No matter how much you love your work or how much you hate it, you gotta admit that everyone needs time off.
In fact, most of the women who come to my retreats say that they simply need rest. It’s remarkable to observe that their vision boards are filled not with pictures of expensive jewelry and fast cars – but with images of relaxation, prayer, and intentional eating.
The reality of our “days off,” however, is often much different from our vision board pictures, isn’t it?
Trips to Target, errands to the grocery store, hardcore yard work – all splattered over with constant checks on our email to see if there’s anything good we need to react to out there.
If this is you, don’t blame yourself. We’ve all done it.
And it’s not because something’s wrong with us. It’s not because we’re the only people in the world who can’t seem to clear everything off of our to-do lists. It’s not because we’re unfocused and irresponsible like our 10th grade math teacher told us. (Or was that just me?)
More likely, the reason we don’t give ourselves the restorative time off that we require is because we’ve never created clear definitions about what exactly you’re supposed to do on a day off!
If you’re not clear about your time off – then it’s way too easy to just jump from one thing to the next and never actually trust yourself to relax.
Think about it…
If all of your other activities bleed over into each other, then of course you might be a little freaked out that you’ll begin to relax and then never get motivated again! What’s to keep a nap from bleeding over into everything else? After all, every other activity you do seems to have no boundaries!
You can be clear about one thing though.
No matter if you’re self-employed, a harried wife and mom, a single person looking for a new job, you need to regenerate. Rest is where the real growth and expansion take place.
So, here’s how to maximize your days off and see the results of deep rest and fun…
1 – Schedule your time off
This is imperative. If it’s not on your schedule, it’s too easy to forego your rest time.
Of course, not everyone can take a full day, let alone a whole weekend. But a few hours of genuine relaxation time off for fun is better than a weekend spent with your attention splattered all over the place, worried about the things you’re not doing. Schedule your time. You’re worth it.
2 – Make an Allowed-to-Do list
What do you do on your day off? Do you even know what feels good to you? Is it playtime with the kids? Is it a long bath and trashy romance novels? Is it hiking in the woods? Or just a good no-interruptions nap with the cats?
Make a list of general things to do on days off or with hours off. Some people actually like to do some cleaning on their days off. I, for one, find that I ease better into my time off if I clean up a little. It gives the left-brain time for one last ramble as I move into resting time.
3 – Make a not-allowed-to-do list
The title of this list is “Here’s a list of what I’m not allowed to do during my scheduled time off…” This is the most important list of all.
Only you can define what activities you use to distract yourself into low-grade anxiety even on days off. Some suggestions would be:
Email
Checking investments, stats or any other analytical numbers that tell you how you’re doing
Phone calls to clients
Phone calls period
Turning on the computer
Yard work
Planning next week
Filing
Going into your office at all
Laundry
4 – Make a “Fun Things I Love List”
I know. I know. These lists are getting ridiculous.
But that’s because adults are ridiculous too! They forget what they love to do! And even if they do know what they love to do, they can let years slip by without ever doing it!
Creating a list will tune you in. “Ah, yes. This is something I really do love doing.” And you’ll be more aware of the opportunities to actually do this thing!
I, for one, love fast boats. I don’t want to own one. But I make sure that I get to take a few rides each year. For instance, when we go to the beach, (time off) I make it a point to find people I can hire to take us out for a few hours during sunset – just so I can have that wonderful delightful experience that fills my heart.
It is tempting to opt for the usual stuff that we are all supposed to love: manicures, pedicures, massages, spas, etc. These are all nice. But take some time to think about what are some of your unique delights? This list will remind you that you haven’t done “fun thing X” in about three years.
Examples of Things that Might Be Fun:
Kayaking
Ping pong
Playing dodge-ball with your kids or your nieces
Meditating
Yoga
Having a friend over for Thai food carry out
Watching romantic comedies
Rollerskating
Bowling
Hiking
Knitting
Reading stacks of magazines
Riding on fast boats
5 – Don’t be rigid
If it is truly challenging for you to give yourself downtime – as it is for many people – then start small. Schedule a few hours on Saturday afternoon and evening. Or if you really want to spend the time re-organizing your closets, then let that be your downtime. I recommend that you call it a Sniggly Day and really bathe in the idea of doing everything at your own pace. Still, I recommend scheduling defined start and end times.
6 – Tweak as you go
The only way to know how you can best create regenerative downtime is to start doing it. You learn how to do anything by experiencing it, not by thinking about it.
If you have been addicted to crazy to-do lists and busy-ness then your first downtime days might launch you into all out panic attacks. This is okay. This is why you only schedule a few hours at first. Don’t try to do it perfectly. See what delights you and what turns out to be a not-so-much delight.
The important thing is that you honor yourself enough to have total veg-out resting moodling delighting fantasizing creative regenerative time off.
Add to del.icio.us
Stumble It!
Subscribe to this feed
Digg it
|
Comments:
Share this Article:
|
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey, love this! I love the list of what we’re NOT allowed to do on our time off. When I get a few hours of down time, especially if the kids aren’t home, I get so excited sometimes with my few hours of freedom that I can’t decide what to do! Should I nap, go to the bookstore, take a walk…it goes on and on until I’m wasting my precious time. Great suggestions, thanks! (i love the fast boat feeling too. When you’re going so fast you can’t hear a thing and your smile is plastered to your face with a force like you’re re-entering the atmosphere!)
thanks I’m chronic email checker blog looker.. I need help … infact I’m writing this comment when I said to myself I’d go next door with my coffee and write in my journal !
But despite that can I just put in a good word for downtime/off time. I try and practice Artist Dates from Julia Cameon’s book The Artits Way ie one to two hours a week doing something fun alone. If possible more than once a week. The secret is that the MORE you give yourself some fun the easier it is to do your to do list. And do the fun stuff first not as a reward or you never get to it.
Ok journal coffe and cake !(Homemade of course – practially a heath food)
Like “m” above, I am always “connected” to my email. I carry it with me!! So, getting to an “unconnected” state would be a great way to get some downtime for me. I’ll probably pass on the trashy romance novels!! But a hike in the woods, that sounds great…
This really reminds me of a family vacation we took this summer, unlike any other I have been on. We went whitewater rafting for four days in northern Idaho. As our kids said, it was the middle of nowhere. And that’s what made it so great. There were no cell phones, no computers, to tv’s, no houses, no roads. Only the river and the rolling hills/mountains around it. Four days of total relaxation. Sleeping under the stars (they are so bright without the glow of suburbia). Playing horseshoes. Rafting. Hiking. It was four days of “roughing it”, but more than that, it was four days of just getting away and relaxing. And we all came out refreshed and with a new perspective on life.
Thanks, Christine, for the reminder to schedule some downtime in our lives. I tend to overlook this too often. Or, make downtime too cluttered with other daily commitments…that could easily wait for a later time.
My husband and I go out and enjoy Asheville every Saturday night. I so look forward to it. And… I take a couple hours alone before we go out to nap, read, listen to music or just have a glass of wine in front of the fireplace. I love my Saturdays!
Thank you Christine! I also love the Not-Allowed-To-Do list! I actually enjoy yard work. For years I’ve been trying to come up with a way to make inside house work be as enjoyable!
Last year I figured out if I turn off the computer I got extra time in my day! Recently my son missed a practice because I hadn’t seen the last minute notice via email. I explained that my computer was turned off and that I only check emails at certain times during the day. The coach was dumbstruck because he’d never heard of such odd behavior! I was the only parent that hadn’t checked email on a Friday evening.
I’m a big believer in time off and how necessary it is for making our productive hours more productive. I’ve always tried to keep Sundays for just this purpose, but since I moved in with my fiance at the beginning of the year, I feel like I should make sure he’s okay with the downtime I choose. He likes to run errands/go to the gym on weekends, so I worry that he’ll be resentful of my “just sitting around.” Part of the challenge is that because of an eyesight condition, he can’t drive, so I kind of have to be involved in the activities he wants to do.
However, I am reminded of a previous post of yours about teaching other people how to treat you. That definitely applies to my right for downtime. Communication is a magic tool that’s just not used often enough, huh?
In response to Sue, sometimes that happens to me and it’s almost like I feel ‘buyer’s remorse’ over my down time – like whatever I picked, there was something else that I didn’t pick. Does that ever happen to anyone else? I’m not sure if the solution is to vary what I actually do more or just relax around it and be okay with whatever I picked, even if it’s not perfect.
Hi all! Thanks for the thoughts!
Christi – This is actually why it’s great to plan your downtime in advance a little bit. It prevents that voice from piping up to tell you that you should be doing something else. When it’s planned in advance, it’s almost like telling that voice “we got this one covered, thanks.” Try it!
Christine – that makes a lot of sense. So you’d schedule the time and the activity ahead of time, and then it’s just on the calendar. Thanks.
christi – yea — that voice, that “you should be doing something else” mindset can only be strong if we aren’t giving it “instruction.” (ie. “this is when I get to play. this is when I do my writing.”) It’s not to say that the voice won’t still make attempts – but you’ll find that defining the parameters works wonders!
i have the greatest work schedule, work 4 days and off 3. i try to make one day just for errands and then i get to PLAY for 2: take naps, sit on the deck to watch birds, horses, sit on the deck when there are no birds and just listen to the quiet.
christine, somehow i never figured you for a fast boat person.
thanks for the post. bb