Word of the Year: Courage

Note: December is Word-of-the-Year Month at Christine’s Blog.  As we roll into another New Year, each day will feature a new guest blogger who chose one word as a way of setting intention for her whole year.  Today’s guest is Lisa Call. More about Lisa below.

COURAGE!

I’m Not That Kind of Girl

When I first saw the information for Christine’s Great Big Dreams Retreats I thought with a bit of regret, I’m not the type of person that does things like this, and went back to my very busy life. Female bonding and getting all touchy-feely was not my thing, being the ever so competent INTJ.

Upon recommendation from friends, the internet and the universe, I listened to the book Eat, Pray, Love in the summer of 2007 and, like so many other people, it had a profound impact on me. I realized I was not living the life I wanted, yet I had no idea how to create the life I wanted. I wasn’t even sure what that might be. I was just sure it wasn’t what I was doing.

Taking a Leap

That fall my father passed away and a long term relationship came to an end and I was exhausted. It finally pushed me over the edge and even before selecting my word of the year, courage, I took a huge leap and signed up for the December retreat.

I thought, maybe if I were the type of person that did these retreats I would have a life I liked a lot more. Unfortunately I learned the single room I had wanted was sold out.

In an act of pure clarity (and a lot of experiences I did not wish to repeat), I declined the chance to attend and share a room with someone else and asked to be put on the waiting list for a single room, of which there are only 2. At the time I didn’t realize my chances weren’t all that good for getting this, I just knew what I needed for the retreat to work for me, and I knew I needed to attended.

So I was very happy, but not at all surprised, to get an email a few weeks before the December 2007 retreat that a space was available.

I am that Girl

So off to Asheville I went, and not only did I survive my girl bonding weekend, I loved every minute of it. It wasn’t nearly as touchy-feely as I feared and I was welcome to be whoever or whatever I needed.

During that amazing weekend I had one aha-moment after the an other. Yes, I could indeed create the life I wanted, as I now had a treasure chest of tools to help me do just that.

I started by setting aside my usual beginning of the year ritual, that of setting dozens of aggressive goals and jumping in getting things done, and instead I choose just a single word to focus my year around.

Courage

I selected Courage. Courage to slow down. Courage to listen to myself. Courage to find my feelings. Courage to listen to the tiny voice that was my true desires. Courage to follow my dreams no matter how foreign the territory or scary the path might be.

I’ll be the first to admit, 2008 has been an incredible fabulous year for me. I thought of my word often and have managed to free myself from many of my old limiting beliefs. Every day I choose to create and live the life I want to live.

The list of positive changes I have created in my life over the past year is astounding, from health improvements, to an upcoming amazing vacation in Africa, to deeper and closer friendships, to an art career that turned a profit for the first time ever. I could write for pages on all that has come about this year. But this is a blog and I’ve already rambled on for longer than recommended, so I’ll just touch on one which took great courage.

Leaving the Burbs

One of the first things I tackled upon arriving home was to declutter my house. I rather smugly sat through the discussion of clutter during the retreat thinking I had very little. When I got home I discovered I just had a really big house to hide it all in. Clutter was everywhere. Er oops.

No wonder I was stuck. Did I really need a box full of 18 year old hand made mints from a marriage that ended 7 years prior?  Tossed were the ski equipment, racquetball, scuba diving, etc, etc, etc. I gave away furniture, clothes, toys, keepsakes. I tossed it all. (Although I admit I kept the frog made out of icing that was on my birthday cake when I was 8 years old because you never know when a 37 year old amphibian made of sugar and fat will come in handy. Don’t tell Christine.)

After a few months of freeing myself from things that only served to drain my energy, I found the courage to admit to myself that I didn’t want to live in this big beautiful house anymore. The suburbs no longer appealed to me and it was simply too large.

I had always been afraid to admit this because the thought of moving was too daunting. As the house emptied out, it became very doable to pick up myself and my 2 kids and move to the city, close to both my work and their school.

So that’s what we did. In early April I talked to a real estate agent and 2 months later I had the house fixed up and ready to hit the market. I told her repeatedly the house would sell in 1 week or less, and yes, this was during what was supposedly a very difficult housing market.

I learned my lesson in 2007, getting really clear about what I wanted resulted in it manifesting, be it a single room at a retreat or a fast home sale.

So that’s exactly what happened. The house sold in 1 day and after a bidding war, sold for substantially more than my asking price. So much for the buyers market.

A few days later I found a small house within walking distance to my kids’ school and we moved at the end of June, less than 3 months after first having the thought that it was possible. I’m a 3 on the enneagram – the achiever – I don’t just sit around and wait for the universe to do it’s thing, I take action and help it along.

Dream Home and Studio

I first told myself this was a temporary move and after the kids were out of the house I would move again, because I could not afford to live in Denver long term. I stopped telling myself this story when it was clear I didn’t want to live in a 900 sq ft house with no studio, even temporarily.

That took about 5 minutes. Who was I kidding, I was not going from a 600 sq ft studio to a non-existent studio so I could claim some virtue about living small. I had this idea that I would find it easier to start selling and marketing my art if I had a tiny house, cause I’d look more like I needed money.

That’s crazy. I sell my art because it provides value to the world and people connect to it, it enhances their lives so they want to own it, not because I live in a small house with bad electrical and broken plumbing. I can’t create the art I want in that environment.

So enough playing small, I had the courage to admit I wanted a bigger house and I hired a contractor to build me my dream home and studio. Why wait? I could have both the art career and the cool house and big studio if I wanted it. And so that is exactly what I am doing. I found the courage to admit I deserve it and to take the steps necessary to make it happen.

Looking Forward

I haven’t selected my word for 2009 yet but I’m pretty sure it will either be Expansion or something similar. This year was amazing, I can only image what next year will bring.

Lisa Call’s blog is:  http://blog.lisacall.com
Photo journal of construction of my studio: http://lisacall.smugmug.com/New%20Home%20-%20Studio%20Construction

Tagged as: Personal Growth, word-of-the-year

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