Have you ever had this happen?
You mention the name of someone you admire. And the person you’re talking to says, “I heard something about her.”
She goes on to share an unflattering story of failure. Or a moment of excruciating vulnerability. A peek into the soul of someone who, for some reason, is supposed to be invincible because of her current success or notoriety.
Whenever someone shares a story like this with me, I always take a deep breath.  Then, I remind myself of a few things…
“¢Â that our heroes, our coaches, our mentors should have all kinds of stories of failures and vulnerability. (Otherwise, how can they help us in our moments of weakness?)
“¢Â that I honestly don’t want to learn from someone who hasn’t been a total train wreck at least a few times in her life!
“¢Â that the current success this person enjoys was obviously a daily choice to keep moving in spite of this moment of said vulnerability or failure.
“¢Â that people (Martha Stewart comes to mind) can quietly show us that if they can succeed in spite of hideous situations, then I can certainly get through my own little glitches!
“¢ that there are probably more people than I care to count who could share MY train wrecks in similar gossipy conversations. 🙂
Remember this:
When you expect a successful person to have done it all perfectly, then you set yourself up for lots of disappointment.
Nobody does it perfectly. And the people who figure that out and move forward anyway are the ones who become heroes!
Amen!
Hi Christine,
What a great outlook and how inspiring you are, what a reminder for me that we are not perfect and when we fail we just have to pick ourselves up and keep on keeping on.
Happy Birthday, today is my brother’s birthday too:)
I read that it is your birthday, so happy birthday =)
What a great take on things, Christine. I can’t really say that I have one person I look up to in this way. Rather, there are several people who inspire me. Stories of the difficulties they’re endured usually just make me like them more. Another thing is that when we seek out the faults in others, I feel like it sometimes says more about us than them. Thanks for sharing this. Always good to remember that nobody’s perfect (and why would we want to be?!).
I once read a warts-and-all profile on Madeleine L’Engle, one of my favorite writers, and instead of turning me off it was a huge relief. I was so heartened to know that even people who put amazing miraculous things into the world have flaws and blind spots. Because that means that even I, with all my warts and flaws and stuff, have a shot at putting amazing things into the world too.
Love, love, love, love, love this! 🙂
It seems there is always someone around who will gladly reveal the deficits in another person’s abilities. We should celebrate those who have tried and failed – and tried again. Thank you for the reminder to celebrate those who have continued on their path, however imperfectly.
So perfect this day!!!!!
Thanks Christine! Sometimes I need reminded that each day is about creating an abundant purposeful life, not a perfect life. Sometimes, as you would say, “the dirt comes up.” Remembering that nothing and no one is perfect keeps me sifting through that dirt. Plus nothing gives you more “character” than a little dirt and imperfection. Thanks for your inspiration!
I am glad you clarified this idea. It was not until I heard a “Miss Perfect” in my life say she is afraid of public speaking, that I could relate to her as a human being. We were both better off for it because we got to have a real relationship. We got to learn from each other, respect each other, help each other, and laugh together. Knowing just one vulnerability opened up a great relationship for us we may not have ever had.
Ive been teaching a yoga class for four weeks and just held my first women’s retreat. The value of imperfection is so integrated into by being that I, this once very shy girl, can stand before a group with ease, love and eagerness to serve. Thank you for introducing me to the word “imperfection”!
I love this post. I mentor my clients and yoga students this way by sharing my personal trial and error experiences. We all get a big laugh at it all! Thank you for your infinite wisdom, I appreciate you!
Thanks y’all! Your comments always make me smile as i read them. And kathy, I LOVE that you are aware of your own “wrong reasons” for not being perfect. So cool to move out of that “reactive” imperfect – to “proactive” imperfect. (uh-oh – i feel a blog post coming on!)
And Tonya – thanks dear! 🙂 You made me all teary.
Thank-you for a new insight to ponder today. I have had plenty of train wrecks of my own to learn from and hopefully the wiser for now.
I’ve run from the perfect thing all my life. Oldest of four girls, parents who pushed perfection…..you know the drill. I rebelled by being a procrastinator, a messy person and eating to excess to put my stake in the ground that I am not perfect and tell the world. Although I’m still working to clear these bad habits which were created for the wrong reasons …. at least now I recognize them! Imperfect action has moved me so far forward in my writing career that I’m finally learning healthy ways to harness the energy. Thanks to mentors like you and the fabulous Tonya Leigh, and thanks to all those great role models out there like Martha Stewart and all the others who have successfully overcome these things in themselves I’m taking steps to understand the thoughts that drove those bad habits and create much healthier new ones that are serving my essential self so much better.
I tackled my need to be perfect in my first coaching session, and wonderful things have happened thanks to that session and to my willingness to let go of perfection and allow myself to be who I am, and make mistakes.
It was so liberating!!! I made a small carboard plaque with positive affirmations – such as It’s OK to be imperfect, It’s OK to make mistakes, I’m allowed to make mistakes, I give myself permission to have fun and make mistakes, and more. I keep the plaque on my desk, and I make sure I read it every day before starting my day. It works 🙂
I’m sure there are people who consider me a train wreck, but I’m learning to understand that that’s just their opinion, and it’s OK.
Your post hit the nail on the head for me. Martha Stewart IS one of my hero’s for exactly what you describe. Her grace and class in the face of her ordeal is an inspiration. Good post!
Oh my goodness…just what I needed to hear this morning (or read!) Thank you.
This is why I adore you. This is why I’m working with you this year. This is why I’m not afraid to be imperfect. Merci!
Thanks for this Christine! People consider me to be a train wreck, yet I have learned SO much from it all. I really do feel like I am a better and wiser person than I was in my earlier days. Success for a train wreck is a much harder won prize!