Comments on: Jealousy and Envy: How to Deal and Heal http://christinekane.com/blog/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/ Be Creative. Be Conscious. Be Courageous. Fri, 12 Mar 2010 22:02:55 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8 hourly 1 By: Marie Boxworth http://christinekane.com/blog/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/comment-page-1/#comment-338054 Marie Boxworth Thu, 25 Feb 2010 16:59:29 +0000 http://christinekane.com/blog/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/#comment-338054 I found this article helpful because I have a friend who is jealous of me. I am never sure what is ok to say or not to say to her and I am tired of trying to protect her feelings, when she makes nasty comments to me about the very things she is jealous of me about. It's very frustrating. We attempted to lose weight together and be accountable to each other, I lost 16 pounds she lost none and hates me for it. Doesnt want to hear about my success. Well its not my fault she failed, she put the food in her mouth and she didnt work out. I worked damn hard! She should be proud of me not bad mouthing me to co-workers, or better yet say nothing at all. Why should I try to build her up when she puts me down? She critisizes my relaitonship with my spouse ( I have never been happier) and she is miserable with her partner (she tells me all the time). I seriously can't win with this girl!! I found this article helpful because I have a friend who is jealous of me. I am never sure what is ok to say or not to say to her and I am tired of trying to protect her feelings, when she makes nasty comments to me about the very things she is jealous of me about. It’s very frustrating. We attempted to lose weight together and be accountable to each other, I lost 16 pounds she lost none and hates me for it. Doesnt want to hear about my success. Well its not my fault she failed, she put the food in her mouth and she didnt work out. I worked damn hard! She should be proud of me not bad mouthing me to co-workers, or better yet say nothing at all. Why should I try to build her up when she puts me down? She critisizes my relaitonship with my spouse ( I have never been happier) and she is miserable with her partner (she tells me all the time). I seriously can’t win with this girl!!

]]> By: Dude http://christinekane.com/blog/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/comment-page-1/#comment-293344 Dude Sat, 24 Oct 2009 02:53:12 +0000 http://christinekane.com/blog/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/#comment-293344 I'm always paranoid that others are envious of me. I'm trying to find out more information on this but most people are envious/jealous of others, which to me seems a bizarre emotion because our self-worth is gauged by God nobody else. I'm always genuinely happy for the successes of others. There are a few reasons why I think this emotion is wrong: 1) comparing people is like comparing bananas, oranges, and apples, etc. God gave all of us different qualities, temperaments, skills etc. and this diversity makes humanity beautiful. 2) our own successes, skills, qualities etc. can be developed infinitely when we look upwards towards God and not horizontally towards others; looking horizontally is a fast way to retard your own progress as well as make yourself miserable, 3) the whole purpose of our existence is to worship God with what we've got, and if we have God, we have all things, and if we don't have God, we don't have anything, even if we possess all the treasures in the world. I’m always paranoid that others are envious of me. I’m trying to find out more information on this but most people are envious/jealous of others, which to me seems a bizarre emotion because our self-worth is gauged by God nobody else. I’m always genuinely happy for the successes of others. There are a few reasons why I think this emotion is wrong: 1) comparing people is like comparing bananas, oranges, and apples, etc. God gave all of us different qualities, temperaments, skills etc. and this diversity makes humanity beautiful. 2) our own successes, skills, qualities etc. can be developed infinitely when we look upwards towards God and not horizontally towards others; looking horizontally is a fast way to retard your own progress as well as make yourself miserable, 3) the whole purpose of our existence is to worship God with what we’ve got, and if we have God, we have all things, and if we don’t have God, we don’t have anything, even if we possess all the treasures in the world.

]]> By: mittu bandar http://christinekane.com/blog/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/comment-page-1/#comment-279698 mittu bandar Mon, 31 Aug 2009 05:46:17 +0000 http://christinekane.com/blog/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/#comment-279698 After a bad break up with a very close friend of mine a few months ago, I haven't been able to find peace. I'm glad I've discovered this article, because this envy has been slowly distroying me and has made me a weaker person I think. I just hope that I can get rid of it soon, or at least manage it better! Until 2 hours ago, I didn't even know what the meaning of envy was.. And when I found out what it is, and how much it described me, brought a tear to my eye & it's opened my mind & I feel better already.. I was never so madly envious until about 7 months ago, I was quite the opposite!.. It all started with hate, then jealousy, they envy(which is like a lethal mix of all of the bad emotions).. And because I now know, what is wrong with me; I'll hopefully be able to sort it out. Good luck to everyone who is dealing with envy, hate & jealousy, these are (IMHO) some of the worst emotions to get caught up in. Thankyou so much Kristine for sharing your knowledge here & helping us, you are a great person & I wish you every happiness, may Godbless you. After a bad break up with a very close friend of mine a few months ago, I haven’t been able to find peace.
I’m glad I’ve discovered this article, because this envy has been slowly distroying me and has made me a weaker person I think.
I just hope that I can get rid of it soon, or at least manage it better! Until 2 hours ago, I didn’t even know what the meaning of envy was.. And when I found out what it is, and how much it described me, brought a tear to my eye & it’s opened my mind & I feel better already..
I was never so madly envious until about 7 months ago, I was quite the opposite!.. It all started with hate, then jealousy, they envy(which is like a lethal mix of all of the bad emotions).. And because I now know, what is wrong with me; I’ll hopefully be able to sort it out.
Good luck to everyone who is dealing with envy, hate & jealousy, these are (IMHO) some of the worst emotions to get caught up in.
Thankyou so much Kristine for sharing your knowledge here & helping us, you are a great person & I wish you every happiness, may Godbless you.

]]> By: Vanessa http://christinekane.com/blog/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/comment-page-1/#comment-72224 Vanessa Sun, 23 Dec 2007 17:40:39 +0000 http://christinekane.com/blog/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/#comment-72224 Hi Christine, My problem is not being jealous or envious, but having to deal with others like that. I became ill a few years back and had to move in with a close relative, at first she stopped talking to me, then she started telling bad lies to others about me, after that she tried to destroy me by turning the little people that I had left against me. Well, I was still ill so I had to find someone else to live with so I moved. Now I have another problem with the much older woman that actually asked me to move in with her. Almost immediately she started watching and criticizing everything that I do, she tries belittle me at every opportunity and lastly talks to me like I'm stupid, and a child. At this point I have become leary of forming close relationships with other women and don't like it when someone I know points out anything about my appearance. I was already a conservative dresser, I have stopped wearing makeup and had to stop doing anything to make myself look attractive, trying to make the best of the situation. I've done everything that I can do at this point to make this situation better. I have absolutely no idea how to deal with this type of person. I am better and I have started to look for a job so that I can move out on my own. Do you know of anything that I can do to help my current situation. Help! Hi Christine, My problem is not being jealous or envious, but having to deal with others like that. I became ill a few years back and had to move in with a close relative, at first she stopped talking to me, then she started telling bad lies to others about me, after that she tried to destroy me by turning the little people that I had left against me. Well, I was still ill so I had to find someone else to live with so I moved. Now I have another problem with the much older woman that actually asked me to move in with her. Almost immediately she started watching and criticizing everything that I do, she tries belittle me at every opportunity and lastly talks to me like I’m stupid, and a child. At this point I have become leary of forming close relationships with other women and don’t like it when someone I know points out anything about my appearance. I was already a conservative dresser, I have stopped wearing makeup and had to stop doing anything to make myself look attractive, trying to make the best of the situation. I’ve done everything that I can do at this point to make this situation better. I have absolutely no idea how to deal with this type of person. I am better and I have started to look for a job so that I can move out on my own. Do you know of anything that I can do to help my current situation. Help!

]]> By: TY http://christinekane.com/blog/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/comment-page-1/#comment-52072 TY Mon, 29 Oct 2007 01:13:44 +0000 http://christinekane.com/blog/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/#comment-52072 This was a wonderful post that made me feel much better. I, unfortunately, am someone who takes jealousy to an obsessive level. I became extremely jealous of someone who was supposed to be my best friend when she started getting more attention than me. This ultimately destroyed our friendship completely. *sigh* I didn't really slander her or anything like that, but I'm sure I would have if I thought it would make me "win". OK, so those of you reading must think I'm a horrible person. Maybe I am. :'( But anyway, your post made me feel so much better. Thanks so much :D This was a wonderful post that made me feel much better. I, unfortunately, am someone who takes jealousy to an obsessive level. I became extremely jealous of someone who was supposed to be my best friend when she started getting more attention than me. This ultimately destroyed our friendship completely. *sigh*
I didn’t really slander her or anything like that, but I’m sure I would have if I thought it would make me “win”. OK, so those of you reading must think I’m a horrible person. Maybe I am. :’(
But anyway, your post made me feel so much better. Thanks so much :D

]]> By: Christine Kane - 5 Simple and Surprising Ways to Heal PMS http://christinekane.com/blog/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/comment-page-1/#comment-51438 Christine Kane - 5 Simple and Surprising Ways to Heal PMS Mon, 22 Oct 2007 04:09:06 +0000 http://christinekane.com/blog/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/#comment-51438 [...] Up8 Things You Get When You Order My New DVD21 Ways to Be More CreativeVision Boards: A Quick StoryJealousy and Envy: How to Deal and HealTake a Walk in Your Heart10 Random Things18 Stupid Mistakes Bloggers Make in their First [...] [...] Up8 Things You Get When You Order My New DVD21 Ways to Be More CreativeVision Boards: A Quick StoryJealousy and Envy: How to Deal and HealTake a Walk in Your Heart10 Random Things18 Stupid Mistakes Bloggers Make in their First [...]

]]> By: Yoni Goldstein: What's happening to Avril Lavigne? - Avril Lavigne Bandaids: The Best Damn Fansite http://christinekane.com/blog/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/comment-page-1/#comment-39703 Yoni Goldstein: What's happening to Avril Lavigne? - Avril Lavigne Bandaids: The Best Damn Fansite Sun, 15 Jul 2007 03:17:33 +0000 http://christinekane.com/blog/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/#comment-39703 [...] GLOBAL TRACK CHART Musicians Health links on the web: Jealousy and Envy: How to Deal and Heal Christine Kane - Jealousy and Envy: How to Deal and Heal Musicians Health: Self-Care for Musicians: Self Care for Musicians July 5, 2007 7:21 PM [...] [...] GLOBAL TRACK CHART Musicians Health links on the web: Jealousy and Envy: How to Deal and Heal Christine Kane – Jealousy and Envy: How to Deal and Heal Musicians Health: Self-Care for Musicians: Self Care for Musicians July 5, 2007 7:21 PM [...]

]]> By: Walks The Edge http://christinekane.com/blog/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/comment-page-1/#comment-34894 Walks The Edge Mon, 23 Apr 2007 18:29:58 +0000 http://christinekane.com/blog/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/#comment-34894 Hey Christine, this is my first comment but I've visited several times and really enjoy both your content and your writing style. Two unrelated comments- first, while I do sometimes experience a stab of envy, I always know this is my issue and put it aside so I can celebrate and truly be happy for others' successes. Because of this, I'm always taken aback when I discover someone else is resentful of my good fortune or accomplishments. Sometimes friends have dropped me and only later have I discovered that it jealousy was the reason. Do you have any suggestions for dealing with others' jealousy? Second, in terms of dealing with your own envy and jealousy, the Martha Beck made a great point in her book Finding Your Own North Star. What you envy can be a clue that can help you clarify your purpose/passions/desires in life. If I'm envious of Oprah, I may not necessarily be able to become just like her, but I can break it down and see that what I envy is the way she follows her own passions. Then I'm more aware of how important it is that I find a way to follow my own passions. If I'm envious because someone is a successful musician, I might take it as a clue that part of my dream involves creativity, music or just plain success. If we can stop judging ourselves for these feelings, they can become valuable sources of information, as all emotions are. Thanks for your great work! Hey Christine, this is my first comment but I’ve visited several times and really enjoy both your content and your writing style.
Two unrelated comments- first, while I do sometimes experience a stab of envy, I always know this is my issue and put it aside so I can celebrate and truly be happy for others’ successes. Because of this, I’m always taken aback when I discover someone else is resentful of my good fortune or accomplishments. Sometimes friends have dropped me and only later have I discovered that it jealousy was the reason. Do you have any suggestions for dealing with others’ jealousy?
Second, in terms of dealing with your own envy and jealousy, the Martha Beck made a great point in her book Finding Your Own North Star. What you envy can be a clue that can help you clarify your purpose/passions/desires in life. If I’m envious of Oprah, I may not necessarily be able to become just like her, but I can break it down and see that what I envy is the way she follows her own passions. Then I’m more aware of how important it is that I find a way to follow my own passions. If I’m envious because someone is a successful musician, I might take it as a clue that part of my dream involves creativity, music or just plain success. If we can stop judging ourselves for these feelings, they can become valuable sources of information, as all emotions are. Thanks for your great work!

]]> By: Tammy Vitale http://christinekane.com/blog/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/comment-page-1/#comment-34882 Tammy Vitale Sat, 21 Apr 2007 19:34:39 +0000 http://christinekane.com/blog/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/#comment-34882 have just discovered I can get here through googling you and then following one of those link. that makes today a very good day. =] have just discovered I can get here through googling you and then following one of those link. that makes today a very good day. =]

]]> By: mxphile http://christinekane.com/blog/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/comment-page-1/#comment-34877 mxphile Fri, 20 Apr 2007 18:35:33 +0000 http://christinekane.com/blog/jealousy-and-envy-how-to-deal-and-heal/#comment-34877 A lovely post, Christine, and I couldn't agree more with you. With regard to ml's comments, I too am not a jealous or envious person and I've experienced the same thing. My thoughts are, as a society, we are so trained to have a knee-jerk response of feeling envy that we *expect* others to respond to us this way. Maybe *not* reacting the way you are expected to is a breach of some kind of social contract that makes you fair game to those who find value in the cycles of envy and jealousy. In meeting strangers who have had good fortune, I've been honestly and openly happy for them. In almost all cases, I get a double take of surprise. In some cases, after the surprise has passed, the person is openly pleased and begins to talk more about their good fortune and maybe I've made a new friend. In other cases, the person is clearly uncomfortable and he or she doesn't know how to proceed. There are so many different personalities in this world and just as many ways of perceiving and interacting with events and other people. Just keep looking, ml, for friends who share your values and your world view. You may well be attracting jealous and envious people into your life. But as Christine pointed out, looking for the why isn't as important as simply recognizing that it happens and choosing to move in a different direction. There are a lot of good people out there who would feel honored to have you as a friend. A lovely post, Christine, and I couldn’t agree more with you. With regard to ml’s comments, I too am not a jealous or envious person and I’ve experienced the same thing. My thoughts are, as a society, we are so trained to have a knee-jerk response of feeling envy that we *expect* others to respond to us this way. Maybe *not* reacting the way you are expected to is a breach of some kind of social contract that makes you fair game to those who find value in the cycles of envy and jealousy.

In meeting strangers who have had good fortune, I’ve been honestly and openly happy for them. In almost all cases, I get a double take of surprise. In some cases, after the surprise has passed, the person is openly pleased and begins to talk more about their good fortune and maybe I’ve made a new friend. In other cases, the person is clearly uncomfortable and he or she doesn’t know how to proceed.

There are so many different personalities in this world and just as many ways of perceiving and interacting with events and other people. Just keep looking, ml, for friends who share your values and your world view. You may well be attracting jealous and envious people into your life. But as Christine pointed out, looking for the why isn’t as important as simply recognizing that it happens and choosing to move in a different direction. There are a lot of good people out there who would feel honored to have you as a friend.

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