"Hell Maybe!" - Christine Kane

nohellmaybeMovement starts with decision.

Change starts with decision.

Creating something new starts with decision.

Decision is “Intention with legs.”  When you set an intention to make changes in your life, it won’t take long for the Universe to present you with opportunities and choices that will make you very clear about your direction and your desires. (And your power!)

Some of these choices will be terrifying and totally uncomfortable.  Some will be old patterns dug up from your past.   Some will require that you take a huge risk.  Some will require that you let go and say, “Not so much.”

Let’s take Emma for instance.

Years ago, Emma was a client of mine.  She came to an event, scared to stand up in front of the group. She was miserable in her job. She hated where she lived. She had settled for everything in her life from her relationship to her career.

During the two days, her path became obvious. And with the encouragement of the women there, Emma returned home knowing it was time to make some decisions.

Less than three months later, Emma moved to Colorado – where she has always dreamed of living. (But never admitted to anyone until that year.)  She attracted her ideal job. She created an entire new paradigm for herself and her life.

Here’s what she said with a big grin on her face:   “If you saw my new office compared to my old one, it’s so funny!  I look out of these big glass windows at snow-capped mountains. At my last job, I looked out at a construction site. Everything is so different now!”

Her shift has been fast. Lightning fast. It can take your breath away.

Are we allowed to move that quickly?  Absolutely!

In fact, successful people will tell you that they’ve learned to make decisions in the blink of an eye.

It’s tempting to think that “Yes!” is a decision that will bring velocity, motion, and change.  But you’ll learn that “No!” can also create speed as well.

Emma’s first decision upon returning home was to say “No” to her dead-end job.  She stopped waiting for them to make a decision to fire her.  Instead she started creating her own decisions.  She said “No” to the renewal on her condo lease as well.  She said no to some of her relationships.

Her yesses didn’t come until after she said a whole bunch of no’s.

People get stuck not because they don’t know what to do.  People get stuck when they stop making decisions. (Perhaps even because they stop making decisions.)   They get stuck when they stop saying Yes or No.

Instead they put everything on halt and say “Maybe.”

“Maybe” is where we settle for things instead of choosing them.

“Maybe” provides the illusion that we can stay safe.

“Maybe” makes people around us comfortable because we’re not threatening their status quo.

“Maybe” often tells me that people are still a little afraid of their own power.  “Maybe” is our way of saying, “Yea, well, I’m not sure I want to live with the consequences of my choice.”

Not making decisions doesn’t keep you safe. It just creates an atmosphere of settling.  “Maybe” works for a little while.  And sometimes, it’s necessary.   However, “maybe” is often just fear of making a decision.

Most of us know our yesses and no’s almost instantly.  We know our passions.  We know what we want.  Even if we think we don’t know what we want, we most certainly know what we don’t want.

The stuff that comes after that instant knowing is just mental ruminating that keeps us stuck.

Stuck saying Maybe.

So, from now on, find a more empowered choice than Maybe.

Here’s a mantra to live by:

“If it’s not a Hell Yes, it’s a Hell No. No one ever says “Hell Maybe!”

  • Maria Schwartz

    Love it! Great perspective on the limits of “maybe.” I used to say that “probably” was a lot better than “maybe” but it still implied uncertainty.

  • Jenivieve

    This idea of being either completely affirmative or not is pretty profound. If you live in the “maybe’s” you don’t really persue anything you believe in. It’s a passive way of living. I like the way that Christine lays out the idea of finding happiness by only living in the “hell yeah” territory. Thanks for the insight!

  • Shawnee Kilgore

    Also, awesome question Nneka! How do we possibly make something so simple so unbelievably difficult? This question will better my life. In a big way. Thanks!

  • Shawnee Kilgore

    Next time I automatically jump to saying maybe (like I do) I’m going to make myself say, “Hell maybe!” ‘Cause I won’t be able to 🙂 Thanks for the laughter and the lightening of burdens today.

  • Nneka, Working Mystic

    Once you decide what you want, all the other requests fall into the category of, “is this helping or hurting”. Asking the helping or hurting question makes my decision-making lightning fast. That also assumes that I stay engaged with my goals 🙂

  • MartyH

    Just what I needed to hear. Thanks!

    And yes, there are guys who like your message and read your blog.

  • kiran

    Please tell me how to change myself and become like RAM GOPAL VARMA(Indian film maker).And I want to become movie director.

  • Jeanne B

    Oh, to escape from the Land of Maybe…

    This one really hit home for me. I suspect I’m half about wanting to stay safe and not decide, and half about being in that space where I feel it’s not time to make the decision final yet.

    Take my parents’ home, for example. I know that eventually I will sell it and use the money to launch me into the stratosphere, but now/today isn’t that day. (And I’ve always had the sense that my future lies elsewhere, and being here is only temporary.) Other things have to happen first (meaning, I have to make some absolute “Yes” decisions about other things, LOL) before I can turn that “maybe” into a “Hell Yes”.

    Yet, the interesting thing is, one of my main struggles IS just managing to hold onto the danged house. I keep finding myself in the position of just barely being able to scrape together the property tax payments in the nick of time, but somehow, I manage, thanks to temporary part-time second jobs and things that drop out of the sky at the last minute, since it’s nearly impossible to afford on my permanent part-time job that has yet to turn into a full-time job and probably won’t, because… sorry about the run-on sentence, but deep down I know I don’t want a full-time position that will “trap” me where I am, even though fiscally-speaking I need one to be able to support my life AND to save up so I can move forward.

    Yeah, that was longer than I’d intended. 🙂 Anyway… I’d like to reserve one express ticket leaving the Land of Maybe and headed to Hell Yes, please.

  • Ramona King

    I think a lot of “Maybes” is why life can often times feel like one bowl of spilled soup. Thanks for the clarity Christine.

  • Wendy

    Hell YES! It’s so liberating when you get to this place. It gets easier and easier to say no…especially when you know, live and breathe your intention. Facing my fears has turned into recognizing drama as it heads my way and then knowing what to say and/or do to deflect it. POW! Thanks Christine!

  • Maria

    On the “Maybe works for a little while, and sometimes it is necessary”… I think there are two kinds of maybe. The “maybe” where we just let things happen and the conscious, chosen “maybe”, where we feel it is not yet time to make that decision. Where we need that space for maybe´s, and we are conscious that it is temporary. I think allowing ourselves these kinds of “maybe´s” can be healthy and can help to move on. Like saying “I know I´m not ready now to make this decision, but I know I will be”.

  • Suellen

    Wow, I love this new mantra! It goes right along with my mantra from the 80’s song that I’ve said for years,,, “If you chose not to decide, you still have made a choice!”

    Christine, you have a way of making things seems so logical. Thanks for inspiration!

    • Christine Kane

      Thanks Suellen!

      (Okay – and WHICH 80’s song is that??)

      • M@

        That is the song Freewill by Rush.