can. What will it feel like to have this goal complete? What overall purpose does it have? In what way will the completion of it help you be happier or more centered or wealthier?

3 - After that, you take action. Taking action tells the universe (or your subconscious or your doubting voices), “…and I mean it!” The action is the seal. The action brings confidence.

Get Committed

When I first began in my songwriting career, I never admitted to anyone that I was a songwriter. I didn’t want them to say, “Oh yea? Prove it!” So, I hedged. I used phrases like “kind of,” “sort of,” “well, not that this could ever happen, but…” Then I found this quote from explorer W.H. Murray –

Until one is committed there is the chance to draw back; always ineffectiveness.

Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:

That the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would not otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man would have dreamed would come his way.

I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets:

“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it! Boldness has genius, magic, and power in it.”

I posted this quote on my music room wall. Then, I started to act. I changed my language. I began telling people “I’m a songwriter.” And I started writing everyday no matter what. Slowly, a career grew. And even more important, so did I.

Get some grace

The truest part of Murray’s statement is the part that says, “…then providence moves too.” Some would call this grace. Some would call it Law of Attraction. I don’t care what you call it. It’s the truth. My first gig was in a trashy bar. Someone stuffed a hundred dollar bill into my tip jar as he was leaving and said, “Keep doing this!” That was grace. (After having minimum wage jobs, that was a lot of money to me!) It has been a constant in my career, too. From guitar endorsement deals to people sending me audible.com gift certificates to thank me for blogging, (thank you right back!) I’ve had lots of synchronicities show up in my life just because I took action.

Of course, you’ll have ego voices telling you all the usual ego messages like “you’ll never pull this off” and “there’s just too much to do here.” But that’s why we do things to trick the ego. The next post will show you the very best way to do that.

In the meantime, your assignment - should you choose to accept it - is to pick one or two (more than two is a bit much if you’re new to this) goals to complete in May.

p.s. Joe Vitale wrote an inspiring little blog post about the power of action. Read it here.

p.p.s. Did you know that you can view an indexed list of all my blog posts by clicking on the word “Archive” in the right sidebar? WebGuy created that tool just for you!