Declutter 101: Seriously. Are You Ever Gonna Use that China? - Christine Kane

“Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.”  – William Morris

If I had to pick ONE thing – one massively BURDENSOME thing – that weighs on the hearts of women who get serious about letting go of clutter, it’d be pretty easy.

Not the divorce papers, or the old letters from college boyfriends who dumped them.

Not the clothing they spent too much on, or are waiting to fit into again some day.

Not even the piles of food magazines with recipes they’ll cut out in some unplanned frenzy of cooking inspiration!

It’s the old china.

Somewhere in the family tree, someone called it “the good china.”  Now, it sits in sideboards, fills up shelving, blocking access to the pottery flower vase behind it.

“I can’t stand the stuff.  It’s totally not who I am. But there it sits.”  Shari was sitting in the circle at my Unstoppable Power of Intention Retreat. It suddenly dawned on her that much of the clutter in her life – including her grandmother’s old china – had one common element that kept it in place.

In fact, what she discovered is THE most common (and most sticky) reason we hold onto stuff we don’t want.

Guilt.  Thick as the dust that gathers on it.

It had never dawned on Shari that she could simply let the guilt – and the china – go. No one had every given her permission.  Now, it was just way too daunting to consider.

Here’s what I told her:

Things have energy. If you’re wondering why you can’t let go of friends who are critical of you, or if you’re wondering why you never ask for a raise or make more money, or if you feel stuck in a rut, then take a very simple step towards change:

Look around you.

Observe the space where you live and work.

How many of the items in your environment are there because you love them and want them?  And how much is there because you’ll feel guilty if you follow your true delight and desire and just let it go?

Your environment often perfectly mirrors many of the other situations in your life. And it’s an easier place to start!  When you begin letting go of things like the old china you don’t use, then you get to experience what it feels like to honor yourself.

So, experience the space that is created when you listen to your heart and not your guilt.  Ask yourself if you’re ever going to use that china. If the answer is no, then isn’t it time to let it – and the guilt – go?

51 COMMENTS ADD A COMMENT
  • Laura

    I have a big. Old. Piano.

  • Keith

    Came here looking for a way to unload my China and got a life lesson, deep!

  • Heidi

    I did it! I love china and table settings, but I never used my Mom’s Noritake china from the ’60’s. I was forced to grab what I could when my sister put my mother in an assisted living facility, and I wanted the china just because my dysfunctional famly always got it together for holidays, and thus, I had nice memories of the china. What I didn’t get was that it kept me from getting to the gorgeous antique set that I had collected via Ebay. (There was no success selling my Mom’s china on Ebay). Finally, an animal charity that I love, the Lange Foundation in Los Angeles, which is a no-kill shelter had a rummage sale with all proceeds benefitting their current animals, and helped with pulling animals from L.A.’s high-kill shelters. I kept a tea cup and saucer, and happily dropped off this lovely set, and didn’t look back. Now I can access my Royal Albert English bone china set any time I want. And I hope that an LA. City shelter animal will live because of my actions. Thanks Christine, for putting this in my head.

  • Gail

    I found joy in practicing a random act of kindness to a stranger and her children today. I recently cleaned my closet (part of my declutter) and found my little container of coins that has been located in the closet for years. I am sure at least $20 in change stock piled. Obviously, I did not need this money. Well, since I was cleaning out the closet, it had to go. I put the container in my car. I had it in my car for a week. This morning I saw a mom and her 2 kids waiting for the school bus. I see them most mornings at the playground. I parked my car and got my container. They looked so curious as I approached them. I explained I had cleaned my closet and had this change. I was practicing a random act of kindness and giving it to them to do something fun with~ Boy it feels good to declutter;)

  • Claire

    Claire here again. I forgot to talk about china. You’re in North Carolina, so you must know about Replacements, Inc., the discontinued china replacements company. My husband buys & sells to them. We find china & crystal at auctions, garage sales, resale shops & eBay. We might buy a whole set but Replacements may only want the dinner plates and cereal bowls. We always have a lot of leftover china which we stash in the living room, bedrooms, bathrooms, closets and garage. We hold onto it hoping that we can sell it on ebay, or that Replacements will buy it “next quarter.” It sits. It doesn’t sell. We’re in a small town with no Goodwill or resale shop to give it to, so we end up just throwing it away, trash loads full of high end china, including Lenox, Royal Doulton, Mikasa, Spode, etc. I feel bad when we do that.

  • Claire

    For me, it’s not primarily guilt. It’s fear. Fear of facing up to how empty my life really is. Fear that I might later need what I throw it away, and fear that I won’t be able to buy it again later. Maybe a little guilt, because I feel like I “should” try and sell my stuff instead of giving/throwing it away. In 2001 I purchased 250 black & gold wool band uniforms for $100 at a garage sale from a man who bought them at a school surplus auction 4 years after the school originally paid $250,000 for them, only to find out they were too hot to wear in the Texas heat. Nine years later these 250 uniforms & hats are still crammed into a third bathroom, taking up every square inch from floor to ceiling, literally. I get tired thinking about marketing & shipping them, or throwing them away. The suckers are heavy; each one weighs about 10 pounds! So there they sit in the bathroom, year after year, And then there’s the bubble gum vending machines that I bought and was going to put out on location but have been sitting in the garage for a few years…

  • Mary Jo (Sam)

    The only china I own came from my husband’s great aunt, who worked for Easterling.
    She often took ‘rejects’ home, and had set after set. I just have a small set, but I love it because it reminds me of my late mother in law, who ended up owning it all. On the other hand, I have a sister who seeks out old china plates, buys them cheap, takes a hammer to them and sets them in cement to make garden stones!

  • Sue Sullivan

    Liana, I love your post about your china. What a beautiful life you have! And you definitely are enjoying your china in a life-enhancing way. You inspire me to keep those things I truly love and let go of those things I don’t, so my life is as enriched as you described.

  • Connie Dretske

    I’ve always loved this quote by Maria Montessori who said, “The proper environment for the soul is one in which an individual can move about with eyes closed and find, simply by reaching out his hand, anything he desires. Such an environment is necessary for peace and happiness.” If I keep too many “things” I may end up with only stubbed toes and bruised shins. That wouldn’t be good!

  • Linni

    teehee…i’m thinking maybe it is time to have a greek party…and use the china (or things you don’t want anymore) as ‘greek plates’…teehee…how much fun would that be?!

    Christine, thank you again…spot on for me tonite with my thoughts and things i was thinking about!

    • Ann Bell

      When you do, sweep up the shards & donate to your local center for creative use.
      See http://www.HoustonArtAsylum.com for links to your local center. Artists love these pieces for mosaics, jewelry, assemblages & more.

      Everyone wins!

  • Liana

    I certainly do not mean to offend anyone. I am a china lover. I never inherited any china from any family. None of my family ever had “real china” to pass down. When I heard about others inheriting the family china, I was envious! “The family china”, that must be so precious. So I have collected china over the years from different parts of the world, mostly picked up at flea markets. I can’t tell you how happy I was when I found a complete set of the most gorgeous china (forgot the maker) for only $750. What a deal. I did go through a phase where we didn’t use the china and always used the everyday dishes. But, the other day we had friends over for dinner with kids included. I had one of my sons help me set the table (i don’t see anything wrong with that, especially since I have 3 boys, somebody’s gotta help). Our friends felt so special. Well, okay, the wife and her daughters. They noticed the gorgeous china with flowers and butterflies (versace) and said how special they felt, that I went all out. We were in casual clothes with little ones running around enjoying each other’s company, oh, and music that does not go with china. After they left, my husband and I put everything in the dishwasher! The gold didn’t come off. If a plate gets chipped, it does smart a little bit, but, you have boxes of china, so what.

    I understand that this is a conversation on guilt, not china per say. But, with all of the china bashing, I just wanted to note that china can be used in a friendly and easy way.

    My mom keeps trying to give me all of my baby clothes from when I was a baby. I tell her, I don’t want that. Why would I want that. I don’t have any use for it at all. I don’t have any daughters. She can’t get rid of it. I told her just give it away and if you can’t (because of sentimental reasons), then just keep it. That is her issue, not my guilt!

  • Jonathan Lockwood

    “How many of the items in your environment are there because you love them and want them?”

    I’ve moved twice in the last four years. Big moves from Michigan to California–then California to Arizona. I think moving can force you to get real about your “stuff,” but now that I’m settled in a house that I own? I’m already beginning to see an accumulation. This week I resolve to start on it by clearing out my closet. I can probably get rid of thirty to forty percent of everything in there!

    Thanks!

  • debi

    This really is very important and I will take it in!!

    BTW, can you please put a “sharing” mode on your website, so I can Tweet or FaceBook your blog posts?

  • voni

    I got inspired by the call this week and managed to do a small de-cluttering of a section of my home. It’s a good point that you made about us giving ourselves a huge task so that we never get up and do it. That small piece was exhausting but doable.

    lora,
    what about taking a small piece of the fabric and making a decorative teddy bear or…??

  • Lora

    I’m a pretty good de clutterer, but the family collections do fill my purging heart with guilt. My Mother died in 1978 (I was 21) and I understandably saved four or five pieces of clothing that I loved seeing her in. Well, they’ve hung in every closet I’ve owned since. Covered in heavy black plastic bags. With a correspondingly heavy layer of dust on the shoulders.

    Perhaps today is the day. Maybe the local thrift/vintage clothing store will loooove what remains of my Mom’s fabulous wardrobe.

    • Gary Tigges

      Perhaps a small quilted item to hang on the wall, or a mat background for a favorite photo.

  • Mindful Mimi

    Christine,
    Thank Goodness China is not close to where our family comes from. I did not get any of that old China passed on. Maybe because we were too poor to possess any. Come to think of it, I did not really get any material heritage laden with guilt. I was left with the odd emotional clutter that we all struggle with and that is normal and I am getting rid of that too 🙂
    We do declutter our house regularly: wardrobes, basement, cupboards etc. And we have a big enough family and friends who are happy with it. And we will push things on people either to make THEM feel guilty. If we have a doubt, we prefer to give it away to a charity.
    Thanks for that reminder. I guess it’s about time we had another go at it 🙂
    Mimi

  • Sue Sullivan

    This is great, Christine. Another issue I’ve had with letting go of clutter is not realizing that things can be ‘hell yes’ now and not so a year or more down the line. I’ve spent a lot of energy trying to create things that would fit for the rest of my life, when the reality is as I grow, I grow out of things, and that’s part of the process. So now it’s time to let go of the old ‘hell yeses’ and open up to the new 🙂

  • Emm

    I just sold my grandmother’s china on ebay. I spent more on the shipping materials than I sold it for but I didn’t care. I was saying good-bye, honoring her memories and sending it on to someone who will hopefully use it. I am so glad I did it.

  • Vicky

    Well. I plucked the log from my own eye, so to speak and knuckled down and cleared some of MY clutter from the room that was supposed to be my study. I could have a usable room by the end of the week. Here’s to personal responsibility! 🙂

  • Anna

    My mother recently informed me that she was “putting my sister in charge of the furniture” because I didn’t care about the family stuff. Okey dokey, I said….she doesn’t relaize that it only took 5 retreats and 2 e-seminars (that’s Uplevel Your Life in it’s prior life) to get me to a mere shrug of the shoulders….take that Ms. Guilt!

  • Tim (360 Degree Self)

    Christine:

    Bless you for this post. I’ve recently come to the realization that I really need to clear the clutter in my life because it is sucking my energy and weighing on me. It is also interesting to learn that guilt could be part of the reason we hold onto things. In any case, I see that you have included the related post of 56 things I can toss out now. I’ve been looking for that post for a while – I will check that out.

    Tim “Soon to Be Clutter Free” in Chicago

  • Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord

    The comments are almost as good as the post – I love it!

    I Feng Shui’d my living space very deliberately last summer to remove traces of old boyfriends, ex-friends, etc. and within three days the Universe sent in brand new love (amazing amazing love), and a few new friends, to boot! I say declutter and let new energy in!

  • Lisa – Life is Like a Box of Legos

    I wrestled with the idea of letting go of my “good china, silver, crystal” over a decade ago. My conclusion, which is not for everyone, was to use it (yes, every day) … and much to my mother’s chagrin, I put most of it in the dishwasher (on the china cycle). I figured that I spent a lot of energy picking it out and asked myself the hard question … why have it if I don’t use it? I didn’t like the idea of it filling up space and collecting dust and yes, I did feel guilty for not using it (exactly to the point of this post). So my solution was to use it – I do like it, it is me … maybe I went a bit overboard though or maybe it’s because I had the “good stuff” but didn’t have the “every day” – so when it came to a choice between Dixie paper vs. Lenox … I opted for Lenox (too lazy to go to the store to buy more paper plates? – maybe). Admittedly, after about a year, a few pieces became “worn” (read chipped) and I lost a stem or three after year seven … but it’s fun – I don’t “revere it” or wonder why I have it anymore … and oddly enough, I don’t begin to hyperventilate when someone starts gesturing wildly with my Waterford … it’s just stuff. I will say, though … that when it’s gone, I may considering opting for something a bit different … but who knows? I agree with Christine though … the guilt was definitely a factor – I just chose to use it instead of lose it … but no doubt there are probably a few other things I can clean out of those closets … thanks for the gentle reminder!

    • Ann Bell

      If enough gets broken that you are considering replacing it, remember that thrift shops, including Goodwill, Salvation Army, & smaller church stores, frequently have all sorts of vintage stuff at good prices. AND it’s more interesting if it doesn’t all match.

      They also welcome donations.

      Other sources are freecycle, and your local center for creative reuse.
      In Houston, ours is http://www.HoustonArtAsylum.com They have links to centers all over the US. You can give them your old stuff…or offer it on freecycle.

  • Lynne

    After this weekend’s awesome Power of Intention retreat, I have been decluttering and making a gargantuan stack of stuff that is being taken over to my friend’s mom’s garage sale this Friday (perfect timing!). There are so many things going in there that I have held on for so long, thinking that it was my duty to do so — how freeing it is to let them go! Someone else can love the set of 12 brass plate chargers that my mother gave me — the stiff business suits that haven’t been worn since the late 1990’s — and tons of other stuff that I have been too fearful to let go. Thank you, Christine, for an amazing weekend — and a continuing week of liberation!

  • Vicky

    What do you do when your husband is the one who can’t let things go and thinks he will find a use for most anything “some day,” not to mention the clutter EVERYWHERE? We have a second bedroom in the house that we moved into that was supposed to be my study, but instead it is filled with unpacked boxes of stuff that we have no place for, and nowhere to store. I think I created this by “knowing” that this was going to happen, but what do I do now?

    • Ann Bell

      I respectfully suggest that you put his stuff in “his” space. ‘When it is in his way, he will decide what to do with it.

  • Diane

    De-cluttering is something I feel like I will always be working on. I’ve often said I just don’t have the “throw away” gene. Thanks for the inspiration. I’d already told my son yesterday that his room was on the hit list for today. I do happen to love my china and I realized I need to use it more often. Not just for special meals! I think I might just chunk my everyday china! Thanks again Christine.

  • Deanne

    I sold some china my mother gave me (which wasn’t a family heirloom, but it had all the same guilt attached:) a few years ago for $750. My mom said “it was worth $5,000!” but it wasn’t really. It might have been retail, and it was beautiful but who wants china with gold on it that doesn’t go in dishwasher? The woman who bought it had a collection – she was happy. I never felt better about exchanging 4 boxes of heavy stuff for $750 bucks! It was fantastic. Great post. Thanks

  • Brandy

    I’m a total clutterholic, so this hits close to home. Very thankful there’s no china lurking in my cabinets even if everything else is.

    Obviously, if you have china really worth something and you want to get money for it, take the time to sell it. But I think we use “it’s worth something” as a way to not act/declutter and then feel guilty about that TOO. Even though the feeling of uplift and relief won’t get me cashola, I try to enter that into my equation when I’m thinking about getting rid of something.

    One thing to consider, in general, is Freecycle.org. It’s a series of local email groups where you can post things you no longer want, as long as you are giving them away for free. My local group is very large and very well moderated, which is great. I’ve always had polite, friendly, punctual people receive my stuff.

    My mom once gave me a lovely rice cooker that was too big for my household of one or my cabinet. I bought a smaller one and posted about the gifted one on Freecycle. A woman responded and picked it up, thrilled to have a rice cooker for her family. The weirdest thing I ever posted was a box of scraps of wigs. I know, it’s WEIRD, but there is a point… My mom is a wig stylist and I used to make dolls and use to wigs pieces for them. Well, it took awhile to get a response, but there was a woman beyond thrilled to see my offer because she was part of a group who made “chemo caps” for women with cancer. She looked forward to sewing in little curls of hair along the front and sides of the caps so the wearer would look like they had hair. I was delighted to hand over the box to her.

    I know I’m getting longwinded, but I can’t agree more that these object ARE energy and if you can free up some of it and pass it along to people who can USE what you don’t want, it’s wonderful. The goodwill of giving things away is valuable.

  • Ann White

    I find the the clutter in my physical space mirrors the clutter in my body; when I want to lose weight, I declutter my space.

    Re: old mementos — take a photo of them and donate them to a good cause. Then you will always have the photo if you need to remember the old stuff.

    Life leaner and greener!

  • Emily

    I’ve made it very clear I’m not a heirloom taker – the only thing anyone in the family even asks me about anymore are books, my other grandmother’s paintings & carvings, and quilts. My brothers have not learned this skill of clarity and end up with much of the stuff I preemptively refused.

    My mom ended up with 3 sets of china after my dad’s parents died and pawned two sets off on my brothers. She didn’t even bother asking me if I wanted the 3rd one (I’m a very much pottery, mish-mash, stoneware, sturdy kinda dish gal) – she just put the last set in a box to take to Good Will. 🙂

  • Deb

    Five cartons in my parents’ basement in 1995 that we discovered had not been opened (despite being moved at least 5 times) since 1953. And then there were 5 chipped but once cute holly etched water glasses that were delivered with the words that they came from grandmother C and the P’s were never to have them. Trust me they were unusable and even the P’s wouldn’t have wanted them anyway. But it still took 5 years to pitch them.

    Now I have my half of 35 years crammed in a one bedroom apt and guilt or no guilt it has to go; and toeing that resolve was part of the motivation for choosing a one bedroom. And I so resemble this post. Of course there is another little issue which I mentioned in my own post last week, fear that my life, family and accomplishments will disappear with the stuff. And no it won’t.

  • Stuart

    One day I was struggling with the guilt of not knowing how to use some things that had come from my family. Budd, an older and very wise friend that I worked with looked at me and in his very charming most southern accent said, “If your grandmama left you a recipe for biscuits and it didn’t work would you keep baking them?” It lifted a ton of weight off my shoulder’s instantly and everytime I struggle with such guilt I think back to Budd and with a smile let go of what ever isn’t working!

  • Jenn

    Oh…I have so many thoughts!!

    1. To Stacey: Your story reminded me of something very powerful – we change the world with our conviction, honesty, and example. You had a conviction that you didn’t want anything around you that you don’t love. You were lovingly honest with your mom. You set an example for her, in context, of what it can look like to live with conviction and honesty…and that just may have allowed her to do the same! Amazing. You go, woman!

    2. I have been carrying around china (that I got when I was 20) through over a 1/2 dozen moves, four states and across the country. I have used it once. Two weeks ago, during yet another move, I finally called my mom (who bought the bulk of it) and offered it to her. She was ecstatic!! I think she has been secretly coveting it for the past 20 years as I have been secretly loathing it. This is all *very* win-win. 🙂

    3. Let’s debunk the myth that brides *need* china. HEY! maybe we could gather during Christine’s three day de-cluttering event, and instead of passing our erroneous china myth down to those wide-eyed 20 year old brides, let’s all together smash our china plates in a huge, releasing, roaring orgy of debunkment (that’s a word, right?)and then use all the pretty shards to make an amazing mosaic of some kind…sorta like burning bras in the 60’s, only in the end we will have art instead of ash. Just a thought.

    Excellent, pertinent article.
    Many thanks!

  • Kristin

    This reminds me of a story – my Mother-in-law wa showing me around her china cabinet one day explaining what everything was, where she got it, etc., when she came to these really ugly, horrible, hideous bowl type things. I kind of gasped a bit and asked about them – she said “They are very expensive, we got them as a wedding gift. When you inherit them promise me you will never sell them.” I immediately asked if SHE had ever used them and she said no, they were too ugly, but they were a wedding gift, so she could never give them away or sell them. I told her that I loved her. And then made a mental note to not accept those dishes.

    I have enough stuff that I can’t seem to get rid of for one reason or another – I don’t need guilt saddled on it before I even get it!

    Excellent article. Thank you

  • Christine Kane

    maybe i should have one big massive retreat that is just a three-day de-clutter event. people could drive here from all over the country with boxes of stuff like old china – and we could also invite a big bunch of new brides in their early 20’s and old grandmas who still collect that china – and just hang out and let the energy change hands! 🙂

    (nancy, when i got married i told everyone i only wanted pottery and that i would only ever eat on cool pottery. and you’re right – the best meals are the spontaneous hang out on the sofa, eat with your hands, laugh all night meals!)

  • Giulietta

    Pretty funny post Christine,

    Yes, it’s all about giving ourselves permission to do what we want.

    Memory, I’d “recycle” it on ebay or a consignment shop. There are lots of people who truly love vintage anything. It’s not that the item is old or new, it’s just not your taste.

    Off to the Salvation Army with some stuff I don’t want!

    G.

  • Stacey

    @memory: I think a great option for the china and flatware that you don’t want, but want to give a “good home” is Replacements, Ltd.

    People go to them to find replacements for pieces that are missing from their collection, so Replacements pays good money to folks who supply them with their unwanted sets.

    My mom let me sell her “wedding” set and we made a lot of money for something that was collecting dust in her attic!

    Here’s the link: http://www.replacements.com/misc/packship.htm

  • Catherine Cantieri, Sorted

    Great post! I feel lucky to have escaped the clutches of “the good china,” but I’m willing to bet there’s something else lurking in my house that falls into that category. Thanks for the inspiration to do some sleuthing and figure out what that might be.

  • Stacey

    Last week I was helping my mom declutter her garage and she handed me a paper maiche doll my grandmother made for me over 30 years ago. She said, “Here, you should have this.” I said that I didn’t love it (I have other things from my grandmother that I *do* love), and I didn’t want it.

    She was upset by this and asked me what was going to happen to all the things that she wanted me to keep “in the family” after she was gone.

    Because I saw that it was painful for her to think I would not want *any* of it, and I wanted to soothe her (not from guilt but because I love her), I said that I was willing to keep whatever she wanted. But if I didn’t love it, it would go in my attic. And I would offer the stuff to my son or any other family members who might want it, but if they didn’t want it I would not compel them to take it.

    She still looked a little upset, but let the matter drop. At the end of the day she gave me the paper maiche doll and a ton of other stuff I thought she’d never let go and said, “Please take this stuff to Goodwill or where ever you think it might best go.”

    Since that day, it is obvious that a shift has happened in her and she has been letting go of so much clutter. It is really exciting to watch!

  • NancyCz

    It was so much fun to pick it out. And imagine it set on my table. And imagine people sitting around musing over politics and film while enjoying a lovely meal.

    And then I say, “Who the hell is that?” Because, let’s face it. So much better is the meal thrown together by family and friends, eaten off our every day plates in our everyday clothes on our everyday topics.

    Thanks for yet another reminder of how important it is to be real.

    (our china (we received 3 settings for the wedding) sits, in the boxes, on the shelf of the closet in Kris’ office) ;o)

  • Memory

    My ‘good china’ isn’t gathering dust. That’s because it is still packed away in boxes from our last move! (so the boxes are gathing dust.) When we have company over and use the ‘good china’ we’re talking about paper plates. Time to get congruent! I know it is time to let it go.
    The second problem then is “How do I get rid of this responsibly?” (i.e. do I sell it on ebay, try an antique dealer, how do I get what I *don’t* love into the hands of someone who will?) But I absolutely LOVE decluttering! I am able to literally *feel* the difference in my space when I get rid of unwanted and unloved things.

  • Christine Kane

    Jesann – you’re absolutely right, of course!

    tracy – it can be surprising when you come to the awareness that you have SUCH different tastes than everyone expected you to have. i’ve heard back from so many of the women who come to my retreats that the choice to move fully into their preferences and delight has made SUCH a difference in their success and happiness!

  • Tracy

    Hi Christine,
    Though I never had the china issue, I have plenty of others. Right now it’s an antique settee that was given to me by my aunt AND I spent money to recover -the double cling-to-it whammy for me. It’s sitting in the basement after a short stint in the living room. It’s beautiful, but just not me. We like “flop down on it” furniture and this looks more like I need to hold a cup of tea poured in some of that “good china” everyone is trying to get rid of :-).

    I am realizing more and more how much my space affects my well being and trying to purge accordingly! Time to find it a good home-Thanks for the reminder.

  • Jesann

    The guilt in these cases is totally self-created. Easiest way to get rid of guilt from something like family china is to call the family and tell them you’re getting rid of it, and if any of them want it they can have it. Chances are they won’t argue. (If anyone whines that she should hang on to it for a little longer, she should ship it to them immediately.) Just went through this myself, except with a silverware set I’d been lugging around for literally 17 years. I called my mother about selling the set, fully expecting some drama, only to hear: “Hope you get a great price for it.” 🙂