9 Irresistible Reasons to Go Complaint-Free Starting Now - Christine Kane

In my Uplevel Your Life Mastery Program, there’s a contract.

It’s a commitment that each participant will go complaint-free, criticism-free, whine-free, and gossip-free as they work with me in the program.  That’s 49 days, baby!

What does that have to do with Upleveling your Life?


First off, let’s get one thing out of the way:

This is not about “being nice.” This is much deeper.

It’s about understanding the power of your Attention.

If you have a big juicy Intention or Dream – then your attention is the daily practice of manifesting that goal or dream.  It is the essence of Creativity.

So, when I’m working with you and coaching you, I want you to experience the power of shifting your attention from the so-called problem, so it can attract the many solutions!

Here are 9 Irresistible Reasons to Go Complaint-Free Today:

1 – When you’re complaint-free, you find solutions rather than staying mucked in the problem.

If you don’t offer yourself the option of complaining, then you train your brain to actually find solutions and get ideas. As Maya Angelou says, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.”

2 – When you’re complaint-free, you shrink your ego.

Complaining is like weight-training for your ego.

It makes your ego stronger because it makes someone or something else wrong. And it makes YOU right. Your ego gets puffed up.  When you cease the complaining/criticizing/gossiping habit, you tell your ego that your spirit is in charge, not your ego!

3 – After 21-Days, you’ve started a new habit and created a new you.

Research shows that it takes 21-days to form a new habit.  And while it does take some trial and error to get through those 21-days, most of my clients notice that after only 7-days, they tolerate negativity less.  After 2-weeks, they report that when they slip up, they instantly self-correct!

4 – When you’re complaint-free, it’s a conversation starter.

Imaginary scenario:

Hal rushes into your office to gossip.

You get to smile and say, “Gosh Hal, you know, I’d love to join in, but I’m in the middle of Upleveling my Life. I signed a contract to go Gossip-Free. Wanna look at it?”

Hal says, “Huh? What’s that?”

Poof!  The energy of the conversation shifts!  It goes in a different direction, and you experience wildly exciting lightness where gossip would have once existed!

5 – When you’re complaint-free, it’s a conversation deepener.

Hal will listen for a while and then say, “Wow, that’s a great idea. I’ve noticed how easy it is to complain, and I want to be more self-responsible…”

You’ll share a deeper connection when you each admit your authentic dreams and goals.

6 – When you’re complaint-free, you attract new energy.

My clients report this one change so frequently, I barely blink an eye anymore.

When you go complaint free, you simply start attracting more positive people to you. The negative people will walk away and think you’re a complete idiot.  But then, you’ll start noticing positive curious people entering your life because you’re so much fun to be around.

7 – When you’re complaint-free, you banish lazy thinking.

Think about it.

You can’t get much lazier than complaining and gossiping.  It’s the same well-worn neural pathway you’ve trudged down day after day, along with 99% of the population. When you’re complaint-free, you go a different route. With alertness and alacrity, you find new ways of seeing things. (Plus, you get to use words like alacrity!)

8 – When you’re complaint-free, you create happiness.

It’s challenging at first, yes.

But after a few weeks, the common response I get from my clients is this:  “You know what?  I’m SO much happier!”

That’s because complaining is just a habit, and it does nothing but drag us down. When your attention is forced to find new places to land, your subconscious becomes a “happiness-seeking missile.”  And because you’re so powerful, you find it!

9 – When you’re complaint free with a group, you get to soar on the updraft of the great group energy.

When groups work together, magic happens. This is why Uplevel Your Life™ works.  When you link up with a group of like-minded people, effortlessness is created.

So – create a cool updraft with the 24,000 subscribers to my eZine.  Go complaint-free!

  • Jen Smith (@JenSmithSick)

    Wow I just wrote about my attempt at no complaining…

    So I’ve been reading Joe Vitale’s new book ‘The Awakening Course’. I’m always up for a new trick or two to help me be happy. Happiness and feeling good has been a life long endeavor for me. Drugs and alcohol used to be my only source of feeling good, ‘Better living through chemistry’ was my motto. Selecting the right mix of drugs, the right amounts, in the right order was an art form I took very seriously, until drugs completely stopped working and nearly destroyed my life- bummer. But my pursuit of happiness hasn’t stopped. Now I read self-help books, work on my recovery, and keep an open mind to any kind of new age hooped up wacked out suggestion about being happy. So in Joe’s book, not that he’s wacked out, he suggests that I make a commitment to not complain for thirty days. Well I’m a pretty positive person so I figure I can do this. It’s a lot tougher than I imagined

    I was really serious about this attempt to not complain for thirty days, so I put it out there to my friends on Facebook and challenged them to call me out if they heard me complaining. Shortly after I made this deep commitment to an endeavor I was sure would heighten my awareness of my thoughts enabling me to carefully and particularly discard the negative in my brain before it was spewed out to the world, my teenage son came downstairs. The downstairs in our house is what I call ‘command central’. There are several computers, a TV, video games, and musical instruments, often with too many media outlets and screens going all at the same time. So as I’m comfortable and quietly clicking away at my lap top, my son comes in and puts on the TV, loudly, and sits at the desk and turns on the desktop.

    “The TV is way too loud it’s annoying, please turn it down!” Opps, the first thing out of my mouth and it’s a complaint! He begins to play one of his war games on the desk top next to where I’m sitting and his computer obnoxiously start bellowing out noises of death. You know, Ooooos and screams of dying people coupled with the sound of their squished beaten bodies and let’s not forget the constant gun fire and explosions. I just wasn’t on the spiritual beam that day I guess, and from my mouth spewed more complaints about the sound. Yikes! What’s happening? I was able to stop myself. No more complaining, I thought to myself.

    The next day I did much better but I was in a cube only interacting with technology.

  • S

    Hi Christine,
    I am just wondering how not to complain? If things are not going the way I want them to and people are being mean – how do I stop myself from feeling bitter?

  • Charlie Damonsing

    Christine, I love this. I particularly like the point about the ego. I would like my spirit to be in charge not my ego!

  • Charles Ogwyn

    Hi Christine,

    Thanks for the pep talk. I’m a firm believer in the glass half full approach and your article helps refocus me refocus on the power of attention. So powerful.

    Thank you.

  • Patty H

    “Complaint Free” sounds like a good mantra to me. Thanks, Christine. Love the cup half full attitude. 🙂

  • Rachel

    Hi Christine,

    I’ve been reading your blog for about a year now. I may have commented before; maybe not. But I am inspired to respond to this post. When I first read it, my immediate thought was “Oh no! I am way too pissed to not whine/bitch right now.” But I left it open in my browser nonetheless.

    Christine, your message is EXACTLY what I needed to hear this week. (Just needed it to simmer for awhile). I’ve been in a situation that is “not my fault,” and I have been responding just so. So much that I’ve forgotten where the joy in it is.

    So over the last few days (since whenever you published it), I have been slowly NOTICING when I’ve been bitching/whining/etc. That’s the first step. (Gosh there was a LOT of it going on). But as I NOTICE, I also notice myself stopping sooner and letting go quicker.

    I appreciate what you are doing in the world. Thank you for this reminder. I’m happy to report that I have REMEMBERED the parts about running/starting a business that I love and am looking forward to its unfolding. Thank you.

  • Suzanne G

    Oh, Christine, thank you for the pep talk. Yes, I’m a backslider, but I’m starting over again. Your comment about letting the ego-me talk itself out and then getting on with the positive in life rang a bell for me. Now I can quit criticizing myself for those moments.

    And Suzanne Moore, I know your attitude will increase the healing energy around you.

  • Diane Fujimoto

    Love the no-complaint contract idea and the 21 day habit-breaking or making theory. it has worked for me in the past. thanks to Sabine for asking the very same questions that were going through my mind while reading Christine’s. Thanks, Christine, for the responses. I see it much more clearly now. One last question? How do you move a loved-one from the constant complaining mode ( where it’s really a way of communication) to a life without complaints? I don’t find it easy to confront loved-ones in conflict, so I have been just listening and letting that person complain on and on -such a waste of energy! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

  • Daniele Largo

    Christine you rock! Complaining is a prison one creates for themselves. Not only is it draining but it blocks all the cool creativity from coming out. It also attracts negativity to you and overall makes you feel icky! Who needs that? Life has soooo many juicy parts to celebrate!!! Thanks for spreading the love, I will definitely pass it on xox.

  • Sabine French

    I have to admit, that each time I attempt to start over on my Uplevel Program (which I love &, yes, it is a life-changer), I get stymied at this point for a few days. I wonder if you could offer more specific examples of each category of behavior to avoid, Christine? For instance, is saying to my husband : “Gosh, I just couldn’t sleep last night.” a complaint? Or an observation?
    Likewise, I don’t think I am a gossip — but I wonder if talking with someone about what is going on with a mutual friend (in a non-judgemental way — just hearing what she’s up to) is that gossip?
    And criticism….This might be where I get caught. Does it count even if it never comes out of your mouth? If I notice something and have a negative reaction (a critical reaction) but keep it to myself (I call it “metabolizing” it: sitting with the feeling until it goes away), is that something to be avoided? If so, I am not sure how to stop that seemingly instantaneous mental reaction — any clues?
    Thanks if you can offer any additional insight to help me over this speed bump!

    • Christine Kane

      Hey Sabine –

      There are many many questions wrapped in this one paragraph here…. 🙂

      As for observations, I think they are totally different from complaints. “I am cold. Please turn up the heat.” is a radically different energy from “This place is always so damn cold. Can’t they ever do anything about it?” (bitchy conversation ensues)

      As for gossip – it’s your call. I always share stories about friends with friends – especially the victories and the funny lovable things they do. I don’t think sharing is the same thing as the energy of gossip. Typically, I rely on my body to tell me whether or not I’m gossiping. My heart starts to feel all shrunken and old when I engage.

      And lastly, this isn’t about making it all go away or making your mind shut up. Our egos and our minds just like to ramble on and be critical or notice things or whatever. That’s called Monkey Mind. And you can let it yammer on and watch it like a ticker tape without judging it. The instant you judge yourself for having judgment – you know that your ego has taken up both sides of that situation! Your essential self can just sit back and notice the critical angry yammering.

      I was in a yoga class last week and I was in a vile mood. It was like the ego-me would simply NOT shut up, criticizing every last thing. Finally, I just sat there and let it have its time. No judgment. Just observation. Eventually, it’ll tire itself out. But I find that if I try to be a “good girl” and push down the inner yammering, then it finds other ways to act out! I just try not to act on it, verbalize it or pay too much attention to it! 🙂

      HOpe that helps!

    • Patricia

      Sabine–I think all of your questions boil down to knowing your own intention. Take a simple statement: “It is raining.” Think about how many ways we can say it. Go ahead and try saying it with different intonations and emphasis. Think about the many things we can mean by saying it. Said by a drought stricken farmer it might be exultation; by a child it might be whiny boredom; by a mom it might be a reminder to take an umbrella. So there isn’t a clear answer–you have to know why you are saying what you are saying. It is a challenge, but it really builds self-awareness. As Christine says “Energy flows where attention goes.”

  • Lee

    I’m jumping back on the (band)wagon. Thanks for the reminder, Christine.

  • Jenny Sammons

    Just re-committed! Thanks Christine!

  • Suzanne Moore

    Christine – I appreciate this article SO much! I recently broke my ankle and could have spent the last six weeks complaining about my time on the couch. Instead I channelled my energy into business projects that I often struggle to have time for. It was a mindset choice that could have gone either way. I’m nine days out from starting rehab, and I feel like I’ve really won a battle because I’ve kept it positive instead of complaining. Also because my wonderful friends and husband have supported me throughout. Thanks for sharing this today!

    • Stefanie

      Suzanne, I hope your ankle feels better.

      Christine, I have also heard you once say that we should make requests, not complaints. I have been using that mantra ever since.

    • Christine Kane

      GREAT share, Suzanne! Thanks for modelling this for us. And yes, you’re right – it can always go either way!

  • Sam Uhl

    Thanks a bunch for sharing, I’m on it! As founder of The Cheerful Word, I will also begin using my new word of the day, alacrity, since it means cheerful readiness. Yup, that’s me!

    Your article fine tunes the reason why I wrote last week’s blog on telling a new story. I illustrated the use of Pollyanna and the Silver Lining, and those things appear – voila – when you stop complaining. Thanks for getting to the root of it. Enjoy the day!

  • Michaela

    I’m so doing that! From now on, no complaining! Thank you for the inspiration Christine!

  • Caroline Mixon

    I have followed you for several years and once upon a time did the complaint free contract. I am recommitting today for I backslid!
    Have had a temporary physical complaint that gave way to a universal assault on all things in my path. Not ugly, just not pretty.
    New woman this am after you re- gifted your post today on ….stop your complaining!