How to Interrupt Your Old Food Patterns - Christine Kane

Today’s post was written by guest blogger, Sue Ludwig. Sue is the President and Founder of the National Association of Neonatal Therapists. She is also a consultant to neonatal intensive care units around the country, a national speaker, and a published poet. She lives in Ohio with her husband and two children.

It was a Wednesday.

I had just walked in the door from work. My kids were getting off the school bus at any moment.

I was stressed. So, of course, I looked around for something to make me feel instantly better. Suddenly, I recalled my purchase of one slender bag of barbeque potato chips.

Once again, the Gods of Salty Snacks were there to save me!

Problem was, in my desire to smother my stress I ate half this bag of chips in about 10 minutes. (Did I mention it was a slender bag?) This frenzy was followed by a cycle of guilt and regret, with a sprinkle of self-loathing.

I’d love to say this was only about the chips. I’d love to say this cycle was unfamiliar. But I spent years during my teens and early twenties submerged in anorexia, then bulimia. I’ve long since healed from this. And yet, here I was engaging in these old behaviors.

When I realized (mid-slender-bag) what I was doing, the committee in my head went something like this:

“REALLY? Really, is this where we are today? Are we back in this place?!!”

The “this place” to which they refer is my old “food habits” stomping grounds. A veritable Big-Box Store of behaviors, foods and emotions. Aisles upon aisles of poor decisions waiting to happen.

“This place” even has greeters.

They wave me in. They know me. I have a membership card.

You have these places, don’t you? Your own Big- Box Stores of emotional ruts, brain wiring and experiences. Maybe yours are around food or exercise, alcohol, work, relationships, or spending money. The list could be endless.

Do yourself a favor.  The minute you walk through those doors, give yourself permission to leave. Even if the greeters are happy you’ve returned. Beating yourself up for finding your way back just feeds the cycle.

Here are a few ways to interrupt those old patterns:

1 – Do one small thing that changes that cycle or pattern.

On that Wednesday, instead of becoming frustrated, throwing in the towel and just finishing the whole bag, I stopped. I folded the bag neatly and threw it away. It’s amazing how much your pattern doesn’t like new things. It shatters the whole plan. (This makes the greeters grumpy.)

2 – Become your own observer.

In the midst of the frenzy, the observer part of my brain tapped me on the shoulder. I call this “clarity.” Clarity holds a nonjudgmental mirror to my behavior. It made me recognize I was in my “˜food place’. This is half the battle.

3 – Decide to focus forward.

When we’re in moments we’re not very proud of, we tend to really wallow in them. If we’re gonna fall off the proverbial wagon, we may as well go for it, right?

Sometimes I give myself a literal time limit for the wallowing. “I just need 5 minutes here”¦wallow, wallow”¦ then I’m letting it go.”

It can really be that simple. The rest is just our story. Then take one step forward. See the humor. Laugh at your stuff. Forgive yourself. Keep moving.

For me, that meant I still went to the gym and didn’t punish myself. I just went. I didn’t slip into eating unconsciously for the rest of the day or week. I just ate what was normal for me.

I shared this during a coaching call with Christine – including my frustration and humor, knowing she’d been there, visits there, and can relate. We laughed. A lot.

This doesn’t mean we skate through life without these momentary lapses. It means that it’s never about perfection.

It’s always about growth.

And saying no to your greeters.

21 COMMENTS ADD A COMMENT
  • Fawn

    Oh, I wish I could say I can’t relate, but I can. That moment of clarity, as you call it, Sue, is critical point. We either slide down into that desperate bog, or pull ourselves toward progress. Thanks for the great post!

  • Annette

    Perfect timing. I actually had an flash of consciousness earlier today when I looked in the mirror and thought “this body has done such a great job of taking care of you, what have you done to take care of it?” I put down the soda (which is my slender bag of chips) and went for a jog:-) Now, if only I can learn to hold onto that gratitude for my body, I’ll be able to nurture it and feed it well.

  • mia

    This post ROCKS, Sue. It is spot-on observation-wise and entertaining, to boot. You nailed it! THANK YOU.

  • brojoe

    As always, great post Sue.

  • Briana

    What a wonderful, honest post. I used to think being healed meant these patterns would never, ever show up again. But of course they do, in new ways. After all, they’re patterns 🙂 The difference for me is, like you said, going back to the gym or back to other healthy habits, and not punishing myself. And the observing, the observing makes all the difference! Thanks for this!

  • sue

    Wow! Your comments are so great. (Christine has the most amazing readers!) All of your stories reinforce that we are all the same here…regardless of what our ‘thing’ is, like Angela said, we can relate, and move forward.

    Thanks for taking the time to share. Many of you made me lol. 🙂

  • Tonya

    Sue-

    You are so right. Being able to observe yourself is half the battle. And it’s a place where much healing can begin. Thanks for such a great post that reminds us that we are all human, and we can all continue to move forward!

  • Angela Rockett

    My favorite part of this essay was when I realized I could apply it to other areas of my life. Like this morning, this very moment when I’m having trouble getting to my art studio – again. Instead of letting that dictate the rest of my day, I can step back, allow myself a few minutes of wallowing in how disappointed I am in myself that I didn’t just sprint there upon waking, then I’ll let it go and get to it. Thank you!

  • Eva

    Great post Sue! Especially timely after finding myself at the Costco of “woe is me” and walking out without latching on to anything!

  • Mindful Mimi

    Hi Sue,
    I appreciate the wallowing part. I greet that 🙂
    It is never easy to break patterns, especially one’s who’ve been around a while. But it’s with little steps that we get there.
    Thanks
    Mimi

  • Sam

    Wow, Sue, Thank you for this post. Next time I arrive at my mid-afternoon job and go for the case of little potato chip bags, I’ll have something to say to the greeters! I have been a non smoker for 35 years and the tobacco greeters still beckon every once in awhile, but I think they’re getting bored because they get no reaction from me anymore!

  • Kathy

    Perfect timing..Today is the day I said as I went to the grocery store. Passed by the usual one serving snacks that I pick up and say ‘It’s just one serving” Started to go to McD’s and drove passed and made my way home with only the items on my list. Came home to check out Christine’s blog and there you were. Thank you, Thank you!!!!

  • Kathy

    oh those salty snacks! Always my downfall too. Don’t get me wrong, I love dark chocolate too but when it’s a comfort food eating experience I “need” it’s the “Gods of Salty Snacks” I go lookng for every time. Thanks for the post, Sue. I agree with Lynne that your writing style is magnificently clear and seems to reach through the type into my soul. And I am happy to report that we have rid our home of the salty snacks so temptation isn’t looking me in the face every moment of the day. They come back in around holiday time but this year, I am ready to face them head on!!

  • Lynne

    Love this, Sue! Have I told you lately how much I love the way you write? Your voice is so clear and compassionate — and like you note, that clarity and compassion is what we need to bring to ourselves in order to move forward from wherever we are. This is a terrific reminder of that. Keep writing, girl!

  • Hayden Tompkins

    For me, it feels a lot like a one night stand! Satisfying or exciting at the moment, but heavy with regret and recrimination just as soon as I’m finished.

    Changing my relationship with food is like trying to quit smoking, except you don’t actually have to smoke to live.

    I think I’m going to start with telling myself it’s OK to leave food on my plate.

  • Emily

    Great post, Sue!

  • Anna

    Love the notion of the “greeters”…love the post! From one card-carrying big box member to another, thanks for sharing.

  • Tracy

    What a powerful post this is for me today; completely applicable to other issues. Thanks, Sue!

  • Chrissy

    Great post – very well put.

  • Kelly – Sister of another mother

    Suze,
    Great post. Thanks for pointing out we all have those ‘greeters’ but that we can change the plan. I am going to mull on that a while. I am beginning, through your guidance, to laugh at my desire to be a perfectionist. Letting it go is a beautiful thing, so freeing. Love you!

  • kathleen

    Oh how well I relate to this! I spent the better part of 15 years completely CONSUMED by addictive eating patterns which are now happily well and truly behind me – but there are DAYS when I feel as though I am right back there… But I think the key difference now is my level of awareness – instead of drwoning myself in self destructive behaviour I now have an ability to observe, decide, change, forgive, move on – steps which you have so clearly and beautifully summarised. I still long for the time when I am completely ‘free’ but it is great to know that I am not alone in my relapses. Thanks for your insight and humour.