And I thought life was good, until a call from my sister in Denver that hospice had come in to take care of her, could I come be with her? My answer of course was yes and I took a train from the east coast to Denver. You can read the whole story at http://www.healinggardens.org. My sister was 56. Sitting next to your dying sister listening to her favorite cd John Tesh and the Power of Love will change your life.

I learned from studying performance psychology (self improvement…but those words scare most people) that if you change the way you look at things the things you look at change. And I took that a step further, whenever I face a challenge or an opportunity, such as my mother’s cancer or my sister’s passing I ask myself. What could be great about this? Obviously a difficult question in these circumstances.

But with that question I came up with answer I could view as positive. Since my sisters passing my wife and I have lost a collective 90 lbs in order to be healthier, I started a website to help others, healinggardens.org and I simply enjoy the simple things. My wife and I started riding our mt. bikes and kayking while enjoying the Bald Eagles flying overhead. We get bored with human creations such as technology or buildings, but we can sit next to the ocean or a small stream for hours or days, or watch live theatre or listen to music.

Maybe upheaval can mean “a breaking through” to new and unexplored possibilities, at least it does in my dictionary. Picture a volcano’s upheaval through the earth’s crust to begin to build a new mountain…….just my thoughts and as one of my mentors says…this information may be worth exactly what you paid for it…..nothing

I love # 1. I agree wholeheartedly. If we take responsibility we can have so much power.

Excellent post (as always). I always come to you for the philosophical outlook on life that so many people refuse to delve deep enough to explore.

truly,

Sylvia C.

“Only by learning how to let go do we learn how to hold on to what matters. It’s as though the shadows created by loss illuminate what remains; the contrast helps us see with great clarity and appreciation the things we were meant to do, the people who are still with us, and those we love deeply who also love us back.”

And to Michelle: you cannot change the man, you can only change your reaction or behaviour towards him. You cannot make him stop using. You can and should of course tell him what you think about it, what your standpoint is, but you should not ask him to stop. It’s like smoking, one needs to stop for oneself not for someone else. So let him know how you feel. Then it’s up to him to decide whether he values your opinion enough to change his behaviour. No matter what he does, you need to decide what it does to you and whether you can live with it. If not, then you can get out or change your behaviour. But you cannot change his. Good luck.

And another option: Breathe. Just stop. Don’t DO anything. See what happens next. Sometimes we rush in to try and recover, fix, undo, make better, etc. when what is most healing is to just step back for the time being.