I remember the first time I hired someone to mow my lawn for the summer. I was a tried-and-true D.I.Y. gal. I prided myself on it.

The only problem was that I freakin’ couldn’t stand mowing the lawn. I’d dread it all week. And even though I was happy once it was done, I would start dreading it again the very next day!

At that time, I was studying several financial and business gurus and authors. Those authors taught me to begin seeing my songs as my assets. I realized that the simple act of writing a song like “No Such Thing as Girls Like That” could pay me – in the long run – WAY more than the money I saved by mowing my lawn.

In other words, I learned how to value my work in the world. I learned how to act on that value. It was scary for sure. (The voices in my head shrieked at me to just bite the bullet and do my own lawn!) But that one act taught me so much about success and the value of my time.

These days I’ve taken it to a much bigger level, and I have a small team working for me.

Now that I’m coaching people, I gently teach them these new ways of valuing their time as they expand into more success in their own lives.

Here are 7 signs that it might be time for you to hire some help…

1 – You don’t have enough time to do the thing you’re best at.

What are you good at? What do you want to be good at? How much time do you actually spend doing that thing?

If you’re running around getting menial tasks done – and you have no time to pursue your passion, or engage in your high-pay-off, high-delight activities, then ask yourself why.

Even if you let go of one item (like shoveling the snow) you’re telling the Universe the value of your time. (And you know what? The Universe always says Yes.)

2 – You resent people who don’t struggle.

This is a big one.

If you hold resentment for people who live life with joy and ease, this could be telling you that you are waiting for rescue. That just leads to more struggle.

Only YOU are in charge of whether or not you struggle. Rescue yourself and learn what true empowerment feels like.

3 – You’re worried about the economy.

Waiting for the economy to get better before you’ll hire someone? Why not become a part of the solution and use your money to improve the economy?

While everyone else is pulling back and firing people – you can experience what it’s like to be the change you wish to see in the world!

4 – You think that no one can do it as good as you.

If you just shouted “Amen Sister!” – then please step away from your computer. Go to the bathroom mirror. Look into that mirror and say the following aloud:

“I have a bit of a control issue.”

The belief that no one can do it better than you serves only to keep you in the role of the Martyr. Unless you are, say, a brain surgeon, then there are many people who can (and will) do it as good as you.

5 – You’re not playing to win. You’re playing not to lose.

Ask any coach or athlete about this.

When you play to not lose, all you’re doing is surviving, relying on yourself and hoping no one notices you.

When you play to win – you take risks, you keep your mental attitude strong, you rely on the team, you look for the goal. Decide that you want to play to win.

6 – You’ve used this phrase at least once in the past week: “By the time I show someone how to do it, I could just do it myself.”

This is a classic phrase of someone who refuses to succeed. It’s the mantra of the struggle-addict.
Learning how to delegate is empowering. Not just for you, but for others as well. Besides, when you show them how to do it once, they can keep on doing it so you don’t have to!

7 – You dread certain things so much that they don’t get done.

It’s okay to not enjoy aspects of your work or your life. (Most musicians and artists don’t like doing their own newsletter, for instance.) This is the exact thing you can hire someone to do.

What items do you dread? No matter what they are, when you get them off your plate, you’ll experience more energy just knowing they’re getting done – and you don’t have to worry about them anymore!

23 COMMENTS ADD A COMMENT
  • Sue Sullivan

    Christine, this is just what I needed. I’m a DIY because I love the satisfaction of doing it myself and the things I learn in the process. BUT there are things I definitely have had enough of, like cleaning.

    When I was single, I took the risk and hired someone to clean my floors. The cleaning person only had time for this, it was the task I least liked to do myself, and it gave me a way of taking a baby step toward hiring out. It was wonderful. I kept her even when I decided to go part-time, which lowered my income.

    Now, I’m married. We both would love to have someone clean. Our fear is finances. I’ve been ill for months and haven’t brought in a needed income. I’m almost a 100% recovered. This entry has inspired me to take the first steps in manifesting a cleaning person—–imagining I now have a person who LOVES to clean my house. Thanks, Christine!

  • John Holley

    Hmm, that mean the preacher-guy across the street quit getting disgusted and cutting the lawn for you? Or have the evangelicals started to Zen-out down your way?

  • pati

    Hi Christine,

    At first I was wondering where this topic would lead. Or, maybe I’ll say, I was worried about where it might lead. But then, as usual, Christine, you did a great job of creating perspective. I liked your comment along the lines that one person’s chore is another person’s treasure. Sometimes, I think, “I hate to do . . .” Then, when I get into it, I realize how therapeutic it can be. So, I have to weigh the cost of not doing revenue-producing work vs. the benefit of finding peace of mind. Shaking things up (“but I always mow the lawn”) may help a person to release . . . and discover. Thanks, Christine. Pati

  • Sunrise Sister

    Great post and comments – thanks!

  • yvonne

    Thanks Christine! I really appreciate you taking the time to respond. I’m working on it — I made extra sure that I wrote in my gratitude journal yesterday. And I think my jealousy is rooted in the fact that she’s so similar to me — sometimes I feel like she’s living my life, but better 😉 I know it’s not true, but I feel so threatened when I’m around her. I can’t tell her any of the things I want to do because she’ll go out and try to do them. I think the relationship will have to end. Thanks again!

  • embryo

    The sign is going inside my door where I can read it as I exit….not on the outside for people who are coming in….some people might not ever knock!! Or there might be lots of LOUD knocks..;hmmm this might be a fun filter.

  • embryo

    Well and Woow…thanks ck for that trip into the reflecting pool. At the time I was reflecting your “brilliance” with your words and wisdom during retreats – seeing all that potential in you…interesting how the universe let me nudge and you catch it. And this is how it works when we are open.

    Thanks for Big and Bold….i get it (again). Always growing. Because it’s so easy to think “small” I’m going to hang a sign with “Big and Bold” on my door. A good conversation piece too.

    Great big dreams to you!

  • J

    Thank you Christine and Embryo. It’s amazing how many quantum leaps this discussion has created for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Christine, you deserve to be on Oprah’s Spirit webcasts…you are brilliant. I can’t wait for the on line seminar!

  • Christine Kane

    Thanks Lynne! (You and I were commenting at the same time!)

  • Christine Kane

    embryo –

    (You get your very own box. :-))

    Great question! Here’s how I look at it. I don’t look at it as “competition.” I think the world view that says, “It’s all competition and I’m playing not to lose because I don’t want to compete with people” is almost a convenient way to not call forth bigger results in your life. Like saying, “I’m too nice for that.”

    I have used something you said to me a LONG time ago as a lesson for so many people I’ve coached. (I think I included it as one of the lessons in my on-line seminar, soon to be “Uplevel Your Life Mastery Program.”)

    Long ago, when you were helping me with my retreats, and I was telling you that i didn’t want to advertise my retreats because I liked to just “let them happen.” I think I told you I was just “allowing it.” And you were SO wise in that moment – and you said, “Are you saying that because you’re TRULY allowing it? Or are you saying it because you’re scared to step up more and put these retreats out there because you’re afraid of failing?” (Not those exact words. But that was the gist.)

    THAT is what I mean by playing to win. If you hadn’t said that, I would probably still be “playing not to lose” with my retreats. I stepped up and did it more boldly and continue to do that even now. So – I hope that your very words clarify my meaning of “win.”

    Thanks!

  • Christine Kane

    b –

    what you wrote is the most COMMON response to hiring people. i had this happen when I hired a cleaning person – and i’ve since gotten over it when I realized that she LOVED doing what she does. That she THRIVED on making things beautiful. I realized that if I opted out of hiring her (because of fear) that I was actually taking something away from her. Not only money – but something she loved doing. that’s only a start of course. Your self-described addiction to struggle is definitely something to simply start by saying, “I am willing to thrive.” Just see what that brings up. And use the power of the observer to notice when you make things harder on yourself – or when you resent people who are living effortlessly. That’s how i started letting it go!

    j –

    no, you don’t have to! 🙂 It’s totally up to you. I’ll echo what embryo wrote below. It evolves. The paradigms we have created in our lives take some time to shift into new openings. in the meantime, just start to notice and be grateful when you are in the presence of those who have the attitudes and mindsets of where you want to go. THAT will move you faster than spending time being upset with the negative people all around you now. Notice the small awakenings and openings first.

  • Lynne

    This came at the perfect time for me. I have been avoiding/procrastinating on several things that I dread — hiring a few of them out — heck, even bartering with friends for things that they’re good at and I’m not (and visa versa) would make life so much more enjoyable. Thanks for the inspiration (as always!)… you’re the best!

  • embryo

    What are we winning? I’m sure I usually play not to lose. I am not competitive and will usually step aside to let others move on. I was never attracted to sports as a kid…but love to track myself at the gym on the weight machines and the elliptical. Is there a win and lose in everything?

    j- I also needed a more conscious group of friends after shifting. It has evolved as a response to my affirming this is what I wanted.
    I also recommend the December blogger who chose the word “Wonder”. I’ve had so many “wonders” since I read that blog and a big decrease in my judgements.

  • J

    How do I engage with ego rooted people? DO I have to at all?

    Christine, I am wondering something and I really appreciated the responses today! Since I have been “in transformation”, no more rooted in egoic consciousness, I found I have no tolerance for people who operate from their ego! I wonder what to do. I have yet to find friends who have experienced the same spiritual transformation and find myself “putting up with” conversations that are negative, gossipy or otherwise “ego-rooted”. Old friends, my sisters, my neighbors, mom’s of my kids friends…Yet I find that i need to replenish my spirit and ‘get back’ to where I was before engaging with these people. I know it’s a choice to engage with people but these women are my kids’ friends moms or neighbors. Do you ever find that there are so FEW enlightened, conscious creative people around you and you have to deal with egoic people. How do I forgive them? How do I not judge them? How do I not LET them pull me in?

  • B

    Yikes… I have a big problem with this one. I think there are two things going on for me:
    1. Growing up “working class,” I feel very strange hiring someone to do things for me. It seems like something the rich and privledged do. It feels very weird to me.
    2. I think I may be experiencing a little struggle addiction… any recommendations for kicking this one? Some of the others rang true as well, but I think I’ve been doing well with implementing some strategies there. The “struggle” thing seems like a toughie.

    Thanks! This is my first comment, but I’ve been reading your blog for a little bit and really enjoy it!

  • Christine Kane

    thanks creativevoyage – It’s an Internet Explorer issue – and my webguy is working on it!

  • creativevoyage

    Hi christine

    your blog is looking really weird and squahed over on my computer

  • Stacey

    I was just talking about the 80/20 principle with a friend of mine who is an artist. He loves to paint, but doesn’t love the process of getting his work out in to the world. I told him about the principle – that 80% of our returns come from 20% of our effort – and he saw that it was true: he could let go of all the things he was doing to get more galleries and focus on the fact that he does get paid well at the one where he already has a relationship. And then he frees more time up to paint. And then (I believe) some agent will come along and see his work and want to represent him. Or he can hire an agent. But he will still focus on what he loves and have a happy life.

  • Christine Kane

    arlene – you are SO right about the “keep looking” piece. It’s so easy to get frustrated and give up when you don’t find the right person at the start. the right person is out there! But you have to decide to find them!

    thanks sue! and yes indeed about that collective fear thing. It’s insidious! (I’m in a perpetual experiment called “Let’s See What Happens If I Don’t Go There!”)

  • Sue

    Love all of this and have done each one at some time or another! Love #3 right now. Seems like the collective fear about the economy is at least as paralyzing as the situation itself. Thanks for this!

  • Arlene

    Hi Christine,

    I agree wholeheartedly with you. For years I have hired out jobs that I dont relish or that take away from my limited free time. As someone who has traveled for my job for the past 15 years, my time at home is precious and I dont want to spend it doing “chores”. I agree that sometimes it is hard to let go-I went through five cleaning services because I felt that they didnt do the job as well as I did, so why pay them $$$ for it? If the fit isnt there, keep looking-you will find someone who does the job well at a fair price and will be thankful for the time it frees up for you to pursue more enjoyable things, such as spending time on a hobby, relaxing and taking “me” time or freeing up time to spend with family and friends. Now that I have recently lost my job, I have to scale back for financial reasons but will go back to hiring out tasks when the opportunity arises again.

  • Christine Kane

    Hi Yvonne — One of the women at my last retreat spoke up about something that was totally eating away at her …

    she really really couldn’t stand her husband’s dog. She had a lot of guilt and emotion around it – and she tried and tried to be a “good” wife and work at liking this dog. The first thing I said was “what if you just ACCEPTED that you don’t like the dog? What if it’s just a “no big deal” kind of thing?” Instantly, she could relax. She even managed to laugh about it.

    It’s the same thing when we feel jealousy, envy, resentment — the first thing is to just say, “Okay. here’s this feeling right now. What if it’s just okay that it has shown up…?” See if that doesn’t ease it off. Everyone has felt this at some point. But we make it worse when tell ourselves it shouldn’t be there.

    So, for the next few days just ALLOW this to be there. “No big deal. I can’t stand this person and all of her success.” You might even smile at it and have compassion for yourself.

    Start there, okay? See if it doesn’t diffuse a bit.

    NEXT thing I would do (and the women who have been at my retreats could all vouch for this!) is say, “due to family obligations you CAN’T get out of this? Or you WON’T get out of this friendship?” Start empowering yourself by saying, “WON’T.” Because it IS YOUR choice.

    You are the one choosing to stay connected to this person/relationship – no matter how many reasons you want to name for why you have no choices. If it’s a toxic situation for you – then you always have the choice to step away. Even if it’s challenging to do that or if it upsets everyone in the family.

  • yvonne

    Hi, I’ve been a reader for over a year now & hope to come to one of your retreats when I’m done graduate school. I was hoping that you could talk a little more about #2 — resenting people who don’t appear to struggle. I’ve felt like an evil monster all day today thanks to some good news for one of my friends. I feel like I’ve worked really hard in my life and have done a lot of things that I’m proud of. And then this friend comes along, copied a lot of the same things I did (even snuck behind my back & went to work for my previous employer), gets my same credentials, and is now working at a job that I wanted when I graduated. I was wondering if you had any tips for dealing with this in the short-term. This “friend” has been extremely toxic, but due to family obligations, I can’t get out of the friendship. It makes me feel even worse about myself because I feel like I’m being a lousy friend for being jealous.
    Thanks so much for the blog — & for the free vision book!

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