You might be wondering exactly what dogs and Universes have to do with each other. Throughout today’s episode, you’ll hear this mystery unravel with Emmy’s story and her dog Brutus.
I’ve found a gap in the visualization practice and figured out why it never worked for me or my clients. The method I share today is one you can do in an instant – no need to set aside extra time in your already cramped day.
Far too often, we feel a little cray-cray with all the mental chatter going on before doing something – even small everyday things like grocery shopping (you’ll hear all about my early days of shopping for organic food as a “starving artist.”).
I’ll give you one hint right now: There’s more to this than what you’re looking at (where visualization focuses). You must consider where you’re looking from (psst, the magic is hiding here). This isn’t about control or manipulation. Rather it’s a level of alignment for yourself when you show up for situations.
I’ll wrap today’s episode with an assignment, should you choose to accept it. I’m pretty confident you will :) When you do, watch what happens to your energy. You’ll notice an internal shift as our pre-conditioned responses lose their powerful grip on your thoughts.
Featured in this Episode
Featured in this Episode
It’s not just about where you’re looking at, but it’s also where you’re looking from
Welcome to The Soul-Sourced™ Podcast, unconventional business advice for the highly creative, secretly sensitive and wildly ambitious entrepreneur. I’m your host, Christine Kane. Let’s do this.
Hello, my friends, and welcome to episode number 57 of The Soul-Sourced™ Podcast. And I’m going to do something a little different right now. I’m actually just hitting record. And if you actually hear this particular episode with me talking right now, you’ll know this was my shitty first draft that I realized turned out to be okay enough and imperfect action enough to put out there for you, because this is, um, it’s an odd topic to try to bring to the forefront and bring to our mental capacities so that we can understand it. But the thing about this whole activity that we here at my company call Upleveling is that it’s not just about getting more stuff and taking more action and suddenly being able to launch and make a whole lot of money. There is a certain amount of energetic change that happens within the person who starts to become an entrepreneur, starts to learn how to generate their own income, begins to live from that place begins to take personal responsibility for their results, for their actions and for everything in their lives, and they leave behind a lot of traits that they may have been conditioned to do or believe or have.
And that shift, it’s not just about the skillset of becoming that person. It’s also an embodied experience. It’s a somatic experience. And I know some of you know, the word somatic, some of you that might seem a little esoteric, but it really is that you it’s like, it’s like riding a bike. You become somebody who understands how to ride a bike because you have experienced balance. You’ve experienced bike riding. You didn’t just sit there and conceptually grok, oh, I get bike riding because I’ve studied it. You, you start to have a sense of ownership about everything and that changed. There’s a certain kind of miraculous quality to it. And when we’re talking about it, when you’re somebody who is just starting out, or when you’re about to go through a change or do something new, it can be daunting and it can feel impossible, and part of that is because of the conditioning you’re bringing to the table.
And from the perspective I sit at right now, as somebody who, you know, started music, playing music and being, becoming a songwriter and began this whole journey as a very broken, depressed, somewhat suicidal, really psychologically wounded human being who couldn’t imagine anything for herself, let alone being someone who stood on stages and made CDs and all that kind of stuff. The shift is huge and you don’t know where to begin when you’re starting. And so I started to learn, well, I read a ton of books and I studied a lot. And this was before, of course the internet was all opened up to all these different ideas. Um, so I had to learn ways of shifting beliefs and conditioning and just entire construct inside of me. And I call it now the way I sort of look at it as these frames that we’ve created around ourselves and learning to change those in step into different roles and becoming different things, It’s kind of a game.
And to that end, one of the things that we’ve all heard and learned has been this whole idea of visualizing. And so when I first learned about visualizing, I think it was back, gosh, when I was, I think I was in high school and I was trying to be a gymnast and I’m pretty sure it was Dennis Waitley’s book. Um, it was all about athletics and elite athletes and, and visualizing was one of the things in it. And I, even after that, I wasn’t, I wasn’t good at it in high school. I wasn’t good at, in college. And I tried to use that technique throughout my life. And I’ve never been really good at segmenting things like visualizing in order to shift changes. So visualizing, as you probably know, is the idea of you sitting down and you imagine the thing you want to create, like you stepping on stage and I’m going to walk out and I’m going to kick some ass and then I’m going to kick some more ass and I’m going to visualize the audience laughing uproariously and running to my sales table or whatever it might be.
And part of the reason I think that the whole idea of visualization never really appealed to me or worked for me was that it felt a lot like, okay, I am now manipulating events and I am going to sit here and in this separate segment of my life, and I’m going to try to visualize this outcome. I recognize that this technique has worked for many, many, many people, and that’s great, but when it comes to mindset shifts and what I call the Soul Track of your business, I don’t think every technique is a cookie cutter approach for every single person, and especially with visualizing. What I often found is that kind of this scientific approach to these things that I was supposed to change in my life and control. And then you would hear these teachers of visualization say things like inject feeling into your visualization. And when you look at this, just from how I am, for instance, and how you may be, it’s like inject feeling, what are you talking about? I can’t not feel, like feeling is everything. I am feeling.
And so the whole idea just never really worked for me. And so one of the ways that I kind of created my own little brand of changing how I am and who I am was something I called, Uh, and I ended up teaching in my Uplevel Your Life program, I called it mental dress-up. And that’s, that’s a little bit what I want to talk with you about today and sort of teach you how that works and how it can work for you in ways you can play with it. Now, if visualization is your jam, then stick with it. That’s wonderful, but this is a different play on that, and I’ve worked with, you know, gosh, so many clients now because I’ve been doing this for what 12 years, the coaching part of my world. And I’ve, I’ve really helped shepherd many people from that place of, I want to start a business into, I now have a company and I am running a team, and I, you know, I am managing enormous amounts of money and things that they never imagined for themselves, but it didn’t necessarily come from sitting back and visualize, visualizing and manipulating the outcomes.
So one place I always start with, no, I don’t always start with this. It’s just a really interesting place to begin. And if you’ve been on my Sunday summit sessions, you may have heard me point to this, but a lot of times when we’re visualizing, it’s that we’re setting up a world where we are now looking at this thing, we are looking at the thing we’re about to do, and we’re looking at our business and we’re strategizing and we show up, you know, for our coaching calls and we’re talking about something and everything is outside of us. One of the things about this idea where mental dress up that I teach and have taught for to my clients is it’s not just about where you’re looking at, but it’s also where you’re looking from, meaning the quality of energy you’re bringing to the table in this whole idea of becoming something. And this is the, this is the mode of, of leadership in some ways.
And so one of the first clients that I began working with this, this concept was somebody who was early on in my Uplevel Your Life Program, and then became a client and then started her own business. And there’s a real privilege that comes from, you know, having this amazing experience of watching someone begin with some of these concepts and then start their own businesses and how they change. And so this person I’m going to, I’m going to call her Emmy. And Emmy was really drawn to this idea of Mental Dress Up and I’ll explain what it is and how it works. And I’ll, I’ll share how she worked with it in, in three different ways and how you can start to apply it.
So Mental Dress Up, and what it is, is it’s an, a way of playing with your own being and where you’re coming from in the world and how you navigate it, and where I started playing with it and how I started teaching it was that I, when I was very early on playing music, I was still very caught up in this sort of broken artist mode and not seeing myself as a record label, not seeing myself as an entertainer, not seeing myself as very wealthy or successful. And that’s a concern [inaudible] that I had throughout my whole life. And I’m not blaming anyone. I’m not shaming anyone. It’s just where I came from. It’s how I kind of set things up. And when I started to play different games with it, I would put myself in different situations in my life. And I would do this little thing I called Mental Dress Up. So an example that I can remember from way back then was, um, I would go into grocery stores, and we have different grocery stores here in Asheville, and I’ve lived in Ashville forever. And, uh, there was one grocery store that it was called Dinner For The Earth, but we all called it dinner for the rich, you know, shout out to old Asheville people who remember that enough to laugh at it.
But, um, and I, you know, I always would go in and I’d be struggling and looking at price tags and, and kind of coming from like where you’re looking from a very broken place of, uh, you know, kind of poverty mentality place and seeing it as dinner for the rich and whatever. And one of the games I began to play with myself, this as I was sitting in my car outside of the place, ’cause I I’ve always been very committed to local organic, you know, eating very well. I started to just say, you know what? I want you to go in here and act as if, like play Mental Dress Up, you are somebody who does not worry about, about prices. Like you are, you have made it, you are already a successful musician. You don’t have to think about prices and you walk through, it’s a different, it’s going to be a different grocery store experience.
And that may sound very simple and very stupid, but it changed everything for me because where I came from, as I walked in was radically different. I was no longer looking at prices. I got what I wanted. I put it in my cart. Now it may be tempting to think that I just walked through like just buy everything. It wasn’t that it was just, uh, a subtle shift in who was navigating that store. And so when Emmy was in my Uplevel Your Life program and doing this, she, I taught this and she was like I said, one of the first people in Uplevel Your Life, and I did change her name by the way. She had worked with visualization as well. And she had done the whole like scrunchy faced sitting there trying to visualize and errrrr, you know, that kind of thing. And when she realized you could do it with something as simple as going to the grocery store, she was trying to get into a habit of running with her dog every morning. And she decided to become someone who loves to run with her dog in the morning. And she shifted like, instead of like in the same way that I walked through the grocery store, she would start her morning, like sitting there for a second. And she would really become someone who loves to run with her dog in the morning.
And so in her world, like when she first began, she, after a few blocks, she would be wheezing. She would feel awful. She would tell herself to go home and just eat donuts and whatever else she did. But when she started to become someone who loved running with her dog, she started to realize that she had more stamina and she felt really great during the run. And it was a game. So she wasn’t visualizing, which could be very, very hard on us. She, she played the game and she got better and better at the game. And then she actually began to love running with her dog. And in that same vein, I will tell you that I became someone who started to walk through the grocery store and never really looked at price tags again, like it, I became someone who could truly nurture myself and shop for what I needed and not be cutting corners around pricing and that sort of stuff. It was a really big shift for her and for me.
And so when she got on a coaching call with me at this point, and there was two things that happened, she had already become someone who loved running with her dog, but she shared two different things and they, they seem to be unrelated, but I guided her differently based on this whole idea of really changing how you are and the framing you bring to things. So when Emmy was returning from a run at one point, there was another dog and his owner, um, they were walking in her direction and she knew the dog and she knew her dog had been abused and was, uh, really, really aggressive with other dogs and she started to get anxious and she was clinging to Bruno’s leash and she was really freaking out. And then she remembered this whole game of mental dress up and how she had become someone who loves running with her dog. And so instantly she got into her body and she focused on how calm she felt. She focused on how much she loved her dog. And she sort of played mental dress-up on Bruno and really feeling that he was always very loving and very peaceful. And it totally worked. Bruno followed her energy. He was fine. They both headed home without incident. And she was saying to me, this was like this total miracle.
And then we started our, you know, she was sharing that at the beginning of the call. And then we started our coaching on this new business that she was creating. And she told me that the week before she had met with her accountant and how her accountant knew she was starting a business and he was really skeptical. And he gave her all these warnings and she was feeling really unsure. And she felt that this was a terrible idea. And she was bringing all this to me and she just sort of threw it down. And I said, you know what, Emmy, I want you to consider something. And I said, I want you to consider that your accountant is your dog. And there was this big, long pause. And she had no idea what I was talking about. And, and so I brought her back to Mental Dress Up and I said, you know, the idea of mental dress-up isn’t about us controlling outcomes. It’s about the quality of energy that we’re bringing to each and every situation. And so I shared with her that whole idea of, you know, our primary tone, our primary vibration. And this is, you know what I said at the beginning of this episode, which is like, where you’re coming from.
And as a coach, I’ve seen people, sometimes they’ll bring, they’ll bring things to me where they’ve really thought it out. They’re, they’re showing up as you know, in a relationship with their coach and we’re working through a problem, but some people bring a conditioned self to the call, which is like, I’m so messed up and I can’t figure this out. And I’m all a mess. And, and that’s fine as coaches we’re meant to unravel that. But I have the ability as a coach to know that I’m doing that. An accountant, it’s in some ways, if they have not done the work of understanding and being aware of the kinds of problems their clients bring to them, they’re kind of like your dog, they’re just following your energy. They see your primary tone. And if your primary tone is chaotic and scattered and messed up, they follow it. And they say, yeah, you know what? I’m skeptical. I don’t believe that you have the capacity to start a business because look at your energy right now. They won’t say that, but they’re following your energy. Her accountant in that moment became Bruno. And that accountant followed her energy. So every one of us, this is part of the role of us being leaders, that we are ultimately leaders of our own energy and people follow it. So it doesn’t matter if you’re, if you’re facing a mentor, if you’re walking into a grocery store, if it’s an accountant or a lawyer or an audience or your customer or your client, people are going to follow your energy, just like dogs, follow your energy. It’s it’s what Ceaser Milan has been telling us, you know, for years and years and years and all of his books and shows and all that kind of stuff is that, you know, our, our dogs are not about, it’s not about training the dog. It’s about training them human.
And so when it comes to Emmy, well, you know, this was like I said, years and years and years ago, I, her business, her energy around her business and the energy, she came from, all of us in every situation, we have fear. We have bad news. We have good news. We have launches that work. We have clients who say, yes, we have clients who say, no, we have, you know, depression, we have loss, we have uncertainty, we have insecurity. And so the decision to quit or to say you failed, or to say you succeeded or to say you’re learning, it’s always going to be ours. And so in that moment, Emmy’s accountant probably sensed her own uncertainty. And, and he found all the negative stuff that he could muster up to dissuade her. So he became her dog and he followed her energy.
Now ultimately, the truth is that in some ways we could look at it as the universe is your dog. The universe follows your energy. And so the reason I think that I don’t love the idea of visualization is because there is a certain like manipulative quality, like, ah, I’m going to make my accountant love me. And I’m going to show like, I’m visualizing my accountant nodding and I’m going to visualize him. That’s not what we’re doing. We’re not trying to visualize our manipulation of the audience or the customer or the sale. What we’re really doing when we’re playing Mental Dress Up, when we’re doing visualization is we’re managing our own energy. We’re finding our primary tone. And we are saying, where am I coming from in this situation? So in all of our Mental Dress Up games from every client I’ve worked with, I’ve, I’ve played all kinds, have them play all kinds of games.
One of the ones that I did, like I’d said, the grocery store, I did that. I played that, that that was a major shift for me. And then I also just a little, another little one that sort of goes along with kind of the whole idea of vision boards as well, is that when I was driving around, I used to have a Nissan Pathfinder when I was a musician and I always wanted an Audi. And one of the things that I would do when I was like stuck in traffic or just driving around is I would imagine that I had the little Audi, the it’s four circles. Um, this was before I, I got an Audi. I would imagine that was what was on my steering wheel. And I would imagine being somebody who drove a luxury car, like, what does that feel like? The shift? Like, what does it feel like to be in traffic, in a luxury car? And my entire being the primary tone inside of me, I could feel that change.
And so my assignment to you, should you choose to take it, is to instead of thinking in terms of affirmations and visualizations, is really thinking about where you’re coming from in situations, like, what is the primary tone of you in that situation and becoming somebody who enters a situation where you might feel uncertain and become something different. And you’re playing with being, you’re playing with who you are. And so I’ve had clients just to give you an example, I’ve, I’ve taught clients to play with the idea of like, what does it feel like to enter this party and you’re a best-selling author. And you’re not, it doesn’t mean you’re going in and you’re faking it till you make it. You’re watching your energy shift, you know, like, oh, well, that, that’s a really different thing If I’m now a bestselling author, or if, if I am a paid speaker, or if I have done a TEDx talk, like all of the things that we are, and it starts to shift the conditioned response that we have had, like, whether you see yourself as a broken artist, or you see yourself as kind of uncertain, or you’re not quite there yet, or whatever it is. And your beingness kind of changes. Where you come from changes. And Mental Dress Up, in my experience with clients who have done it over and over again, is that it can be done in an instant. It’s not about setting aside time and visualizing and being this, you know, crazy person who’s like, I’m going to know, manipulate the world. So it does my bidding.
None of, not none of us, because a lot of people like that kind of control. Most of us aren’t seeking that kind of control. What really starts to feel fulfilling is when we inside of ourselves really can start to shift into that level of cohesiveness of alignment. And then when we show up in a situation where we do show up for our accountant, we take it seriously enough that we aren’t just showing up as a, you know, a bucket of crazy and saying, oh, fix me or whatever it might be. We show up as someone who yet we know I have challenges, I have stuff going on and here are my key questions and we really do shift our energy.
And so that’s what I wanted to speak with you about, is that ultimately it is that the universe is your dog and it follows your vibration, your energy, your tone, whatever that might be, the framing that you’ve created around you. And this doesn’t have to become something where you get all scrunchy eyed and weird and try to visualize and change it. Cause that’s, that’s again, that’s changing your energy into being somebody who’s super tense. That’s why we call it playing. That’s why I call it Mental Dress Up.
And I will quit, since I mentioned Cesar Milan, I’ll one of my favorite quotes from him from The Dog Whisper, um, is that he says, start by becoming a pack leader in your own world and healing your own world, and the effects will ripple. And that’s what it means to, to start to play Mental Dress Up as you start to really say my energy and the primary tone that I bring to each and every situation, I always have the ability to play with, like play with as opposed to manipulating, controlling, really playing with how I show up. And that includes how you show up at your desk in the morning, how you show up at the gym, how you show up when you go to the grocery store, in your car, whatever it might be, all the things that you want to change. Leaving behind the past conditioning and really playing with the idea of being that successful, integrated, aligned person, not so that you can control other people, but so that you can really just experience a new embodiment of this exciting thing that you are, and that you can be at any given moment.
So I think I’m going to call that a wrap and say, okay, that was episode number 57, and it’s imperfect, but there you have it. Let me know what you think. And if you like this, then I would encourage you to go over to Apple or wherever you listen to your podcast, give it a, give it a review, five star review, hopefully six star review If you can find it and, uh, write a little note. And I would appreciate that. And I will see you guys next week. Thanks so much for listening.