How to Make Your Life a Drama-Free Zone

Written by Christine Kane

{39 comments ... read them below or add one}

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July 6, 2009 at 10:01 pm
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{39 comments ... read them below or add one}

Lance July 6, 2009 at 5:23 am

Wonderfully done Christine! You did marvelously on your first vlog!!

I find my best moments, the moments where I’m most connected to my soul – are those where I’m focused on what has deep meaning for me. And those moments are never reactive. Those are moments where I’m intentionally focusing on what matters to me. For lack of a better word, in a proactive state. Reactivity is a place I try to avoid. Of course, there are moments. The truth, though, is that these moments are not a good place for me to deeply connect. And that has become such an important part of who I am, and what makes life so worth living – it’s about getting to that spot where I feel in touch with a deeper side of me.

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Lynne July 6, 2009 at 6:03 am

It’s so interesting to me how all of a sudden these flashes of understanding will come to me — all because of one little thing that’s said… in your vlog you talk about making your life a masterpiece… and that was such a powerful phrase for me this morning!

It’s not like the light wasn’t on before, shining on the meaning of the concepts of intention, attention, elimination, decision, etc., but there was something about your words about creating a relationship with your songwriting that made me realize (I mean, really got it) how I can apply that relationship-building concept to several areas of my life — especially with those areas where I have been doing a lot of avoiding/procrastinating.

Thanks Christine!

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Christi July 6, 2009 at 7:28 am

Thank you so much, Christine. :-)

I was feeling like I’m at a place in my life where I don’t have momentum…but after listening, I realize that I have been working hard at eliminating the unhealthy ‘stuff’ from my life…now I just need to move forward into focusing on where I place my attention. Thanks for yet another a-ha moment.

Question…I signed up for the e-zine, and I’m receiving the e-zine and I really like it. I never received the e-book on Vision Boards or “Right Outta Nowhere,” though. Was I just too early or late to the party? I’d really like the e-book, so please let me know if I can pay for it if getting it for free’s not an option at this point. Thanks.

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Rhiannon July 6, 2009 at 7:52 am

Congrats on your vlog debut :) I’d definitely agree that less drama creates more space – and it also feels so calm and pleasant :) Love the Alexander GBell quote- I walk past his birthplace most days, so will give him a little wave :)

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Deborah Wolfe July 6, 2009 at 7:53 am

Thank you, Christine. Great ‘vlog’. Thank you for the gifts, as well.

That thing about ‘attention’….so true. I finally quit avoiding myself and twirling like a dog trying to hollow out a place to sleep, the result being intensely ‘attending’ to a new way of creating artwork. Needless to say, my skill level has exponentially expanded. I’m still working on the ‘skill set’, but practice, practice, practice….and then you soar.

Thanks!

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Christine Kane July 6, 2009 at 8:13 am

Lance – that’s a beautiful way to put it. Love what you wrote. When that reactive stuff DOES come in – i always try to stay in a place of responsibility and power – knowing I can always change my own state and judgment!

Christi – send an email to info at christinekane dot com — my team will make sure you get both of those things. not sure exactly what happened there!

rhiannon – that’s one of my favorite quotes too! Say hi to ol’ alex for all of us!

yes, deborah! It’s all about the practice and the commitment every single day!

Thanks y’all!

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Positively Present July 6, 2009 at 8:37 am

You were great! :) I love this topic. I’ve spent a lot of my life dealing with a lot of drama that could have been avoided should I have made different choices. You’ve addressed a very important topic here and you’ve done a wonderful job of it. Bravo!

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Barbara July 6, 2009 at 9:39 am

Thank you very much for all the things you share. And for the gifts – which indeed they are. Many blessings!!

Barbara

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K. Henderson July 6, 2009 at 9:39 am

Time for me to tell you my pet peeve. Not everyone (including me)has a computer that is fast enough to play videos. So if you just told me the secret to Life the Universe and everything, I missed it.

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Kathy July 6, 2009 at 10:04 am

A very thought provoking post for me this morning. On one hand I kind of agree with the woman in your session that said drama makes life interesting. Living life without emotion would be very sterile. My dad – of German upbringing – advocated showing only all the happy, none of the negative emotions… and even those happy emotions in a tempered way. Some of his favorite sayings were “Children should be seen and not heard” and “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” However he was outnumbered by a wife and four daughters who laughed, giggled uncontrollably, fought, threw tantrums in public when something wasn’t going their way, cried, screamed, laughed some more and emoted all day and all night. Drama? You bet! As the oldest, I was more the instigator than the emoter – provoking that reaction I knew would be coming from the younger siblings and cousins.

But I realize of course that this isn’t the kind of drama you are talking about now that we are all adults. It’s all about balance, as you point out. I do believe that it is tremendously important to cultivate the child within and really allow yourself to experience things rather than bottling it all up, writing it all down in a journal to get it out or whatever other way you can find a release for the “drama”. Otherwise, the creativity of which you speak couldn’t flow. But allowing the negative to consume you and keep you from doing things or turning it into drama that negatively impacts others around you is equally as harmful. So thanks for this post and the chance to muse on this topic this morning.

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Christine Kane July 6, 2009 at 10:30 am

pp and barbara – thanks!

k. — no secrets to the universe! (well, maybe just one or two.) the article in my eZine will cover lots more detail!

kathy – yes, that’s true. emotion and drama are definitely not the same thing! (part of this video that had to get edited out cuz of the roofing noise was a discussion on the difference!)

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Cheryl July 6, 2009 at 10:56 am

This is a truth I am slowly coming to realize. And as I let go of the drama and choose to not participate in it, I am finding that I am losing my “friends”. This in itself is causing my own inner drama! LOL. I do know that it is for the best because when one door closes another opens. I hope to attract more authentic, real friends as I become more authentic and real myself.

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Catherine Cantieri, Sorted July 6, 2009 at 10:59 am

I *love* the way you pointed up to the box! :-)

I subscribed to the e-zine last year and got a few issues (which I put in a folder in my email called “Wisdom”), then for some reason they stopped. So I guess there’s no better time to restart my subscription!

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sue July 6, 2009 at 5:05 pm

Love the vlog! I had never heard that quote before. Perfectly illustrates your point. One of the most helpful things you’ve taught me about drama is that part about ‘my truth’- being aware of when I am doing that and when I am being ‘handed’ that from someone else. That awareness makes it so much easier to see it objectively for what it is and let it go.

It’s been a gift. Thanks for reminding me of this!

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Ann Strong July 6, 2009 at 5:11 pm

Christine, congratulations on an insightful first vlog! And, without the drama of roofing noise!!!

I really appreciate your distinction between emotional reaction and truth. Just because my emotions may be true to me in a moment, it doesn’t mean they are Truth.

I’m at a place in my life of practicing acknowledging and allowing the emotions without having them run my day. More consciously choosing – as you said, “attention” – what I’m focusing on.

Lance, thank you for mentioning connecting deeply from what matters on a soul level. To me, that is my favorite, most peaceful-alive place, rather than the tormented-alive place of the drama!

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Jeri July 6, 2009 at 7:20 pm

Super-duper-cool blog today, Christine. I LOVE the idea of saying “no” to our knee-jerk reactions. Difficult work, I have to admit, but I feel so much better when I don’t identify with that stuff.

P.S. Are the chords to “Right Out of Nowhere” on your Backstage Guitar Lesson DVD? I’d really like to learn how to play it.

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Anna Garrett July 6, 2009 at 7:35 pm

I’ve gotten to a place where drama no longer has a place in my life (25+ yrs in the making). All I can say is thank YOU!!!!

One of our mutual friends said today that I could be a walking billboard for Uplevel Your Life!!!

;)

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Deanne July 6, 2009 at 7:47 pm

This was a great first vlog. Like the birds chirping background. I recently was reminded of how I’m starting to say no to drama in a very simple way. By filing receipts into envelopes/categores I can easily lay my hand on them when necessary, and cut out the drama of the clutter search. Cheers!

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Pamela July 6, 2009 at 8:45 pm

That was nice – but I get more out of the typed words. I print them out, read them a few times, share and discuss with my co-workers and save them to read again when I feel the need. This was hard because I am never all by myself and someone keeps talking to me and I had trouble really getting it. I look forward to the e-zine. I loved hearing the birds in the backround and I really like your hair like that.
Also, when is your CD being shipped out? I can’t wait.
Pam

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jeri July 6, 2009 at 11:06 pm

Question about the DVD answered when I realized there was a description in the “store” section of the site. Thanks anyway :-)

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Christine Kane July 7, 2009 at 7:55 am

thanks everyone! great additional thoughts!

Pam – I’m sending out a special video message via email today for all the people who ordered the CD. (it’s shipping early next week. the manufacturers messed up the booklet – so it got delayed a week! doh!)

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Heidi July 7, 2009 at 6:50 pm

Hi There!
Thank you for your vlog today! I appreciate all the comments and courage shown responding to drama in our own lives. I struggle, in varying degress, with the “losing of the friends” once you start to live more intentionally, authentically and drama free. There is still a “pull” there. I miss the “security” and sense of belonging. It is sometimes difficult to navigate people and situations where this lifestyle is not understood or embraced. Any suggestions?

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Maggie July 7, 2009 at 11:20 pm

Hi Christine and friends!

This was great, I loved it. There is something about your voice, when you speak, that is very wise and comforting. I love listening to the teleseminars too…

When you don’t need the space in your life that was previously filled with drama, wonderful things have the space to move in instead…very neatly ordered Universe in my book.

So Christine, any late breaking news on your fabulous concert event? Inquiring minds want to know! :-)

Cyber Hugs to all from Maggie in Miami

To be happy at home is the ultimate result of all ambition ~ Samuel Johnson

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Stephanie July 8, 2009 at 10:12 am

This wasw delightful! What a terrific vlog. No one would ever know it was your first!
So much of what you say rings so true (cliche alert, but heartfelt!) How did you learn so much while still young? And when will your music bring you back to Ft. Lauderdale?
In Peace,
Stephanie

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Tracy July 8, 2009 at 1:35 pm

Hi Christine,
Okay, that was completely bizarre to have my blog post appear in your comments. I don’t know how I did that, but sorry! I just meant to link to your vlog from my blog. I am a bit web challenged, but this is a new level:-)

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NancyCz July 8, 2009 at 5:44 pm

I watched the vlog the other day at the office… and shared it with some wonderful women who, like me, are thinking drama should be left behind in the teenage years yet we still find ourselves getting caught up in it. Today, though, I was actually trying to get to the lyrics to “Fall From Grace” (yes… to this day, with every fabulous song you’ve recorded it is STILL my favorite) and when I click “view” I get the vlog. I’m getting a gigantic kick out of this because at least in my interpretation of that song, it’s all about drama :) Also, since this comment is completely random so why not risk it by going off the charts with randomness: I was out at my mom’s and she had her iPod on in the house on shuffle. “If I Were Me” came on and she gave me the strangest look. Since the day I got the album I always thought it was, “Every day it’s her boss behind her: bad breath on her shoulder blade.” Whoops!

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Andrea July 8, 2009 at 5:59 pm

Thanks Christine for ezine and vlog…loved seeing your face and hearing your voice and reading your words.
I am in the midst of clearing out family history drama from the attic of my mind. It is so freeing. (My mother’s memorial service was June 28 and my sister and I cleared out her condominium in 2 days to prepare to rent it before the service). Touching all the objects that had “drama” content….realizing the curtain on THAT drama is closed and could even be rewritten or even, blasphemy, ignored. WOW!
I had been making some very clear rapid decisions and thanks to your words (in all forms) I realize my intention has been to become drama free in this area of my life. Many thanks for your clarity on this.

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Christine Kane July 8, 2009 at 6:34 pm

heidi – my experience with that is that it’s a lack-mindset. “there’s no one else who will be my friend.” So we tolerate a whole lotta drama from a whole lotta people. A friend of mine recognized this and started affirming, “I am surrounded by people who love me and support me.” (this is a big issue when people really get clear during the UPlevel Your Life program – so you’re not alone. Sometimes saying no means that people go away.)

maggie – we’re still planning the event. probably end of the month will be all the details!

stephanie – i learned so much from being said drama queen and deciding to get over it! :-)

tracy – that happens automatically. it’s a pingback. (and it’s a good thing! it’s just a cool connection, that’s all!) Thanks!

nancy – i’ve heard that same thing from lots of people about If I Were Me.

So, where are you clicking “view” — on my CD’s & Lyrics page? Just know that we’re in the process of website re-design and overhaul – so that could be why!

thanks andrea!

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NancyCz July 9, 2009 at 7:55 am

Yes, it’s when you click “view” for the lyrics. But, if you click “view” for Off the Ground you get all of the songs listed. Either way, I enjoyed watching it again :) Excited to see the webpage re-do!

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Ursula July 9, 2009 at 12:23 pm

Great vlog, Christine – what a good start! This is my first visit to your blog, and I wanted to take the opportunity to thank you for your Uplevel your Life program, which I’ve worked through once and am on my second round. It’s amazing the shifts in perception that I’ve already had about some situations in my life that have caused difficulty. I’m currently lurching along a little bit, as my 15-yr old dog is in his last days, but I feel that I’m well on my way to upleveling. Excited to hear your call on Friday about upleveling my business, and thanks again for your gift to us.

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carrie July 11, 2009 at 2:42 am

Love it! Thanks for your first ever Vlog, Christine… well done!

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DianeDoodles July 12, 2009 at 10:40 am

Thank you so much for sharing “Making Your life a Drama-Free Zone”,
Excess drama does clutter and steal our creativity.
Blessings,
“doodles”

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Sue Sullivan July 16, 2009 at 7:20 pm

I loved your first vlog. It’s so nice seeing you. It adds to my experience of what you share.

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L.A. Linda July 18, 2009 at 10:51 am

Oh, I did enjoy your first Vlog! What a great idea :^)
Love this topic, by the way. I can go drama-mama when I allow the situation to take over me!

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Shawn B. April 20, 2010 at 8:34 am

I was poking around the internet and came across your vlog. Never heard of a vlog until right now. Love it! I’m being brought into the technological age a bit kicking and screaming…but acceptance I believe is a big part of making your life a drama free zone.
Thanks for the insightful post.

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