Receiving and Succeeding - Christine Kane

In the last 30 days, my husband and I have found 16 four-leaf clovers between us. Some of them are huge. We’re talking NUCLEAR huge. Some of them are small. They seem to be throwing themselves in our path.

I remember the sacred feeling of finding four-leaf clovers when I was little. It was like God was speaking directly to me. No words needed. I would silently pick it and feel a Moment of Special.

I still feel that way. However, last week, as we were getting in bed, I asked my husband:

“Do you think the planet is going through some chemical adjustment – and there’s just a lot more four-leaf clovers out there?”

My husband gave me one of his looks.

Then he said, “I think the more interesting question is why you’re trying to figure out a way to dismiss something that’s really fun and meaningful to you by wondering if there’s a problem on the planet.”


It made me think of something I said to a friend recently. She was receiving rave reviews for something she created. Women were falling all over themselves praising her work. And yet, she kept on talking as if she hadn’t even heard. She couldn’t take it in.

When I stopped her and asked her to really listen to what these women were saying, she burst into tears. Like me looking for a planetary chemical problem, she was finding a million things to say to block out the sound of their praise. She could not let herself receive.

The gist of what I then told her – and what I had to remind myself the other night – is this:

When we can’t receive, we can’t succeed.

As women, we give life. We create. We birth. We freakin’ ROCK at care-giving.

That being said, it is imperative that we learn to inhale deeply, to allow praise, to be special, to nourish ourselves, to feed ourselves, to absorb the abundance of love that is out there for the taking.

Often we are so busy giving and coaching and befriending and serving – that we lose sight of the simple truth that energy is meant to flow.

If you can’t stop and receive, then you stop the flow. You break the laws of nature. And you will never truly experience success.

Here are simple ways to practice receiving and succeeding:

• When someone compliments you, stop and say, ‘THANK YOU.’ (Don’t explain why don’t deserve their praise.)

• When you eat a meal, sit down at the table. (Don’t shove the food in your face at the refrigerator – or worse, while checking email.)

• When your partner or friend hugs you, let yourself pause for a moment and take it in. (Don’t brush it off as “too uncomfortable.”)

• Learn to inhale deeply and stop at various moments in the day to feel your breath moving deep into your being.

• When you see material things that you love (but perhaps are out of your price range), say, “That’s for me!” (Don’t block your connection to it by judging it as unreachable.)

• Treat yourself to a massage. Massage therapists talk about touch in terms of “receiving.” It’s a beautiful idea.

• Read books that are fun. Go to movies and take in the scenes. Experience art and let the colors splash all over you.

Leave more ideas or thoughts in the comments so that the other readers can receive them…

  • Sonia

    Christine, I am so thankful I found your site a couple years ago. I’m catching up on some posts and just ready this today… exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you!

  • Lola M.

    Oh my gosh, Christine, yes! I have been learning to receive lately. I know I have done (still do at times) exactly what your friend did, not hear the praise. A work in progress…

  • Andrea

    I am reading this a few days after its first posting and yet, it was perfect to read today. On Monday, I had the opportunity to help out at the Senior BBQ at the high school my daughter is about to graduate from. My position was handing out plates and hamburger buns. I got to see every single one of the 500 seniors in my daughter”s class. Coming through the line were girls I knew from grade school when they were part of my Girl Scout troop. They all greeted me warmly.
    I had already thought to send my “Brownies” congratulation cards but was having trouble remembering all the girls in the troop. I did not want to leave anyone out.
    Today, my daughter popped up on her Facebook page a Facebook group from this old troop (the page was created in 2005) and she read me the intro page where the girls were making this group to remember all the good times they had when Mrs Worthington was their troop leader. She checked who were still members of the group and we got a few missing names.
    …..While I sat there stunned that these girls thought enough of their experiences with me to make this Facebook gesture of a fan club…and I hadn’t known about it for 5 years!!!! We did have crazy fun since I love chaos!
    What a day to receive!

  • Kendra

    Wow, Christine — great post. It gave me chills, which I think means that it was something I needed to read!! 🙂 Isn’t it funny that it’s so hard for us to let the good in? Thank you for the tips on receiving — I will follow those — and for the reminders.


    Count your blessings. Everyday. Everywhere.
    mobile gratitude journal (free with promo “joy”)

  • Kathy Troidle Jackson

    The clover is amazing on our property this year too….I have never seen so many wild flowers, wild thyme, wild black raspberries, daisies, and things I don’t know what they are. Or maybe I just never appreciated them as much as I am right now. I had lumpectomy surgery this week for breast cancer and the amazing support I have been receiving from friends, family and even strangers are blowing my mind. The abundance of love in my life fills my soul. I am inhaling deeply and taking it all in as healing energy. And healing I am! Bless you, Christine for helping us learn how to harness it.

  • mila moscova

    Stop, pause, breathe, take it in with every cell of your body. Be greatful, not take it for granted. Notice little, important things – joy of orgasmic wormth of your own breath, sun on your skin, wind, rain on your face or tears, big smile inside your heart. Upgrade all sensations, praise, joy, care, desires. That is recieving, we are recieving all the time – just pay attention, notice. Quality of your experience directly proportional to the quality of your ability to notice little things…

  • Susan (5 Minutes for Mom)

    I love this post and I need to take it to heart.

    Thank you.

  • Amy Miyamoto

    Thank you Christine for this post. It is yet another confirmation of what I have been feeling more and more deeply in my core: the critical opportunity for healing the wound around receiving. It is something I have become aware of in my own life over the last few years, it continues to come up in a variety of ways between my friends and colleagues – and is almost always a central issue at the heart of the struggles that my coaching clients are facing. I appreciate the grace with which you offer simple ways to stretch all of our receiving capacity. I have been practicing many of those on your list for away – yet I particularly like the way you reframe “That’s for me” – regarding things we recognize may be in alignment with our vibration if not quite yet in our price range. Great reminder! 😉

  • Sari Grove

    Maybe GMO , genetically modified plants are osmoting their super-growth powers to 4 leaf clovers…? & that is why there are more…Yesterday I told my husband that people walking down the street seemed to be suffering from CCD, colony collapse disorder, like the bees near to wireless towers- people seemed to be all over the sidewalk…(especially the ipod in the ear people)…

  • Laura Mixon, PhD

    Wonderful inspiration! We can be so clever in looking for the intellectual angle to downgrade sincere compliments and praise — or simple joy as in the example of the 4-leaf clovers. Thank you!

  • Tangerine Meg

    Oh Wow! …pause for nice breath… It felt like you wrote that for me, today – clearly from the above comments I am not the only one! The comments themselves added to the picture here too, those spectrums of Tim’s are interesting.
    Key for me I think is:
    “…it is imperative that we learn to inhale deeply, to allow praise, to be special, to nourish ourselves, to feed ourselves, to absorb the abundance of love that is out there for the taking.”
    I am going to keep this open to re-read over and over and let it really SOAK in.
    Thanks again 🙂

  • amypalko

    Here’s another especially for you!
    After attending a women’s goddess workshop earlier this year, I discovered that I have a big problem with receiving. I was shocked, quite frankly. I thought I was good at receiving – lol!
    I know now that it is something I need to work on – I love what you say here about stemming the flow. I’m going to keep that in mind next time I feel myself resisting receiving.
    Thank you, Christine!!

  • Hannah Marcotti

    I had a guest speaker come to my women’s group last night. I called to tell her how fabulous it was to have her there and what an impact she made on the women. She said, “It was amazing to be there and see what you created.” I said, “I know the women are awesome aren’t they.” She said, “I’m talking about you. What you created. What you are doing.”

    I had to stop and breathe and just allow myself to feel it. I know what I”m doing is important and valuable, but when someone takes time to really honor that, I can so quickly try to change the subject or redirect the conversation back to them. It was an important moment for me to be able to allow the feeling of joy to wave over me.

    Thanks as always for your message.

  • Kat

    Yesterday, while thinking about what my ideal life would entail, I imagined myself waking up in the morning, getting a big glass of water (or a hot cup of tea in the winter) and going out on my deck to breathe in the ocean air. Ocean air has always invigorated me, inspired me, quickened me from the depths of futility.

    Of course, right now I live on a mountain, in the woods, in a tiny condo (complete with crazy neighbors), a few hours from the ocean. But I thought, why can’t I start practicing that right now? There’s no ocean, but there is a living, natural forest I can breathe into myself. I find when I acknowledge something I have right now, I feel like I check-marked a step off of my list of getting to that ocean.

    Not being grateful/able to receive is like people who want a mansion, but can’t appreciate the studio they live in now. They can’t even be bothered trying to make it a home. How can you expect something big when you can’t handle it’s smaller precursor?

    P.S. The song “Love the One You’re With” just popped into my head. That’s exactly what I’m trying to say!

  • Alisha

    So what I needed to read today.

  • Christine Kane

    Thanks y’all! And GO Miranda! I’m happy to witness as you grow into this person you are becoming! 🙂

  • Mackie

    Your husband is a wise man! I love how he flipped your words back to you in a thought provoking manner. And I had to laugh as my first thought, too, was “what is happening on the the planet” when I saw how many four-leaf clovers you had discovered! OK…going out ready to receive today…and receive graciously and gratefully and abundantly!

  • Cristina

    Your posts always come when I need them – I so need to work on my receiving skills…thanks for reminding me! And the list is great, I’m going to print it out and use it as a daily reminder 🙂

  • Mindfulmimi

    Christine! This soooo speaks to me today.
    I pitched for something important yesterday. I worked on that pitch and the presentation for weeks and asked people for their opinion etc. And they were all telling me that it was great. And I couldn’t hear them 🙂 I was looking for perfection, because so much was at stake. But perfection is overrated and I started to loose the real me in it.
    So I took a breath, took a step back and looked at what I have already achieved and done. And wow! Look at that. Seeds planted everywhere that are sprouting all over the place. And I am proud.
    And the pitch was perfect in the end. Perfect for the occasion, perfectly fit to me.
    Thanks for that reminder.

  • Tim

    hmmm the characters messed up the end of the post.. try again!

    “Service” is one of several dimenions, each with their own extremes and balances. For example;

    “Receiving” … “Service” … “Giving”
    “Power” … “Humility” … “Helplessness”
    “Fame” … “Compassion” … “Shame”
    “Intellect” … “Insipiration” …”Intuition”

    I think it’s a worthy way of living, soemthing to aspire to.

  • Tim

    My teacher taught me that “giving” and “receiving” are actually two extremes, and doing either exclusively or predominantly, or swinging between the two, is not healthy. Doing equal parts of each is balanced and is called “Service”. Whether it’s being of service to yourself, to others, to your employer, to the planet … whatever, the same principle applies.

    “Service” is one of several dimenions, each with their own extremes and balances. For example;

    “Receiving” -> “Service” “Humility” “Compassion” “Insipiration” <- "Intuition"

    I think it's a worthy way of living, soemthing to aspire to.