Every now and then, I read an article that I want to pass along to my readers.
Last week, Pam at Escape from Cubicle Nation wrote an excellent post about meeting people you admire, and how to approach the situation with grace and ease.
I’ve met many famous people in my career in the entertainment industry. Now that I’m doing speaking engagements, I’m meeting some authors that I adore as well. In some situations I’ve been completely open, ego-free, and comfortable. Other times, not so much. (My experience is that it has nothing to do with my behavior, and everything to do with how centered and at peace I am.)
Pam’s post takes us through a list of things not to do when you approach someone you admire. She also offers alternatives to the offending (and mostly anxiety-ridden) behaviors.
So, since it’s summer time, and no one is even on their computers reading blogs, I’ll add my own story to the list of things not to do…
Many years ago, I was riding in my friend’s car through downtown Asheville. We were stopped at a light, and I looked out my window and saw Deepak Chopra just standing there on the corner. “Omigod!” I shouted while thumping my finger repeatedly on the inside of the window. “That’s Deepak Chopra!”
Without even thinking, I jumped out of her car and started running towards him. When I was about half way to him, my mom appeared. There she was just standing in my head. She stood there and asked the same question she had asked me hundreds of times in my life:
“What in the name of God are you doing?”
So, when I was about six feet from Deepak, I did an abrupt U-turn and ran in the opposite direction and waited for my friend to drive around the block and pick me up. Needless to say, Deepak’s been a big fan of my music ever since I made that fine first impression on him. (And they say musicians don’t like to network!)
Even though this was not one of the items on Pam’s “What to Avoid” list, I’ll enthusiastically add: “Don’t charge towards people without any idea of what you’re doing whilst your mom is talking in your head.”
In college I worked for the university president’s catering corps which put me in close proximity to all kinds of dignitaries whom we were expected to serve professionally and NOT GUSH over like ninnies. That was good preparation for 17 years as a military officer’s wife which often carried the expectation of hosting, welcoming, or escorting an even higher level of officials and dignitaries from senators to generals to ambassadors. While there is the occasional person who is offended by a lack of gushing most have grown weary of it and just want to eat their lunch in peace like a regular person.
I still have memories of watching people rush up to my famous charge and blurt out “Oh my goodness, do you know who you are?” And trying to keep a straight face until they flit away. Hilarious.
These are so much fun to read!
fivecats – i don’t think you gave me a hard time about not BLOGGING regularly. i think you gave me a hard time about not writing my Notes From the Road enough. that was before blogs – and i barely remember you saying that. (but believe me – if it vaguely resembles criticism – my memory has elephant-like capacities!)
jannie – if you said anything to me in the line for the port-a-pottie, I’d probably say something like – “can i cut in front of you cuz i really gotta pee!”
lisa – uh. i had to look up who derek jeter is. oh well. when it comes to sports, i only know the tarheels.
linda – welcome! no need to change names. we welcome all lindas! (and all marks too!)
pat k. – well, all i gotta say is that if martin sheen walked into my elevator, i’d simply just fall over. or i’d call him jed bartlett.
pamela slim, darling – see what you started?? and it sounds like your mom and my mom were very much the same. my favorite uncle frank took me to toys r us and got me a barbie doll and I was so thrilled – but my mom marched us right back up there and made us return her. don’t know if i’ll ever get over it! 🙂
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA. Hilarious story! It sounds like rushing and charging towards people enthusiastically is great advice. LOL.
I used to have a huge gigantic crush on Philip Seymour Hoffman. I also lived in NYC and I found out where all his off-Broadway plays were (this was before he was famous) and I used to follow him around every where. I would give him gifts. THINGS NOT TO DO. Do not stalk. Do not give gifts. One time, I even got invited to a party where he was (I don’t even know how that transpired) and it was in a some bar, some huge catered party, and I spent the whole night lurking behind sofas and wall dividers, just staring at him, unbelieving that we were in the same room. oh God. LOL. I cringe now.
That is so funny! :^) Here in Los Angeles, celebrity-sightings are sort of blase; it’s usually out-of-towners who gush, lol. Evenso, it’s startling how “normal” they appear in person. I think, many go unrecognized for this reason. I’ve seen tons of “stars” just out grocery shopping! It’s kind of fun to just pass them with a smile or make eye contact and say, “Hey.” 🙂 I believe they’re quite relieved!
They’re just like the rest of us, afterall ;^)
patk., drooling — Lol!
I’m a newcomer to your blog, Christine, and I see another Linda — should I change my name?
Forgot to tell my tale of meeting a famous person. Living in Manhattan for 8 years, we met quite a few famous peeps on the street. One day, after a double-root canal, my face all numb, drooling, into this TEENY TINY elevator walks Martin Sheen. I stood right next to him. I about died. When the elevator doors opened at the ground floor, we all let HIM get out first. Then, he held both sets of doors open FOR ME (going out of the building), the grinning, drooling idiot! I didn’t say a thing except Thank You.
I can just see you bouncing along, arms outstretched, then doing a quick U-turn and hopping back in the car. All done in Mad Magazine artist Don Martin style cartoon. ;-D Thanks for the laugh.
Hi Christine
Haha that’s funny! Years ago I used to busk on the streets of Manchester in the UK. One day a famous UK actor stopped to listen. I thought I was doing very well carrying on singing even though I was completely overwhelmed – until I realised my dog who I always took with me had wandered over and stuck her head in his bag to retrieve a sandwich he had just bought. Luckily he saw the funny side! One way to make an impression!
Hi Christine,
You and Pam are 2 of my favorite people-so any advice you pass along, I will adhere to.
– Next time you see Deepak Chopra-do NOT run and charge: check.
= )
I’m pretty sure a Grammy-winning songstress took her kid out of the same school my kid goes to because at the fall camping trip as we both stood in line for the porta-potty I dared asked her if she was having a nice weekend.
But somehow, I feel if I asked the same of Christine Kane in line for the porta potty, I would at least receive a “Yeah, having lots of fun, and you?”
Thanks for sharing such a great story to illustrate the post Christine! I had to cover my mouth to not laugh here at my desk since I just got the kids to sleep. I LOVE the visual of you charging towards Deepak then running back to the car.
Oh,lord, we all do such funny things in the name of love! Fan love is a special kind of head-over-heels, and I am certainly guilty myself.
I worship you and want to be like you when I grow up! No shame about it, and I will gush over you like I did when I got my first Barbie (and getting a Barbie was no easy feat– my Mom was such a staunch feminist that she refused to buy me one. Our neighbor finally felt so bad for me that she broke down and got me one. Ah, the 1970s! Now you understand my adoration of Gloria Steinem) 🙂
-Pam
as usual, Christine,
your message made me smile all the way into my eyes.Â
LOVE knowing that someone else has their mom in their head.it’s also been fun reading how your message has encouraged others to share their favorite *famous* people encounter stories.
here’s my fav – in an airport i was swapping stories and lessons with this nice guy who was waiting for the same flight as me.long story short – after MaNy people asked him for his autograph, i asked if i should know him – who was he – and what what was his celebrity?he simply said his name was Derek. he lived in New York and worked in Sales.  as we were boarding, the guy behind me in line told me that Derek’s last name was Jeter.  HA!
soooooooo… mayhaps an additional blog possibility would be how to deal WAY GRACIOUSLY with adoring fans who can’t skip the U-turn or don’t even know they need to .
thanks.
Very funny Deepak story Christine! Life’s random encounters.
(By the way, this is Mark (of Creative Journey Cafe), your faithful regular commenter. The other Mark is an imposter.)
I met Bruce Springsteen at a coffee shop in Concord Mass about a month ago. I stood in line behind him, gave him a friendly pat on the back, and discreetly whispered, “Hey man, just want to say thanks for all the great music.”
I can’t believe I called Bruce Springsteen “man”. And he still smiled and shook my hand and said “Aw, thanks.”
Well, I do like to think I don’t gush too much since I have a laid back persona. It is funny you wrote about this because a friend and I were just discussing what it will be like when you play here in Fort Worth Oct. 10. I will attempt to be genuine without being obnoxious! Fair enough? I do think I went overboard when I got to go back stage and meet the Rolling Stones about 15 years ago. However, they were all very gracious and just nodded and smiled as I blabbed. Looking forward to meeting you! 🙂
What I loved most was that your Mom was in your head! Kudos to you and your Mom for creating such a wonderful relationship.
Good advice. The key is to remember that even those we admire and may place on a pedestal truly are just like the rest of us, no need to act differently than you would with anyone else you might meet. If you do find yourself acting differently the bigger question may be to ask why you don’t act that way when you meet what you consider ordinary people.
Christine, Thanks for sharing. I love the personal touch you have and look forward to meeting you in Fort Worth when you play here. To be sure, I promise not to rush you while Mom is talking in my head. That said, if I rush you with my fingers in my ears, while loudly saying “Blah, blah, blah, blah…” you should run away quickly. 😀
Irene, I am with you. People are people, and we all have different jobs, so why should I treat a professional janitor any differently than a professional entertainer, or the CEO of a large corporation, or….
my sentiments exactly, mags!
however, I am not going to promise to even try to be cool. i will stumble and be awkward and you will laugh, hopefully, with me because you will know that you have touched my life deeply and have helped me to grow.
one day back in the 80s i was working at the kite site and from the store window i saw tommy keene walking across the street. at the time he was one of my favorite DC area musicians. before i could stop myself i had run out of the store, yelled out his name and found myself gushing, “I’m a big fan! I have all of your records!”
and then having nothing else to say.
he and his friend exchanged weird glances and he thanked me and i slunk off back to the kite store and vowed never to do anything like that ever again.
that was how, when i met you years later, i was able to just give you a hard time about not blogging regularly. 🙂
…
Oh Christine, so you mean that when I finally meet you I can’t charge towards you yelling “omigod, you’re the best and I worship you!” 🙂
You are the best, of course, but I’ll try to be cool when the day eventually comes, I promise.
Christine, that’s hilarious! And a lesson well worth learning, too. Thanks for the link to the article. The big thing that’s helped me is reminding myself that these famous people really are just normal people with a super-cool job and/or lots of talent. That’s it. True or not, it helps.
Hi Christine- I just discovered your site when I googled vision boards and I just have to tell you how much I have enjoyed reading your blog posts and how happy I am to have discovered your music. Fantastic! I was looking for your latest CD on itunes and I don’t see it…Is it available to purchase there? Or only through your website?
I met Bruce Greenwood in Peggy’s Cove Nova Scotia. We were in line to pay our bills. My friend ask me if I knew who was standing behind? As I turned around I smile and said yes mentioned his name and turn back to my friend. He did smile back and that was the end of it. I met a few authors, muscisians and I made a conscious choice of treating them the way I would like to be treated. The response is quite different than what I saw from others. Most of the time my shyness will keep me at a distance. The other thing I tell myself is they are regular people too that may want to just enjoy their day.
First of all, what am I doing at my computer on such a nice day??? Hmmm…
Funny story Christine! I tend to hold back, not wanting to “disturb” someone famous – I should probably be a bit more assertive. I’ll have to work on that (but not overdo it)- lest I fall into one of the fanboy traps!
Linda – I assure you that he wouldn’t even remember you! Most people like this are meeting so many people that it’d be impossible to single out one person.
I was at a party of mostly English people when I spotted Peter Mayle, the author of A Year In Provence and many other books. Unfortunately I had had a few glasses of wine so when I met him I gushed all over him. I am so embarrassed when I think back to my behavior. I’m hoping he won’t remember me should we ever meet again. I expect he must be used to it-especially from Americans.