My Platinum Coaching & Mastermind group met in Charleston, SC for our first in-person retreat this past weekend. Each of the ten women spent one hour in front of the group. This was her time for coaching, masterminding, and getting support and clarity for new directions and ideas she is generating in her life and work.
As is always the case in situations like this, some of the presentations changed directions, and all sorts of unexpected aha’s occurred.
One of the women – I’ll call her Sylvia – became aware of a huge change that she wants to make in her life. As this awareness dawned on her, the group remarked at how her eyes lit up with a combination of both terror and excitement. It was obvious to everyone (including Sylvia herself) that she needed to do this thing.
“But, ohmigod, it’s just so scary!” she said.
I stopped her right there and shared something that happened to me in my own life recently.
I, too, am in a mastermind and coaching group. We had our first in-person meeting a few weeks ago in Florida. I returned from that with a plan laid out for a new idea around my upcoming CD release that thrills me and scares me, too. When I was telling my friend Joy all about it that week on the phone, she was giddy with excitement for me. And I said, “Yea, but ohmigod. I’m so freakin’ scared!”
Joy interrupted me, and asked a question.
She said, “Christine, how many more times do you want to say that – even to yourself – before you are just done saying it?”
What Joy was asking was this:
How much longer do you want to keep infusing this cool idea with the energy of your fear? How much longer do you want to play small and share your smallness with other people? How much time do you want to waste in fear before you’ll take the necessary action steps to move forward?
When I told Sylvia about Joy’s question, she stood up straight and said, “You’re right. I’m done. I’m done now.”
I said, “Are you sure?”
And she said, “Yea. I’m done saying it. I can do this.”
I applauded Sylvia’s clarity and courage. She knew she was moving forward with no more need for ruminating on fear.
I wasn’t nearly as brave.
When Joy posed that question to me, I had to pause and think about it.
Then I said, “Three more times.”
She said, “Yea? Three more?” And I said, “Yep. That’ll do it.”
I imagined that I was standing at a ticket booth, and someone was handing me three tickets – like they give you at the summer carnivals in the mall parking lot. I’ve used two of them since that phone call. And now that I’ve written this blog post – I’ve just pulled the last ticket stub out of my pocket and let go of that last reminder of the thing that stops us all in our tracks over and over again.
It’s okay to be scared, or overwhelmed, or nervous, or out of your comfort zone. But ask yourself this question:
How many more times do you want to say it?