Comments on: Upheaval: A Pop Quiz

By: stacey l

stacey l — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 19:59:30 +0000

I would definitely go through A and B and seriously contemplate D, enjoy my 3 weeks in Singapore traveling and seeing the country (hey why waste an expensive plane ticket) and then finally eventually get to C…ho hum!

By: MindFul MiMi

MindFul MiMi — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 12:47:36 +0000

My answer would be: none of the above. I would of course try to analyse the situation abit, but I would just up and enjoy Singapore on my own

By: Danny

Danny — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 00:58:04 +0000

To answer honestly, I woudl wallow in B for a while. Even if those aren’t the emotions that woudl be viewed by all those relationship experts and such as “healthy”, I truly believe that those things need to be felt in order to provide the contrast to find what I want (Thank you, Abraham-Hicks!). I would own that.

Over the next few days, I would be repeatedly reaching for that next better emotion and pulling myself together, while exploring the sights of Singapore. Upon my return home, I would be able to tell people what a great time I had in Singapore–and mean it.

By: NancyCz

NancyCz — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 18:13:18 +0000

I thought he left you in Africa! ;o)

By: Imelda/GreenishLady

Imelda/GreenishLady — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 14:55:20 +0000

Official answer: C

Honest answer: Mostly B with flashes of A during the first year; Then 2 or 3 years mostly B with occasional inklings of C-type thinking and feelings; and finally, by year 5, a C-state, with rare and brief moments of B or A. D features as fantasy only.

By: Stan Stamerson

Stan Stamerson — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 08:12:03 +0000

If he pays for the plane ticket and wasted time then cut your losses, otherwise they owe. They let you fly all the way to Singapore to find out? Horrifically insulting. Thats what the phone is for. They knew you would visit and they didn’t warn you until you got there. The desire for revenge would be great. $789.00 cheapest round trip ticket I can find. Nothing hurts more than humiliation and a little money loss. Of course Singapore is quite a cool place to visit. I suppose a break up is better than if they just pretend the whole time that nothing is wrong. Now you can actually enjoy it.

By: Diane

Diane — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 03:46:04 +0000

I liked that we didn’t know the gender of the dumper and dumpee! But since I’m a woman I was reminded of that Forester Sisters song “Men…Can’t live with them and you just can’t shoot em.” My boyfriend and I recently broke up after almost 18 months together. We care about each other but we are older (been through marriages and divorces) and our relationship was far from perfect. The thing that helped us both was the fact that there are 6 billion people on the planet! Why do we get so hung up on one person?! Like they are the only one on the planet we can ever love? I guess letting go is just plain hard. Thank you Christine for taking the time to write so often on your blog.

By: Christine Kane

Christine Kane — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 03:41:09 +0000

kathy – did he REALLY refer to flashdance??? that’s a BIG alarm going off right there! Did he want you to tear up your sweatshirts and go get a job as a welder? I’m REALLY stuck on that one line! And I’m glad you found David – who apparently loves you even though you don’t weld! Hooray for C!

thanks lainie! I hope the next two posts will help in this one too. I do know that it can’t be about “trying to be gracious.” It’s deeper than that. If I had tried to be gracious, I would’ve grown fangs. I think it’s about turning inward and filling that void with your own love…

By: Lainie

Lainie — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 23:42:38 +0000

This is a tough situation. I look forward to your next post! I guess I’ve been there too in a way. Time has not healed much, though I try to be gracious and wish him well. He recently married his sixth wife — I know, I know. But for me, the door closed and the window never opened, and that’s the hardest thing for me to understand. I hate to admit it, but B is the place I usually end up. Your last post was quite illuminating, actually, about the way I must have been asking to learn about love and opening my heart, but it came in a very hard package. I look forward to hearing your story of getting to C. Thanks always!

By: Kathy

Kathy — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 22:41:15 +0000

C but it takes a long time to get there. it was kentucky, not singapore, and I had just arrived for two weeks of blissful togetherness – intending to move the relationship ahead before I headed off to Omaha for 4 years with the USAF. The trip was my parent’s graduation present to me and all I wanted. In the parking lot at the airport he broke the news that he just couldn’t do it anymore – that I wasn’t like what’s her name in flashdance who would sacrifice everything to get what she wanted. I still don’t know what that means or where that came from. Do you get on the plane and go back home? Or do you stay for two weeks of torture hoping he’ll change his mind when he sees how great you really are? Yup I stayed. But the second week of it we were both volunteer counselor’s at christian camps for kids – he was at a guys camp, I was at a girl’s camp where the other counselors were friends of his. I don’t know if was stubbornness or what but I wouldn’t go home. The camp counselor thing turned out to be very healing for me – the other female counselors were great and supportive and loving showing me there was life outside of my relationship with Steve. We were all contributing our efforts towards giving underprivileged kids a week they’d remember the rest of their lives. There was a good few years after that where I “hated him” and commiserated with friends who’s bad mouth him with me….but without him I’d never have had that broadening experience with the kids setting me up for the rest of my life in such a profound way. And without that kick in the pants I might never have held on tight to my independence until the right one – my wonderful David – dropped in out of the universe. So C is it for sure!!