My trainer pisses me off.
Her name is Kam. She puts these heavy weights in my hands and makes me push them in various different ways to build various levels of strength in my body.
That doesn’t bother me so much. I can play that game.
But just when I think I can’t push any more or lift another time, she says, “Okay, three more. You can do it!”
That’s when I decide to hate her. Sometimes I even spew mean things to her in between breaths. This only makes her laugh.
The truth is, I pay her to do this to me. Because this is when I would typically stop.
This morning it dawned on me during my work out that this moment – when I want to toss a dumbbell at Kam but lift the weight anyway – is what success is all about.
It’s about the uneventful little choice we make in the moment. Every moment.
It’s so typical to make success about the “there” we arrive at.
“115 pounds!”
“Best-selling author!”
“Billboard Hit!”
“A million bucks!”
“NCAA Champions!”
But the truth about success is that it’s really kinda boring. That’s because it’s not about the arrival.
Success is about the choices you make each and every moment.
Not each and every day.
Each and every moment.
• Push the weights up three more times when you’d rather be in bed.
• Write the next paragraph when the family is watching television.
• Sit with your guitar and a lyric idea when you have no idea of the outcome.
• Market yourself and your product consistently when you’d just as soon give up.
• Practice shooting three-pointers a hundred times each afternoon for 4 years.
A few years ago, I mentored a woman who had big dreams and goals. She’d mention a new idea on a call, and together we’d break it down into small chunks and do-able activities to help her create this new thing in her life.
But after a week, she’d get bored. Frustrated. She hated just sitting there writing. And research wasn’t nearly as cool as her imagined fame and notoriety.
She wanted to be THERE. To arrive in that glorious moment of success that is already guaranteed and sparkly. So, she did what most people do when they’re faced with their own illusions of what success should feel like.
She gave up. She went back to her self-created world view that none of “this stuff” works for her.
I was sad for her.
Not because I knew she could succeed if she put her mind to it. Not because of some grandiose outcome she’d never have.
But because she would miss out on the splendid truth of success: The miraculous boringness of it.
When I am succeeding, there are no cameras flashing.
When I am succeeding, there are no articles being written about me.
When I am succeeding, it is just me and my relationship to the moment.
This is not news-worthy. In fact, from the outside it looks downright boring. But on the inside, there’s an all-out ticker-tape parade in the streets of my head.
Because I am choosing to do what matters to me.
Because I am not listening to the gangs of critical voices that used to run my entire day.
Because I am willing to sit there in spite of not knowing the outcome.
This is the miracle of success. This seemingly boring choice in this seemingly boring moment.
What boring choices are you going to make today?
Add to del.icio.us
Stumble It!
Subscribe to this feed
Digg it
|
Comments:
Share this Article:
|
{ 1 trackback }
{ 45 comments… read them below or add one }
Brilliant, K.
This may be your best post ever.
Love,
Fran
This is exactly how I felt at my college graduation. There we all were, in ridiculous outfits, our families in attendance for the big celebration. But the real success was all the late nights and weekends spent working when there were so many other fun things one could be doing. No one was there to cheer for me every time I pulled yet another grueling all-nighter to finish an impossible workload. And yet after it’s over they want to celebrate? How boring!
Good timing for this one! I like this view of success, and reframing of the “boring” things in life.
My seemingly boring choice today is to stop browsing the internet (like… now.), turn off the TV (like…… now!), and work on my dissertation re-write.
I have printed this article out and keeping it close to me. At periods where I find myself thinking “Why isn’t this going anywhere?” it will be good to go back to it and be reminded that it’s not about the ‘getting there’ glory that matters, but the seemingly boring small things of the present moment that counts. That’s success.
I have gremlins in my head this week…so I will focus on the simple tasks like posting an item on Etsy that I have already photographed and edited, lay the background on a small simple piece of art, add tags to new items, pack for the craft show on Sunday, take photos of lovely dogwoods and azaleas in bloom! Try to relax and shut those gremlins up!
Hi Christine,
What really strikes me about this post is the part about recognizing your success; being in that space of succeeding. Call it reframing, acknowledgement, gratitude, whatever.
There are so many times that I need to stop and acknowledge that I am succeeding, right now in taking this action or accomplishing this piece of something.
I get in the habit of not giving myself credit for anything but accomplishing the BIG goal, rather than for incremental steps or just taking action, regardless of the outcome.
Acknowledging the small victories a successes has me in that gratitude or “I made it” state of mind all the time and creates the momentum to continually move forward, enjoying the journey.
Thanks for the post!
The thing that struck me the most about this wonderful article is the importance of recognizing, appreciating and understanding the value of each of the elements or components of what leads to a better/more successful/enjoyable life/career.
I liked being reminded of the importance of each small act — because without each of these building blocks — each of these habits — each of these commitments to ourselves and our careers — it is too easy to do what we have probably all done way too often: give up.
And as usual — this came at the perfect moment for me (how do you do that?)… so thank you for that too!
My boring plans today….I am going to mail my application to a new graduate program – a total departure from my past work, and everyone thinks I am a little crazy. I am going to mail my tax check. I am going to grade papers and spend time with my friend and my husband. I am going to take a little time for myself. And, all of those things, as boring as they may sound from the outside observer, wrap up so much success in their very act.
Thanks for helping me remember. It isn’t just about checking the next big thing off my to do list. It is about all the moments it takes to get there.
Ah boringness, you hit it right on the head. Today I am going to finish that base quilt and cut yellow strips for the next one. Boring, yes, but great outcome at the end
WOW! I think you described me perfectly. I’m trying to hard to not want it now and be “there” and to enjoy the journey. It’s a hard lesson, but one I’m working on every day. I never quite saw it put this way and you’ve opened my eyes to why it is I often fail or rather give up. Thanks!!
Christine, if we do find something boring, could it be an indication from the Universe that maybe what we are doing is not our calling, maybe we need to seek our soul’s yearning in another direction?
Beautiful insights Kristine. Thank you.
This comes in such a timely manner for me. I am starting a new work, so confirmation comes for me when you list your points. Write a paragraph when the fam is watching another show, sit down with guitar and write a lyric or two, create, create, create. The definition of success should be the result of creating, creativity and creation. Sort of like good, better, best. And when you arrive it’s time to start over again and find more to create successfully. Thanks for the post.
b†
Thanks everyone! When I read comments like these I think, “Wow. This is a blog post in and of itself!” So, those of you who are bloggers, feel free to take this idea and run with it. I’d love to read more.
Delightful Soul – EXCELLENT point!
The “boringness” I describe here is actually the stuff that’s not very exciting in the work you KNOW you want to be doing. (For instance, I hired my trainer because I KNOW I want to stay in shape, and keep my body strong because it makes me feel better emotionally in the long run.)
However, in music, for instance, I’ve always had to stay VERY present and pay attention to the signals from my body (and soul) that I was not in alignment with my deeper intention of HAPPINESS. So, this is where true awareness comes in. And that is so personal, and so much an integral part of the journey. (I’ve gone through with LOTS of stuff that I shouldn’t have gone through, in retrospect!) And at the same time, I had to go through those things to finally become aware of the things I needed to let go.
I hope that makes sense!
Success is definitely boring. Life is all about the climb, the drive, the quest. Once you get there, it’s kinda like, okay, what next? That’s why we always have to be ready to learn and experience and dive into new things. We (and our lives) are always changing.
Beautiful post, and one I really needed to read this morning.
“When I am succeeding, it is just me and my relationship to the moment.” I sometimes get the feeling that the secret to so much stuff is just Being Present. Of course, “just” Being Present is kinda funny, ’cause it’s one of the most disciplined things in the world to do, at first anyway.
Another gorgeous post, Christine!
Thank you for a wonderful post. I’m going to print this one out and read it often. I’m pretty good at doing the “boring” stuff except in the area of marketing/promotion. When I get a few rejections, I feel like giving up. So what one little boring thing can I do today to get my work out into the world?
On another post – The other evening I was feeling like I haven’t been doing enough to achieve my goals. Which actually isn’t true – I was just mentally beating myself up, out of habit. I got out my “I intend” list that I wrote in response to your blog post earlier this year. And I cheered up immediately when I saw that I’ve already accomplished some of them and all of my intentions are happening to some extent.
It is so much more powerful to say “I intend” instead of “I would like” or “I wish.” Thanks again!
Oh I know. I am currently planting the seeds of my ideas. It is work, it is boring. But it is also exciting in the sense that I know the sprouts will be great and seeing them grow will bring new things. So I do the boring stuff. Not always as fast and well as I would like, but I do it. It’s like going to the gym
when we’re in our genius zone, life is never boring. I try to stay in that zone as much as possible.
loved the post!
Giulietta
rebel at large
An awesome post!
I hear it talking to me VERY loudly. Staying present is a challenge for me at the moment and the ‘boringness’ (is that a word?) of getting ‘there’(wherever ‘there’ is) requires alot of attention and focus.
When things get ‘boring’ I can easily get distracted and take my focus away from why I’m doing what I’m doing in the first place.
Thank you for reminding me!
Great post! I often avoid the things that will probably bring the most success, writing great songs and creating great guitar lessons which can be boring or at least painful at times.
Christine, what a great post! I’ve extracted the final lines and printed them up with the title “The Miraculous Boringness of Success” and posted them to my Wall of Inspiration above my computer. Thanks!
I am going to have the most boring time working out today and working on some artwork for my blog. It is going to be a gloriously, boring process and I can not wait!
This was a great post.
Christine,
Very timely. I was musing on how important disipline is to the process of success. I used to have a personal trainer twice a week to work out with. I was in the very best shape of my life. Now…the work outs don’t always make the head of the list even though in my heart I really want them too. I just ended up sepending my time in other areas.I am less disaplined doing it myself. ANd of course it is true in other areas as well!
Thanks!
Oh man. I needed to hear this today.
I forget to congratulate myself for my little moment to moment successes: when I tell my ego to take a hike and say sorry to my lover, when I decide to study for my exam instead of watch American Idol, when I put out of my head all the minute things I should be doing on the house and instead stay with my six year old ten extra minutes at bedtime just because, when I don’t have a panic attack about where I am going to live, etc etc.
Each of these are little victories for me, and for no one else. They feel monumental to me.
Thanks for the reminder that success is in the journey, the little baby steps and not in the destination!
The first line made me lol.
The line, “Because I am choosing to do what matters to me,” is still ringing in my ears. Thank you!
Fabulous post. thanks. I needed to hear this just now.
Guess this came at the right time for a lot of us. Thanks again for keeping us (and yourself) on track. AND remember that backing off at the right time for a little meditative noticing is OK too.
Christine, you share the biggest truths in the simplest words. Thank you!
This is just magnificent! Truly
I love the way you see things! I have been struggling at work – not with the job itself, just with staying motivated and finding some satisfaction in the day-to-day. Bored? Maybe a little. But things are about to change – I’m getting a new boss in a week, after working for the same boss for 13 years. I have been working on thinking of it as an opportunity to incorporate some new ideas, some new ways of doing things, instead of being nervous or anxious about it. In the meantime, I had quite a surprise yesterday. All of a sudden there was a group of people standing behind me while I sat at my desk. The “interim boss” presented me with a special token of appreciation for keeping him (and others) on track and moving forward in the last 3 months that we’ve been without a boss. He made quite a speech, and I know it was heartfelt. I was so surprised and touched. That’s what I call success I guess!!
Thanks Christine,
This is one of the most missed aspects of success. Understanding that success is every single little move forward and that it is something that we can experience every day.
Wow Christine, this post is so powerful.
I hope I can live it.
I want to be making those small steps, not giving up before I’ve ever even tried.
I need to own my possibilities.
Reading and re-reading your words, posted on my board, may be part of this, if I can succeed in sticking with it.
Thank you.
I’m one of your phantom readers – a regular one. I don’t always comment because you receive so many comments and I’ve not a lot of “new” thought on what other persons have already penned. But I found your posts to be extraordinary. I had motivational training and eduction during my career as an executive in a large NYC corporation and found tremendous reward from those experiences.
I’m at a different place in my life from then and have found a world of creative encouragement via bloggers, retreats and workshops. I always find food for thought as well as action here at your site and through your Newsletter. Keep up the great work here, through your workshops and through your song – oh yeah, I’m one of your music fans as well!
Oh, and btw, my word for this year has been GROWTH and my little creative “wins” need more than fingers and toes to count! Thanks!
My life has been full of challenges over the last few months and one of them was the guardianship of my 17 year old nephew. I then realized that every time he thought school or success was “boring” and, it was, I shared with him that these mundane boring choices are the success and will lead him to his dreams. This article was terrific to share with him and let him know that others feel the same way! I, too, have come to realize that every step, no matter how challenging, is successful!
Thank you!!!
This is the most inspirational brilliant post I have ever read in my life. Thank you Christine.
You ARE amazing
Thank you for being you
Hi Christine,
I’ve been reading often, but not commenting. My life has been in upheaval, as you know. I am busy making those small choices. I get asked how I have survived the junk of my life and continue to go on, and I say it’s the small choices. The choice to get out of bed, the choice to continue breathing on those bad days when I’m feeling whiny and sad. The choice to go back to school and to facilitate a workshop on the Art of Extreme Self Care when I’m feeling more positive. Pain is a given. Suffering is optional. I’ll always miss my daughter, my husband, and others who have left my life, but to roll over and die too would just be a waste.
I love what you do. You touch my life regularly. Thank you so very much. You wind up on my gratitude list many days, and since I doubt you knew that, I’m clearing that up!
With my love,
Pam
Beautiful!
It was scary seeing huge list of calls to make in front of me ~ very boring too for me! But decided to continue the next day despite hating it 100%. I realise now after reading this post that, that decision was my moment of success. One more call and there was the gold.
Thanks Christine.
Love this. It is the consistent baby steps each day that lead to success. I remember Cynthia Kersey, author of Unstoppable saying that it is an unstoppable moment strung together one after another that makes for an Unstoppable life.
The beauty is the mastery you create along the way. I was reminded of this recently after taking a hiatus from playing my guitar. Once I got back in the swing I was reminded that it was the years and years of study and playing that allowed a lot to flow back quickly. This is good because when you’re playing for fun you don’t want to not be having fun by dusting the rust off old technique. It’s a muscle memory thing and the same holds true for athletes coming back from injury (done that too)…
Boredom can be a tremendous path to success as well as peace of mind knowing you have a system and plan for your success and are working it daily.
Thank you for that brilliant observation!
What well written and thought out blog posts. Being in a place of uncertainty in all aspects of my life, I am just in awe of how much I needed to find your blog and the wisdom written. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us.
I’ve been reading your blog on and off for several months now and each of your posts never fail to inspire me. This one in particular is very interesting as I have just started a new self-help blog and my favorite topic is SUCCESS. Like you, I am at that succeeding moment. I’d like to believe that I will be successful in the near future but right now, I am simply enjoying the challenges that come my way, the journey itself. The “arrival” will just be a bonus in the end.
Thank you so much for this inspirational and though-provoking post. I needed this today
Thanks for this post. So glad I found it – it served a huge need in my life…I don’t want to be like that client because I’m close to it (and that’s NOT OK!!!)