If Copywriters Wrote Song Titles... - Christine Kane

I love ad copy. And I love writing magnetic, catchy headlines on my blog. But it makes me wonder…

What if copywriters wrote song titles?

This is a snapshot of what the Rolling Stone Greatest Songs of All Time would look like…

#1Rock-Solid Proof that your Life Lacks Direction and Purpose

#2The One Immutable Law of Persuasive World Changing

#3Five Irrefutable Reasons Jude Should Listen to Me

#4A Must-Smell Formula for Injecting your World with Youthful Enthusiasm

#5Give me Three Minutes and I’ll Give You Indisputable Proof that I was Happier 24 Hours Ago

#6The Most Shocking Place to Discover the Solutions to All your Problems!

#7The Lazy Man’s Guide to Creating a Simplified To-Do List

#8Single? No Problem! Here’s How to Add 87% More Joy to Your Life!

#9How to Tell a Woman She’s Unattractive and STILL Get Her to Have Sex with You

#10Do You Recognize these 12 Early Warning Signs of an Apocalypse?

#1141 Can’t-Miss Ways to Improve your Stalking Skills

#125 Surefire Ways to Create a Riff that Will Piss Off Every Music Store Clerk from Here to Eternity

28 COMMENTS ADD A COMMENT
  • Copywriting Nottingham

    Such a funny list, great picks!

  • Damon Medic

    This is hilarious stuff!

  • Jeniffer

    What a great and funny list!
    Made my smile for the day.:-D
    Should I be worried that I knew what the songs were?

  • Roman Budzowski

    My personal favorite is #12. I’ve been learning playing guitar so I know that it’s one of the first thing you want to learn to play πŸ˜€

  • Elaine

    …ps sorry about the grammar – writing this very quickly!

  • Elaine

    These are great!

    I can see these being used in the UK as a quiz round at a local ‘Pub Quiz’ (a cultural thing here.

    This is where a local Pub usually had a quiz night once a month (on a mid-week quiet night to draw customers in!)It involves small teams, beer and lots of rounds of questions about music, general knowledge etc,and the winning team usually gets a prize – often more beer!)

    …Sometimes I’m really embarrassed about my cultural roots! πŸ˜‰

  • fivecats

    on a completely separate note, i thought you’d appreciate this:

    http://cygnoir.net/2008/07/09/one-month-of-gratitude/

  • Mindful Mimi

    Christine,
    I wrote a post about decluttering the left side of my brain πŸ™‚ as I have just started reading the Artist’s Way following your recommended reading list.
    I have poste a question there for you:
    http://mindfulmimi.blogspot.com/2008/07/when-im-not-in-my-right-mind-my-left.html
    as to whether you actually write your morning pages every day and how in the hell do you find the time in the beginning to do it??? Would you mind posting your answer when you get a chance? Thanks a bunch.

  • Mindful Mimi

    Mmhhh, you must have thought long and hard and played around with words in order to invent these descriptions of the songs. Well done. It gets the brain going.
    I am so glad you posted on my blog – you made my day πŸ™‚ Small things can do that. Thanks.

  • Carrie_in_TN

    Genius.
    Thank you for the laugh.

  • Al at 7P

    Brilliant! Seems like all I gotta do is check out Billboard’s Top 100 to get blog post ideas. πŸ™‚

  • Don Mak

    Best. Blog post. Ever.

    Don Mak

  • Christine Kane

    Thanks all! I’m getting on a plane right now – but it’s good to read the good thoughts. (mark – those are cute!)

  • seventh sister

    Soooo funny

  • connie

    You never fail to amuse and educate!!! Thanks!

  • KMG

    “The Lazy ManÒ€ℒs Guide to Creating a Simplified To-Do List”

    Ha! You should post that with your “To-Do List on Drugs” blog post.

    The synchronicity made me smile because I just posted a “Self-Help Thursday: Talking with Led Zeppelin about Self-Esteem” humor piece in my blog. Sometimes popular music just asks for it πŸ™‚

  • Steve Pavlina

    That is really funny! πŸ™‚

    I especially like #11. Nicely done, Christine! People are talking about this post in our forums.

  • Sonia

    You never fail to make me smile, or in this case laugh out loud with this post! I shall never look at my iPod quite the same after this, as I’m already imagining blogging titles with each new song.

    Thank you for another delight-inspiring read!

  • Mark

    Couldn’t resist one more, thought of this while shaving:

    “Why Don’t We Get Drunk and Post”

  • Mark

    Very clever! Ha!

    How ’bout:

    “How to Get More Comments After I Key Your Car”

    or

    “7 Ways to Monetize Your Blog, Dawg”

    (sorry, haven’t had my coffee yet.)

  • Christine Kane

    caren – the building traffic with titles is interesting and fun. but not good to get driven by! (especially for a 4! πŸ™‚ )

    thanks colin

    kathyla – oo! i like that!

  • kathyla

    i’m walking around the house cleaning up, singing “i can see clearly now” and thinking “ways improved weather and vision can boost optimism.” =)

  • Colin

    #5 is priceless.

  • Caren

    Oh, my gosh. These are crackin’ me up! I am not yet a “conscious blogger”, as in, I’m not thinking about building traffic, etc. I just write to get stuff out of my head, so I don’t put too much thought into titles.

    This is really funny. Nice connection.

  • Christine Kane

    Thanks Kerri and Wendi!

    Wendi – I actually like the blog titles. They’ve taught me to step out of my comfort zone and see how other ways work! I just think that sometimes it gets a little outta hand on the blogosphere.

    Hi Starbucker – hmmmm – would that be an Elton John song?

  • Terry Starbucker

    Bravo Christine! Thanks for the laugh, and for very cleverly putting this blogging thing in perspective. Now I’m off to work on “5 Things to do on a Saturday Night with your Fists” (guess that one):-)

    All the best,
    Terry

  • Wendi Kelly

    That was hilarious!!!!!
    I have completly ignored the *How To* aspect of titles in my blog. I know I shouldn’t, but…I just don’t like it so I do.

    I just don’t want my blog to sound like a manual for living.
    Now I know why.

    funny, funny woman. πŸ™‚

  • Kerri PD

    what a great list. i’m all fussy about all sorts of stuff and thought I’d check your blog to help me put things in perspective. Bingo! Thanks Christine. Now I’m going to bed and setting aside all the crap!