In our last episode, I wrote about how a mentor of mine has told me that when a seed is planted, the first thing that comes up is a little dirt. She says this to help any of her students and mentees get through the often confusing and painful parts of becoming conscious, setting new intents, shifting old patterns, etc.
Below I have compiled a list based on exhaustive (and exhausting!) research of the ten best things to do in the case of dirt arising…
1 – Cultivate the observer
The observer is the ever-present part of you that can objectively watch you in any situation and recognize when you are lost in your “stuff” or when you’re getting hooked. The way I experience the observer is that I can honestly recognize when I am thinking stuff that isn’t serving anybody. Even when my mind is lost in a self-defeating yammer, I’m constantly and consciously aware of a part of me that is witnessing and knows this is not who I really am. It’s a peaceful place.
The benefit that comes from allowing this witness more and more is that you come to know yourself so much better. For instance, I know that there are times when I do need to just change my thoughts. To just slap the pink icing on the poop. I’ll say something like, “Okay, are we really doing this again, Christine?” And I simply say no, we’re not. And I find the affirmation or I just turn away from that thought and move on.
Then there are the other times. When the fixation is fixated, and the inner-whiney-chick is just gonna need a little more attention. Over time, I’ve come to recognize which place I’m in. And believe it or not, giving some attention to the whiney-chick has been helpful.
Knowing those spaces is about knowing the self. Not in a narcissistic way. In an honest clear way. You can start knowing yourself by calling on your inner observer. If, even for a minute, you can look upon yourself and say, “What do I need right now?” without judgment, you will have progressed. Daily meditation is one of the best practices in cultivating the observer.
2 – Feel a little bit better
One of the most valuable points in Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks is that you don’t have to make yourself go from feeling awful to feeling “GREAT!” All you need to focus on is feeling a little bit better than you do. This releases some of the pressure. Get Ask and It is Given. The exercises in it are designed to do just that.
3 – Remember, “You create your own reality” doesn’t have to be followed by “…and so it’s all your fault and something must be wrong with you.”
One of the patterns I see time and time again when people read Louise Hay or watch The Secret or learn about “creating reality” is that they take this teaching — which has many levels to it — and they use it to beat the living crap out of themselves. In other words, they become Catholic all over again. It’s like all the people who think they’ve “recovered” from the rigid religions of their youths, then go off into other spiritual paths, and still use the same guilt techniques that they were running from in the first place.
4 – Back to Basics
If you see yourself if #3, then you may have to back up a step and recognize that this pattern is what has to be dealt with first. The intent might have to shift from being a gajillionaire to being worthy at all.
Sometimes people get so totally excited by the notion of “I can do anything! And look! All those people on The Secret are so wealthy and happy, and I can have all of that!” So they begin down the road of the BIG affirmation. Then when the dirt comes up, there’s so very much of it that they don’t know where to begin.
Get basic when the dirt comes up. Safety, worthiness, compassion, kindness, beauty, being loved and adored — these are the concepts to begin with. The temptation is to rush, to try to “catch up.” But making a foundation of the basics will ultimately get you further in deeper ways.
5 – Look at all of it as an experiment
Every now and then, remind yourself that the best thing about learning that you can create your reality is that your whole life becomes an experiment. Have a little fun with that idea. Say things like, “Hmmmm. I wonder what would happen if I really simply focused on________.” Or “I wonder if I really actually could visualize and think myself a new hybrid car.” Really, why not? What do you have to lose?
6 – Nap
Practical steps work too. Rather than ignoring the dirt and letting it slowly evolve into a Really Bad Day and eventual breakdown, be kind to yourself. Set the alarm for 20 minutes and take a nap. Seriously, I do think so many people are trying to do all of this stuff in a state of total exhaustion.
My cat Atticus naps more than any being I know. (He is writing a personal growth book called “The Power of Nap.”) And his life works perfectly. He gets all the food he needs. He’s at his perfect weight. He’s wealthy in flannel and down. He has daily (sometimes hourly) massages. When he wants to go out, someone lets him out. When he wants to come back in (even if it’s 18 seconds later) someone lets him back in. And the only time he worries is when the big loud machine steals the tufts of fur that he had so carefully left on the floor. Napping is his secret.
7 – Containerize
If the emotions or the poor-me story needs to come out and be looked at, then try containerizing it. This is simply an intent-within-the-intent process. If you need to talk out your fears or your negativity, then create the intent to containerize for a while. This is an off-limits “no longer creating my reality” container. Call a friend and explain to him that you need a listening ear. Explain that he is not allowed to feel sorry for you or give advice. He is not to give any “power” to your story. He is there to allow the container to happen. You just need to let it out. Or you can do the same in your journal. Let it all out there. Be sure to create a container for it.
8 – Lose the Story and see what’s left
If emotions are what’s coming up, try this. Try just sitting still and letting the emotions be there without the story that has attached itself to them. Feel sad and say “bring it on” to the sadness, but make sure that the story of “how awful my co-workers are because they never invite me to lunch!” isn’t part of the sadness. Just allow the sadness. Most of the time, it will move through and out. The challenge is to leave the story and all of its dramas behind.
9 – Get help
There are many many healers, practitioners, and coaches out there who can help you work through some of the deeper dirt that comes up. I don’t often recommend therapy, as it tends to focus on the problem itself. But more and more I’m hearing about more spiritually focused therapists, who are challenging their clients to see life situations from a higher perspective. Several friends of mine have had great results from working with Psych-K practitioners. I love any and all energy healing and alternative therapies.
10 – Banish results-oriented thinking
“Well, I affirmed that I’d win a Grammy award and that Madonna would invite me over to do yoga, and that was last week and it still hasn’t happened, so I’m going to conclude that all of this stuff is just hooey.”
The best way to approach “creating your reality” is to lose the attachment to the results. This brings us back to #1, the observer — watch where it takes you and allow surprises to come out of nowhere. I had done lots of work on myself before I began studying this whole “your thinking creates your reality” idea. And the one thing I said to myself was, “Hey, I don’t know if it works. But if nothing else, I’ll improve my level of thinking.” That was motivation enough. You will get results, for sure. And it might take some time, some dirt, and some processes. Those will be rewards and results in and of themselves.