Readers Poll: The Uncoolest Song on your iPod

Written by Christine Kane

hannah-montana3.jpgSo, there I was.  At the gym.

I had my iPod on while lifting weights.

Suddenly, this guy was standing next to me looking like he wanted to talk.

I pulled out one ear bud and smiled at him.

He said, “Are you Christine Kane?”

I told him yes.

He said that he’d seen me perform and that he wanted to say hi.  We talked a little bit about music. I thanked him for introducing himself, etc.

Then, as he was walking away he said, “God, it’d be cool to see what’s on your iPod.”

And I smiled.

When you’re a musician, everyone thinks that you walk around listening to Miles Davis or Bjork or Phillip Glass, lost in your own tragically hip taste in music.

Only here’s the thing:

As he said that, I was putting my ear buds back in to hear Ton Loc singing Funky Cold Medina.

And here’s the other thing:

Funky Cold Medina is not the uncoolest song on my iPod. (Now, an iPhone.)

This week, I was panting away on the elliptical.  And, well, I’ll just go ahead and admit it right here…

Hannah Montana’s I Got Nerve came on and pretty much made my morning. (I turned my iPhone face down so as to hide her picture – lest anyone else who had “seen me perform” was nearby.)

I have musician friends who would crawl under a rock and die before they’d admit to some of their uncool iPod songs. In fact, most of them would mock me to no end for what I’ve written here.

So, I thought I’d open this one up to you, dear readers.

What is the uncoolest song on your iPod?

{132 comments ... read them below or add one}

Musiclectic August 11, 2008 at 5:11 pm

I’m uncool enough to not have an IPod. I’m also uncool enough that more than half of the music I like, I have on tapes or records so it would take too much time to move it all to an IPod. But, if I did have all the music I like on one:

“Can’t Smile Without You” by Barry Manilow,
“Achy Breaky Heart”
I love “We Built This City on Rock & Roll” which often ends up on lists of the worst rock songs ever.

Thanks for posting the Hannah Montana song – it’s fun!

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Rhiannon August 11, 2008 at 5:13 pm

Well I think most of my ipod music would fit into the “uncool” category…but the one that I would keep the most quiet about is “Dragostea din Tei ” otherwise known, apparently, as the “Numa Numa” song. I’m sorry…but it makes me think of a sunny day dancing by the Black Sea……

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Caren August 11, 2008 at 6:07 pm

alyson – Uncool? You’re breakin’ my heart! Those aren’t uncool! How ’bout a little Shaun Cassidy – Da Doo Ron Ron

And this one’s not on my iPod – but I left a phone message for my boss, Ben, the other day – I sang him Michael Jackson’s song “Ben”. I knew every. single. word. I didn’t even know I remembered it! Just started singin’, and there it was. I LOVE the line: “Ben, you’re always running here and there. You feel you’re not wanted anywhere…” Ummm… Ben’s a rat! LOLOLOL I remember being SO moved by that song. tee-hee

Also not on my iPod, but I sent the iTunes track to my sister to make her laugh: Seasons in the Sun by Terry Jacks We used to LOVE that song.

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Kathy August 11, 2008 at 7:06 pm

I’m so uncool I don’t even HAVE an ipod. But after seeing all the uncool songs I COULD have on there, I am reconsidering asking Santa for one. “we had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun…….” now it’s stuck in my head!!

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Jannie August 11, 2008 at 7:22 pm

I guess I’m the only one in America without an iPid yet.

But if I had one… the coolest song would be “Right About Now– Funk Soul Brother.” (Chemical Brothers?) And maybe the dorkiest would be Paul Simon’s “The Arc Of A Love Affair,” which actually is pretty cool too.

Jannie

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mka August 11, 2008 at 8:06 pm

I love this – what fun! That dance album that Cher did in the 90s (hangs head in shame) and some Julie Andrews – a broadway album and a Christmas one (Julie is totally cool though and she’s singing again after 12 years, isn’t that great)!

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mka August 11, 2008 at 8:09 pm

PS Taylor the Latte Boy is awesome.

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Mark August 11, 2008 at 8:15 pm

I was just in a coffee shop and the Bee Gees’ “Too Much Heaven” came on. I was like “Holy crap this is beautiful and I’m going to add it to my list of uncool songs on Christine’s blog.”

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Andi August 11, 2008 at 9:32 pm

Funkytown by Lipps Inc?

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Amylia Grace August 11, 2008 at 11:54 pm

“Pieces of Me” by Ashlee Simpson and “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mixalot, but I think Mixalot is “cooler” than Ashlee Simpson!

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Amylia Grace August 11, 2008 at 11:55 pm

P.S. I thought if you had an iPod that automatically made you “cool,” despite your possibly “uncool” taste in music and TV shows! Shows what a dork I really am, I guess! ;)

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Lynne August 12, 2008 at 12:09 am

Hi Christine,

LOL, too funny. Hmmm…maybe I don’t have a really uncool song on my iPod afterall. (after reading all of the above)

This song might be considered uncool by some. It’s a country song by a band that I had never heard of but downloaded a portion of it several years ago and actually I’ve always really liked it. The bad thing is that I’ve looked several times and can’t find the original singer/writer or their website.

Here is the portion of the song that I have. If anyone recognizes the lyrics and can send me to their website, I’d like to read more about them again and possibly buy the CD with this song on it.

He spent his days with horses
His nights with Rosa Lee
He spent his pay on whiskey
That was made in Tennesee

As I was growing up
He spent a lot of time with me
Once I asked him about cowgirls
He just grinned
He said, Son, I know horses like the back of my hand

And he said, some were born to run
Some will stomp you just for fun
And some have got the devil in their eyes
Well there’s some that you can trust
But some will leave you in the dust
And the wild ones will tear you up inside

But you’ll always remember the ride

Thanks!

Lynne

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deb August 12, 2008 at 12:13 am

first….to the person who listed “taylor the latte boy” by kristen chenoweth….i have that one too and LOVE it! (ha) love to sing along with it.

i’ve got tons from musicals. (wicked, sound of music, evita, hairspray, spamalot, les mis….you name it, i’ve probably got it….even the music man.)
(by the way, i still worship at the feet of julie andrews too.)

i have tons from the 80s and tons of pop and even some natasha bedingfield that i love.

but i bet i’ll win this one.
because i was raised (ouch) on southern gospel music.
actually, it served me well it my life. it’s the way i learned how to hear harmony at an early age (comes so easily now that i had no idea it was a talent). it’s also the way i learned how to sight-read (for church….i’m a p.k.)

so yeah.
i get these nostalgic moments sometimes.
and i actually have some southern gospel on my iPod.
(strangely enough, this in no way reflects my actual religious or political views. really. i’m serious. please don’t judge me based on my strange guilty pleasure music on my iPod)

so i’ll raise you anything listed above as a “guilty pleasure” with a…oh…let’s say…southern gospel a cappella song by the martins.

(seriously. i’ve never admitted that to anyone!!! ha)

all the best!
deb

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deb August 12, 2008 at 12:16 am

and jennifer? wicked?
i’ve got it DOWN…..anything with idina or kristen in it.
and i’m in.
;-)

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Dana August 12, 2008 at 12:21 am

Okay. It may be cool to some but to my family and friends they think Shania Twain’s “I Feel Like A Woman” is uncool. And I love it!!! Especially at the gym. She makes me want to move. And those people around me start to question my sanity because I start singing along with her.

Dana

P.S. Amylia, I’m with you. Who cares? I just love that fact that you can mix Hip Hop, R&B, Rock, Classic, and Oldies and let her rip.

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Sabrina Morgan August 12, 2008 at 5:11 am

Hmm… Salt ‘n’ Pepa on my nonPod (sansa), pretty much the entire Hot Cool & Vicious album. It makes me feel twelve again, but in a good way.

It wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t singing along at the top of my lungs, driving around with the windows down and car dancing…

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Jennifer August 12, 2008 at 7:56 am

Deb….you are a woman after my own heart with your musical collection. I just listened to some of Avenue Q this morning on my commute into work! That is my dream show right now – meaning, I want to BE in the show.

Oh, and Abba – I’ve got it! I love it – it makes me dance while doing the dishes!

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Christine Kane August 12, 2008 at 8:33 am

deb – no guilt for southern gospel! This whole post is meant to be a celebration of our funny diverse tastes! (and there’s a coolness in that, as we’re all seeing.) Besides, I was in the Catholic folk mass — and I can still sing all those songs and get choked up. (And don’t get me started on the Godspell soundtrack.)

And I will side with mark on the opinion that bruce springsteen is about as far from uncool as you can get! (though the opening lines of thunder road bring out all my drama-tween angst in a VERY uncool way!)

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libby August 12, 2008 at 9:35 am

And don’t get me started on the Godspell soundtrack

Love it! Makes. Me. Cry. Every single time! I just recently bought the DVD… but you didn’t ask about the most uncool DVD we own… :)

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Colin August 12, 2008 at 11:57 am

Anyone out there for 12th Century Gregorian chants? No? I love ‘em.

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chris zydel August 12, 2008 at 12:49 pm

Hi Christine,

Fun post! First off, thank the goddess, but I’m too old to have to worry about being cool anymore! However, I think that John Denver falls into the questionable category and even though I don’t listen to him a lot, he IS on my iPod.

And…. Who’s Hannah Montana?????

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sheri August 12, 2008 at 1:22 pm

well, am so ashamed to admit it, but I’am a very UNCOOL person!! I bought a MP3 player last week for a upcoming trip to Alaska!! well, after 2 days of trying to learn how to work it, I’am still in the dark!! do I know the difference between the IPOD or MP3 player,uh NO!!! I think God left out the braincell for technical toys!!
Christine,I love ur Music, does that count? and if anyone wants to jump in and help,oh my gosh u would be my best friend for life!!braindead in MO. sheri

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Jesann August 12, 2008 at 1:45 pm

This is just reinforcing the idea that cool is in the ear of the listener. :D I think every song we have has the potential to embarrass us because there’s always that one person out there who can’t stand it.

Remember the Simpsons episode in which Bart was tricked into running outside in his pajamas? Nelson laughs and says something like, “Nice pajamas, Simpson. Did your Mommy buy them for you?” Bart answers, “Of course she did, who else would have?” Maybe there’s a potential snappy reply for us in that: If anybody says they can’t believe we listen to a certain song, we can just say, “Of course I do, why wouldn’t I?” :)

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Sonia Simone August 12, 2008 at 7:35 pm

Ha ha, I love this question! Uncoolest *music* on my ‘pod is probably the entire ABBA greatest hits CD, followed closely by Disco Hit of the 70s. (I maintain that Play That Funky Music White Boy is redeemed from uncoolness by a killer bass line, tho.) But uncoolest *recording* is surely the Tony Robbins stuff. :)

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Katie Baird August 12, 2008 at 8:39 pm

Hilarious. Public use of iPods has caused me some odd moments, but mostly the “public” consists of my adult kids who say, while I have iTrip blaring and they are captive in my vehicle, “What the heck is THAT mother?!”

A couple of mine would be “Baby Mine” from the Dumbo soundtrack and “Sixteen Tons,” by Tennesee Ernie Ford.

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Dawn Goldberg August 12, 2008 at 8:52 pm

Sometimes we can’t see our own uncoolness. :) So I asked my husband what the most uncool song on my iPod was. He said anything by the Muppets or John Denver. I don’t agree, so I’ll offer this one up: I have an entire CD of Lawrence Welk. :)

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Stacy C. August 12, 2008 at 9:06 pm

This one really embarasses me…Barry Manilow “The Kid Inside”. I can
just see him playing that piano…then halfway through the song…as it
builds…he stands with the microphone, and throws that arm out to the
side! The song gives me chills every time, making me think of high school,
but I’d die if anyone but my daughter and husband knew it was there!
(They totally understand!)

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chrissie diangelus August 12, 2008 at 9:37 pm

Oh Lord, where do I start? When I was training for a half marathon 3 years ago I purposely downloaded a TON of cheesy club/house music (lots of Daft Punk). What the neighbors must have thought when I was sprinting at full speed??? Tiffany’s “I Think We’re Alone Now” and anything by the Pointer Sisters. Hearing the Neutron Dance makes my day. And let’s face it – Kylie Minogue’s “I Should Be So Lucky” takes anyone back to the mid-80s.

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pati August 13, 2008 at 12:31 am

What great comments! I’ll second the person who talked about the definition of cool. I like my iPod songs (although there are only a few and I play them over and over — Christine’s is one of them!).

This summer I had a wonderful time going through my albums. I don’t have a player so I went to iTunes and ran through the songs I remembered. It was so peaceful. I think some things would probably be considered uncool today (Partridge Family and Archies, for two), but I had fun with them then.

For those of you who follow Lost, I found the PDB album they showed on the season finale. I still like it! The best finds of the bunch? Steve Goodman — the album cover alone is great. Poisette’s was . . . different. I won’t take up more space here, but if anyone wants to know more about what a great time that was, let me know.

p

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L.A. Linda August 13, 2008 at 11:10 am

Too funny! I remember club dancing to Tone Loc, haha.

I think gym music is a whole other category! We are allowed :^).
If we’re confessing here…Y’All have to admit one of the best cardio songs is “Ice-Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice!

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Danny August 13, 2008 at 11:30 am

Lynne, the song you are asking about was recorded by a group called Perfect Stranger. The title of the song is “Remember The Ride” and appeared on their debut album “You Have the Right to Remain Silent”. It was written by Kim Williams and Michael Harrell.

See if that helps with your search. :-D

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Cynthia August 13, 2008 at 1:02 pm

The entire John Denver’s Greatest Hits… The more I listen to it the more I like it.

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TWM August 13, 2008 at 3:46 pm

I do not have an iPod — I still listen to stuff the same way I did last millenium, with the Windows Media Player on my pc. I have some mashups which might fall into the uncool category: Britney / The Pixies; Hanson / The Beatles; ABBA / Echo and the Bunnymen.

Regarding HM — I was in the car with my wife’s ten-year old niece a couple weeks back, and I got to hear the new cd. Twice. It’s actually not that bad…

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leah August 13, 2008 at 4:03 pm

hehe, this is a fun topic. and i would think everyone’s idea of what embarrasses them would be different.

for me, i get a little embarrassed about britney spears’s song, “toxic” being on there and destiny child’s “lose my breath.” sometimes those poppy songs are just what i need to get moving! i have them on my cleaning mix for when i need some motivation to clean up my apartment. :-)

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Kaela August 13, 2008 at 7:08 pm

I have a ton of songs by Avril Lavigne. I actually don’t like some of them anymore, I just never deleted them from my iPod :)

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seventh sister August 13, 2008 at 8:19 pm

No MP3 player for me but I do some Jimmy Buffet that I don’t mention to certain people.

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seventh sister August 13, 2008 at 9:02 pm

‘He spent his days with horses
His nights with Rosa Lee
He spent his pay on whiskey
That was made in Tennesee’

is this Chris Ledoux?

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Kara August 13, 2008 at 9:33 pm

Great question! Everyone seems to want to play; I most definitely do.

Here are my closet-ed ipod tunes:

Elvira by The Oak Ridge Boys
Let’s Get Together from Disney’s The Parent Trap

the worst of the worst.. almost too bad to admit

Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Bot Bikini by Sha Na Na

I was uh… downloading it for someone… well, that someone was me, but I wasn’t feeling myself that day. :)

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Laurie August 14, 2008 at 6:44 am

Hey Hey We’re the Monkees and people say we monkey around!

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Becky August 14, 2008 at 10:18 am

Hmmm, I may be a contender here. Last month, I kept dreaming a dream with a song in it. Since it made me laugh every time I woke up and remembered it, I ordered a Perry Como CD just to get “Catch a falling star”. He had such a mellow voice, and the song just makes me smile.
There are several neat songs on the cd. But, he was probably the king of uncool, no celebrity attitude, no scandals, no ego. And I suspect he was happy with that!

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Becky August 14, 2008 at 10:22 am

Wait, the Muppets and John Denver are uncool? That’s not right….

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Peggi Habets August 14, 2008 at 9:51 pm

I can’t believe how many comments you got on this, how funny. I have a Neil Diamond song with “your so Sweet, horseflies keep hanging ’round your face, buzz, buzz, buzz, Kentucky moonshine will never take your place.”

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chrissie diangelus August 15, 2008 at 5:59 pm

How could I have forgotten Neil? And Kentucky Woman?! FABULOUS tune! I only wish he played it the other night at his concert here in Philly!!

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iletitgo August 16, 2008 at 9:39 am

Glad to know I’m not the only person still without an ipod or mp3 player. I’m looking to get one soon. I know I’d add my Enya “a Day without Rain” cd to it. This may not be uncool to some, but I remember a best friend, one who plays the violin (and now is in an orchestra), said that Enya was “Fluff music!” But I just love “Flora’s Secret”

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cynthia August 16, 2008 at 12:32 pm

This is too funny…

Last year my daughter asked me to buy Hilary Duff’s song, “So Yesterday” with lyrics and the karaoke version because she wanted to sing it A cappella at her school’s talent show. I downloaded the song to my ipod to help her out and never took it off. Every so often it comes up when I shuffle the songs and I’m reminded of my daughter.

btw, she did a bang up job and has way more chutzpah than I did when I was in 4th grade.

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Leslie Ellis August 18, 2008 at 9:32 am

When it comes to working out, it’s all about Loverboy. “Queen of the Broken Hearts” and “Hot Girls In Love”. :-)

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Jen August 24, 2008 at 2:13 pm

My sweetheart’s just moved X-county, so as this long-distance thing commences, I’m filling up my Shuffle with a ratio of 1/3 “gone” songs and 2/3 other stuff–the sappy ones we love together included. I think for least cool, it’s a toss-up betwen Carole King’s “You’re So Far Away” and the several John Denver songs (“Leavin’ on a Jet Plane,” “Annie’s Song,” “Follow Me”). But sometimes you just gotta wallow.

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Rick August 26, 2008 at 11:03 am

Okay…I saw Captain and Tennille mentioned a couple of times: what about a group from the same time period, the Starland Vocal Band? “Afternoon Delight” is resident on my iPod.

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Tammie August 26, 2008 at 11:19 am

Good ones – a musician friend and I call them “Guilty Pleasures” and we recently exchanged “mix CDs” filled with them….it was fun and interesting.

I was going to say “Ice Ice Baby” – and I see someone has already beaten me to it. So, I’ll go with:

“Must Be The Money” – by Deion Sanders – as in “Primetime” – the pro baseball/football player, that one is pretty bad! I’m slightly embarassed to admit I own this CD!

“Wham Rap” by Wham…..wham, bam I am the man…..LOL! Funny stuff!!

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Christina August 26, 2008 at 11:30 am

I loved reading all comments so far…I do not own an ipod although my daughter who works at Apple said she’s getting me the Nano for Christmas (So much for the suspense and expectation) I do own a sansa that was a hand-me-down from a friends father…I love it…it holds about 60 songs…just enough for me…so as for “un-cool” music on this current playlist I’d have to list in order of uncoolness
1. I Need Love (Wilson Phillips)
2. Locomotive Breath (Jethro Tull)
3. Come out and Play (Offspring)
4. Superman (REM)

All this intertwined with Tom Petty, Nat King Cole, Various Gospel, Worship, and Praise songs.

Oh…and Christine I checked I currently have 3 of yours mixed in also…but they are most assuredly of the cool variety…

And lastly for the workout queen in me I never leave without…Life During War Time (Talking Heads) Pump-it (Black-eyed Peas) Vent (Collective Soul) and Spirit in the Sky (Punk Version)

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