Note: December is Word-of-the-Year Month at Christine’s Blog. As we roll into another New Year, each day will feature a new guest blogger who chose one word as a way of setting intention for her whole year. Today’s guest is Laura Mixon. More about Laura below.
The Shocking Truth about Being Organized by Laura Mixon
The first thing I want you to know is that it really is true that when you’re ready to learn something, the teacher appears.
I have no idea how I came across Christine’s blog, I think I was googling “inspiration” the last day or so of December. I had just gotten through my first Christmas as a divorcee. It was not the happiest of Christmas celebrations, and my kids were away spending time with their dad. On top of that, I had recently moved and changed jobs so I was newly adapting to too many changes. And did I mention that I really don’t like cold weather?
So feeling dreary and sad, I found Christine’s blog and her article about selecting a word to guide you, rather than making a list of so-called resolutions. I knew immediately what my word for 2008 would be.
Before reading further, you need to know that what you’re about to read is sensitive. If people refer to you as a “neat freak” or any such synonym, please do not read the rest of this post. You will be enlightened in a way similar to what happens when people find out that their beloved house pets are considered gourmet delicacies in other cultures.
This message is for non-neat freaks. Dear messy friends, you’re about to learn the shocking truth about being organized.
You see, when I was growing up, my mother was ALWAYS on my case about my being messy. So it came as no surprise that I should marry a wonderful man, a summa cum laude neat freak. Just to give you one example, he washed the car’s engine every week. And during that 20-year marriage, I was able to keep my innate disorderliness mostly under control. But now, I was on my own, teaching two classes at a local university, writing a dissertation, doing occasional translation and writing jobs, homeschooling my two daughters, and that was before I started my blog.
Here is a picture of the sign I made to inspire me through this year:
Having this sign on the wall next to my computer served to transform my ideas about organizing. I did not read anything about “how to get organized,” I simply started doing it. I discovered that I had been operating under the auspices of two organizing myths and now I recognize how these beliefs were keeping me DIS-organized.
Myth #1 – The Sisyphus Model of Organization.
As you recall, Sisyphus was, according to Greek legend, punished by King Tartarus. His punishment was to push a huge boulder up a mountain, and then it would roll down, and he would push it up again. This punishment was to last throughout eternity. Like many Greeks, I felt like getting organized was a super-human task that once complete, would be totally undone and you would have to start at the bottom again. Just thinking about it made me tired.
The reality is organization is something you work on a little bit every day. It is never completed; you will never have everything perfectly organized. But being imperfectly organized on a daily basis literally allows you to multiply your productivity…and do more fun stuff.
By getting myself organized, I was able to start writing a blog in February. By May, I got someone to come in and help. My organizing sister threw out tons more stuff, and got me baskets and a file cabinet. I felt soooooo organized that I thought I had done it, I had actually become an “organized person” and I threw away my sign. Within 24 hours, I had retrieved it from the trash and re-taped it to the wall.
Myth #2 - My grandmother is messier than I am.
I was not happy to find out that my son failed a Calculus exam. He got a 64. When I asked him about it, his defense was, “My roommate got a 53.” Ouch. Painful because it reminded me of myself. You see, for all my messiness, I could always console myself that my house was never as cluttered as my grandmother’s.
The truth is it doesn’t matter how other people’s operations are organized. You organize to help yourself find things easily.
The good news is that getting organized is a habit and as you get better, you somehow find more areas to organize. You get used to seeing clear spaces where you used to have piles of things. You also learn to overcome fear by throwing out things you think you might need in the future. It becomes almost automatic.
Selecting a word to guide you for the year is like choosing a theme for your life, for a time. This theme may take a back seat to another one next year, but you can always play it again.
Create more. Communicate better. Visit http://www.mixonian.blogspot.com
Laura offers presentation skills coaching digitally and in person.
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{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
Your post has inspired me to see how much of an organiser beast lies deep down in my belly. Like you, housework in my mind is an occupation for Sisyphus. Thank you for pointing out the ridiculous this idea is. I’m going to start with one surface at a time. All the best to you and your children in the holiday season.
Hi Laura,
Whata great post; funny and insightful. This post and the letting go post have really resonated with me. Hmmmmm….maybe I should rethink my word for 2009! Thanks-Tracy
Seeing your comment about your grandmother’s organizational skills brought me a real chuckle this morning as I recognized that thought pattern.
When I started the organizational journey in my own life, a timer became my best friend. It kept me on task 15 focused minutes at a time and rewarded me by bringing the onerous task to an end before I was burnt out.
Hi Laura,
Relate big time to everything you write here. Have always been labeled a messy person and experienced similar mother rants to clean up. Smirks at work, etc. Like you say getting organized is a series of small changes. Congrats on accomplishing that and starting your great blog!
Since I’m all for being authentic, I would like to add that being messy is o.k., that it might just be part of our nature and maybe we move to a different organizational beat. The ironic part is that when I clear out and/or put things away, I look around the room and often feel like it belongs to someone else. Has that ever happened to you?
thx G., Genius Chick
Oh Laura, Talk about the teacher appearing!
Your post is encouraging to me. The Sisyphus reference is spot-on for how I have consistently approached getting organized. After a lifetime of being messy, and many false-starts in getting organized, I have made some good strides in recent weeks. And it feels great! When I look at my few, small, organized spaces, I can’t help but take a deep, peaceful, cleansing breath!
I am looking forward to moving forward on this front in the new year, baby-step by baby-step. And Debi, thanks for reminding me of the timer idea!
Wishing you continued peace and joy, Meg.
Thanks, everyone, for your kind comments and solidarity.
Iilalia – I am comforted thinking that maybe ancient Greeks had the same problem with all-or-nothing thinking…maybe they had clutter as well?
Tracy – maybe you could do a major word, and a minor word…? I posted my “organize” little poster, I made it with an index card, into my journal.
Debi – I like the idea of a timer. Otherwise, it can become overwhelming.
Giulietta – you’re right in that no one will ever mistake us for neat freaks. But clutter is a monster that needs continual taming. My grandmother has a huge house FULL of stuff…we don’t want to go there, figuratively speaking.
Meg – Yes, that inner teacher won’t be quiet. De-cluttering is a process; today I’m excited about deleting around 2,000 emails….I don’t even think I’ll miss them!
I LOVE this post! My spirit looooongs for organization, but getting organized just seemed too mountainous a task (Myth #1). A little bit each day – that I can handle. I also love the idea of fewer piles (oh the piles!), less fear, and more fun. Thank you for sharing. I have a feeling this will work its way into my year with the word Clarity.
“getting organized is a habit”
“you will never have everything perfectly organized”
“being imperfectly organized on a daily basis … allows you to … do more fun stuff”
“seeing clear spaces where you used to have piles of things”
“overcome fear by throwing out things you think you might need in the future”
-Messy Friend
Hi Laura,
I love your sign, and it’s so telling! I hope you don’t mind me doing a little interpretation — it’s just so interesting. You are very creative and it’s hard for you to cram your creative energy into these structures set up by other people. You start off following their rules but because your creativity is bigger than the space that you and others allow it to be, you try to squeeze the large “I” and “Z” in there and tie a pretty bow “e” at the end hoping that would hold it all in. That’s just what I see. Maybe a creative outlet to direct all of that energy would be helpful.
Dear Messy Stephanie, I totally empathize!!! Thanks for all the wisdom imparted. Having clean and clear spots and surfaces feels sooooo good.
Elisa — you’re right on….my creative energy does have outlets, but the messes (my dear ex-husband used to call them my “nests”) must be dealt with or they take over your life!!!
Laura,
Bless You! I can really do a number on myself b/c I STRIVE to be
organized. And possibly I haven’t given it enough thought to WHAT
IS THE WAY I organize and tidy up. Living with my DH and kids I
do have to allow them some space but that doesn’t mean that I can’t
put limits on where there stuff comes into my space and I can gladly
return it to them.
Yep, I’m one for striving for more Clear Space in a very chaotic universe.
I am so going to start calling my messes “nests”. I come from a long line of packrats and clutterholics. Funny, but I was always able to be super organized at work but my own home got neglected. Your post is inspiring with good tips and I think I can be more organized now if I do it for myself and not because of the opinions of others. My word for 2009 is a lot different than organize but I think this inspiration will stay with me. Very creative little poster too.
Kate
Hi, Eden! What you wrote is bringing to mind the idea that maybe neatness is all relative (surely Einstein would agree!) So, if you can bring a little order to the chaos, you will gain power over your space. BTW, now we all know….we’re not alone in our nests.
Dear Kate, I have the same lineage, so messiness comes honestly. Calling the messes “nests” has a rather nice, environmental ring to it, don’t you think?
Yes, it does seem to be inherited, or at least an acquired taste.
When we sold my parent’s home there were cartons in the basement from their parents and relatives that had been passed down undisturbed since the mid 50s.
On the shelf over the refrigerator were pieces of old art glass that were never used. When I was about 17 or 18 my mother pointed at them one day and declared that I was to never let the P__s get them because they were given to us by her great-grandmother. It’s a terrible legacy because they are ugly, worthless, and not in usable condition; and cutting off my own arm would be easier.
But clutter is starting to wear on me even though most of the clutter is unpacked boxes because in six years I still haven’t moved into this house and I will be leaving it this year.
Hi Laura,
Ouch! This one stings – because it’s also an area I struggle with. I can be organized mentally, usually. Yet, in the physical – things just seem cluttered. Ouch! And your example of your grandmother being less organized – I understand this all too well. It’s become easy to say “well, it’s not as bad as …”. When the truth is, that’s not even something we need to compare to. It’s about what works for us, individually. Thank you, Laura, for sharing your word (and making me really think about organization in my own life!).
Hi, Deb! The legacy of the boxes….now that’s a challenge; it almost sounds like the title of a movie. Maybe you could “forget” to bring them with you when you move, although that would be passive/agressive. You’ll find the solution!
Lance, thanks for writing. I do think the whole organized business is a continuum, and that we are more organized than some (thank God!) and less organized than others. But, as you write, that’s totally irrelevant. Maybe the whole core to the issue is decisiveness, we don’t organize b/c of all the decisions that need to be made. However, being more organized may mean being more focused.
Thanks so much for giving me hope Laura! It seems like I’ve been trying to get my home organized for years now. Some days I feel like that is all I do yet the house doesn’t look any better! I’ve donated, had garage sales, given things to friends and neighbors and I still seem to have too much stuff! Years ago I even took a job at the Container Store because I thought being around organization would help me. I wonder if I’m just too left brain?! Am I just not wired for organization? It is still a goal and you have inspired me. Thank you!
Wow – it looks like all us messy folks are Christine Kane blog fans! Chalk me right up there as one of the messy ones. My files are organized – when i get to the filing. And every now and then I clean all the rest up when company is coming. but when we cleaned up this last time for the appraisal I decided I really like it like this! And am making a concerted effort to keep it this way from now on. More later on whether I’ve been successful. thanks for a great post and the inspiration to continue.
above all, what I took from this post was the very valuable reminder that we have to live our lives for ourselves, not based on or compared to someone else’s.
wonderful post.
A woman told me after hiring her first cleaning lady, she has no dust. It was then that I learned I have a silly belief. If I am at that place in my life where there is no dust, life will be pitifully dull and not worth living. While I KNOW this is silly, the fear of getting to a perfect dull place of orderliness is still greater than my desire to be neat and orgainized.
My word for this year (I started early) is S T R E T C H. It helps me stretch out these silly beliefs and fears so that they are no longer such tight, hard and fast rules in my head to follow. Rather, they are widened to obseve and question. My hope is the one about orgainization that keeps snapping back into a tight irrational and stupid fear will lose its will to do battle with me and I will be a more productive, happy, fearless, orgainized person who would rather be dustless than disorganized.
Thank you for your post. I will be sure to check your blog out!