The Outrageous Power of Decision - Christine Kane

Last night at a party, someone asked me about the mastermind I am a part of this year.  She gasped when I told her the cost for a year of coaching and masterminding. “Wasn’t that terrifying?” she asked.

“The scariest thing for me,” I told her, “was that I knew I’d have to go a whole year without pulling any of my old tricks. I wouldn’t get to spend July in fetal position, whining about how tired I am.”  She burst out laughing.

I did, too.  But my laughter was more about how happy I’ve become because of one single moment…

The moment I made that decision to make the investment.

No one helped me make the decision. No one weighed Pro’s and Con’s with me.  No one asked me if it was practical.

I simply decided that I was ready for a higher level of ME.

It may be one of the biggest lessons of my life.  I am clearer because of it. I am wealthier because of it. And I’ve also come to realize that I’m my ideal client! 🙂

That’s because I know how to DECIDE.

Last week, as I did strategy sessions with the applicants for my Uplevel Your Business Program, I spoke with people who are in different stages of business and readiness.  (As I write this, there are only two spaces left in the program. It begins on Wednesday.)

Now, I happen to be so excited about this program I could shriek.  I know how great it’s going to be.  But I didn’t push anyone.  Some people came to their calls wanting me to convince them, wanting me to make their decision for them.

I didn’t do that. Here’s why:

Decision is a lot about loss.  It’s about being strong enough in your choice to allow a loss of other options.  (The word “Decision” comes from the Latin ‘decisio,’ which means “to cut off.”)

When I decided to invest in a year-long coaching and mastermind program, I “cut off” the option of spending weeks or months in any old destructive emotional patterns.  I “cut off” the option of doing other things with that money.  I “cut off” the option of isolating myself.

Many (many!) people don’t want to make decisions because they don’t want to lose anything, or any options – even old bad habits, excuses, negative self-talk, draining friends, or illusions of grandeur and rescue.

When someone can’t make a decision, they’re often afraid to let go. In subtle ways, they might be getting served by being stuck in one place.  After all, it might not be happy. But it’s definitely comfortable, and it keeps them safe!

My own definition for DECISION is “Intention with Legs.”  When you are presented with a decision, it’s like the Universe suddenly asks you: “Just how serious are you about this intention of yours?”

In fact, in the seven weeks of my Uplevel Your Life Mastery Program, the first few weeks are the foundation. They’re challenging – but it’s possible to get used to the Levels of Intention, Elimination and Attention.

However, once you reach the level of DECISION, the game changes.  This is when you move out of discomfort and into plain old hard-core fear.  There’s a good reason for this:

Because you know exactly how powerful your own decisions are.

Once you DECIDE, you realize that there is never going to be any outside person, entity, institute, or association to give you permission. Nor will you need it.

Once you DECIDE, you know it’s up to you to make things happen.

Once you DECIDE, there is absolutely no stopping you.

What decision have you been putting off?

Are you willing to make it right now?

  • Mary Jo (Sam)

    Thanks, Christine, and you can call me Sam! It took so much strength for me to ask for that! It actually took me over a week to summon up the courage. and I have to admit the Zens and your song helped! Leap and the net will appear.

  • Amylia Grace

    hah, thanks Christine. 😉 I don’t think I’ve ever “won” anything official before! heh heh

  • Liz Curtin

    Totally awesome Amylia!

  • Christine Kane

    Amylia – you OFFICIALLY win the “coolest comment ever on a blog” award! Wow!

  • Amylia Grace

    Your post inspired me to write a shape poem about decision–deciding to decide. As a poet getting her M.F.A. I haven’t allowed myself the fun of rhyme-y poems, instead favoring more “serious” ones, but I gotta say, it was a lot of fun to create this (not so) little ditty. I hope y’all enjoy it! I’ll also email it to you since it won’t come out right on here. love y’all, amylia

    “DECISION” by Amylia Grace

    To decide is to lose: bad habits, delusions, uninvited intrusions, excuses & drains, and more of the same illusions and fears and I’ll be right here’s. Decision vanquishes
    Options that let you stay stuck in places that suck all the life from your limbs
    And won’t let you begin to just make up your mind, to seek and to find–
    That pebbles in shoes, and all your To-Do’s are shiny new lessons
    And harmless expressions of how to pick up all those half D
    Empty cups and feel something more that’ll unhitch
    The doors that open more chances for life-long
    Romances. How serious are you? About truly
    Waking all your dreams in the making? E
    Because once you decide to decide
    You want no washy wishes or
    Stuck fetal positions, no more
    Excuses about fat cabooses C
    And lives that you gave
    Up to pursue what
    It is that you do
    In the cube of
    Your life and I
    That label
    Of wife.
    Just try
    Waking S
    In morn
    Enough to
    From June to
    December that I
    April and May are
    Still light years away
    And you’re losing more
    Chances than leaves falling
    from branches. It’s giving up
    Playing tricks with needy old dicks O
    And not drinking aged whines about
    Shit-filled times–Despite how hard life
    Begs your Intention with Legs. It’s you who
    Will choose what to gain and to lose. The time
    Has come to cut off the other and buck up to your N
    Mother. Just finally let go! To decide is to know that you
    must lose to win, so believe what you must but move forth
    And trust once space has been made for both sunshine and shade
    There will be no stopping the old walls from dropping. As they crumble
    Around you, let the ruins astound you–For decision requires that you put
    Out the old fires of guilt and of blame cuz it’s always the same sounding knock
    On your door. Yes, you’ve been here before, but if you do the math adding stones
    In your path to all the clouds in the sky plus the breeze rolling by you’ll surely unearth
    A healthy rebirth of all that you’ve had inside all along–your dance and a song that lasts
    All life long–Imbibing what you never really lost–fuck that damn albatross–circling
    Your neck for too many years, it’s time to switch gears and let yourself free from
    From familiar traps and the snags and the old goodie bags filled with all your
    Old lies and the guaranteed demise of all that you feel in your heart to be
    True. Just one thing left to do! With those six little letters a life can be
    Saved. Why not make it your own? Fly into the unknown! You know
    What to do from your empowered position. Don’t ask permission
    To silence the din of loud voices inside, let your heart decide
    To love what it’s lost (except the albatross) and guide the
    Tides that will ebb and will flow with the seasons of you
    And the life that you’ve built without knowing the end
    And when it will come, you’ve moseyed along with
    Your heart full of song and starlight and moons
    With July and Junes and the sweet fleeting
    Summers of delights and joys, delicious
    Noise of laughter and shrieks from the
    Prom-Kings and geeks and all the in
    Betweens, the Emos and Queens
    Gathering around you to clap
    And applaud you for going
    Ahead and deciding with
    Glee that the life all
    Around you is the
    Same as you or
    Me—AND FOR
    TO LET

  • Liz Curtin

    Thank you Christine. I just read your response to my post from yesterday and it made me cry tears of joy. Since I posted here just yesterday (it feels like days) I finally posted on my blog again for the first time in 6 months, I emailed a flyer for my show in September to 150+ contacts and I posted the info about my show on Facebook.

    I remember what you said on the Uplevel Your Business call a few weeks ago about using social media to get out there. Now I have to join Twitter, which I’ve been resisting. I’ve been checking your new Uplevel Your Business website and can’t wait for the next post.

    PS – I really miss being part of your Inner Circle calls!

  • lori a.

    Thanks Christine! This blog post gave me a much needed kick in the pants today. I had forgotten just how powerful making a decision and then acting on it can be.

    Funny, it doesn’t even have to be a “big” decision. I’ve had a frustrating week where I’ve been waiting on someone to do something. I realized that while I’ve been waiting on this person I basically stopped making any decisions for myself about the situation and I started to feel disempowered.

    After I read your post this morning I made a decision to pick up something at the market during my lunch hour. I had been putting off picking this item up all week because I wasn’t sure about spending the money but I decided to go ahead and do it. Well, that seemingly insignificant task apparently did something because when I got back to my office I had this idea to write a letter and take action on the situation that was causing me a lot of uneasiness and stress. This was the same situation that I was waiting on someone to help me with but suddenly I didn’t feel the need to wait for someone to help me. I felt empowered enough to deal with the situation head on. I wrote a letter that came so easy to me, the words just flowed, and it felt right. It felt like the answer dropped right in my lap and I couldn’t wait to put the letter in the mail, in fact I sent it FedEx.

    I don’t think it was my trip to the market that made the situation better but instead making the decision to do something and then acting on it that turned the situtation around for me and allowed the solution to come through. Thanks for the reminder!

  • Christine Kane

    Knowing as much as I know about your ennegram number 🙂 – and knowing what I know of you after spending the weekend with you at the March retreat… What you have written here is nothing short of HUGE. I’m grinning ear to ear – and I can’t wait to see how you continue to expand and uplevel!

  • Liz Curtin

    Hi Chrisitine, Decisions are always hard for me and this post really hit me. I’m in the third go round of the Uplevel program and have gotten so much from all your wisdom though I still struggle with adding good things to my life, as if I don’t deserve them.

    At the same time I have done some incredible things in the past six months since attending the March retreat and making the decision to purchase the Uplevel program. I bought a new bed, I dumped a boyfriend who was toxic to my life, I sang my songs at several open mics in NYC and last week I had my first gig singing nine of my own songs!

    I don’t think I would have ever gotten to this point without everything I’ve learned from you. Of course its all about learning about myself, which is so scary a lot of the time.

    I so wanted to be part of the Uplevel Your Business program but made the decision not to because I’m not ready yet. I have so much more to work through and knew that being part of the new program, if in fact you had accepted me, was just a way for me to not deal with all the stuff I still need to take care of. It seems like its taking me a little longer than most but I’m getting there! Thanks

  • Christine Kane

    Thanks everyone for great additional thoughts! mary jo – “asking for what you want” is an even better topic for a blog post! cabeth – thanks!

  • Cabeth

    I just found your site last night. I love your voice. All time favorite song Four legs good Two legs bad. I just want to say thank you for being an instant inspiration. I made my decision. I will be back to read your blog often. Again Thank You!

  • Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord

    I’m never sorry when I visit your blog; you have a way of writing that just cuts through to the core of something that either I’m dealing with or a close friend is.
    I like your definition of decision being “intention with legs.” And I feel more inspired than ever after reading this to move forward in some decisions of my own, recognizing that yes, there is loss (as you so interestingly stated), but most trade-offs are necessary to establish a better sense of balance in our lives.

  • Suzanne

    New here…thanks for the tweet, Lance.

    “When someone can’t make a decision, they’re often afraid to let go. In subtle ways, they might be getting served by being stuck in one place. After all, it might not be happy. But it’s definitely comfortable, and it keeps them safe!”

    How did you know this is me? 🙂

    I’ve always been self-motivated, full of initiative, etc. But when it comes to decisions that provoke a deep sense of loss, I spend way too much time and energy trying to make it “perfect”. I’ve learned it’s just me trying to avoid letting go of what is safe.

    It comes full circle, though. That safe feeling starts smothering me, as I still long for what action the decision will bring. Eventually, after being depressed by what is my life, I gather resolve and Just Do It!

    When I’m at the stage of looking back at that time period, I acknowledge that I was doing the best I could at the time and digest the memory to use as fuel for the decison-making fire the next time. Now that I’ve experienced a few of these decisions, I’ve learned to be excited by the anticipation of being able to look back on this (time in my life), rather than avoiding the decision.

  • Mary Jo (Sam) Ramsey

    I have been a full time substitute teacher in a K-8 school for 10 years. This past winter, I had a long term sub assignment for a one-on-one para, working with a 2nd grader with Down Syndrome. After 3 weeks, I realized that I was more challenged that ever before, but also felt very sucessful. I then had the courage (new to me) to aproach the principal and asked to be permanently assigned to this child. When we met to discuss it, I learned that the principal had seen signs that I was burning out, and granted my request. So I will be working with hthis child this coming year. I have learned that if you don’t tell people what you want, they will just assume that you are happy doing what you are doing!

  • Janice Campbell

    Truth, Christine. I experience a lot of the same feelings each time I invest in coaching (and the mastermind was a huge investment!). But you’re absolutely right– making that one decision changes what you do in ways you could never anticipate and the accountability moves you fast and far. Your program will be an amazing blessing, and I look forward to hearing the success stories that will inevitably come from it.

  • Jeri

    Boy oh boy, Christine. Doing the Uplevel program really, REALLY, helped me get my ass in gear and make big decisions such as: deciding to get healthy (physically and emotionally), deciding to create a more comfortable and beautiful home, deciding to write instead of just sit around and want to write…the list goes on and on. I’m actually doing these things on a daily basis. I have good days and I have days that are really tough, but I’m still showing up. Hurrah! Thank you for your all of your commitment, honesty, and bravery. It is truly inspiring!

  • KatherineME

    I read this post AFTER making the desision to say “Yes, you may use my credit card for the payment of Uplevel Your Business.” It tickles me that instead of this post’s theme gently guiding me to make that desion, it pats me on the back for going for it. I am glad it worked out that way. It makes me feel more sure that I make it myself…That I can actually make a decision by myself! Okay, it helped to talk to you too…just a tad!
    Looking forward to working with you Christine, testing myself and having accountability!
    I also loved reading everyone’s replies. So insightful. Thanks.

  • Tonya

    Amen!!! That’s all I’ve got to say!

  • Christine Kane

    Thanks for all of these awesome comments. I love the life that gets sparked in these little squares of type!

    Mimi – Thanks for that openness and honesty! (That’s also why I offer a very liberal 365 day guarantee too!) AND – i’ll be excited to meet you in person at the October retreat!

    martina – that fear means that you KEEP making the decision every morning, and then every morning after that. when i first made the leap to become a songwriter, there never was a “there”, or an “arrival” to tell me it was the right decision. that happened in retrospect. but i had to keep making the decision. I STILL practice this!

    lance – i also think that NO is a perfectly reasonable answer too. as long as you make a decision – and not just hope the choice will go away if you ignore it long enough! 🙂

  • Lance

    Hi Christine,
    Okay, this one hits close to home. No, make that a direct hit!

    I do have a decision I’ve been “playing with”, but not fully committing to. And I know, within my heart – it’s the right decision to make, for me. Is everything perfect? No. It never will be, though. Now is the time. It’s time to give my intention some legs, and then try those legs out!

  • Joely Black

    Yes, I understand the power of decisions! In fact, I understand so much that it’s the fear of the decision itself that’s been getting in the way. This was exactly what I needed to read today, as I am confronting and working through the fears that have held me back.

  • Megan

    I loved knowing the translation is “cut off” in Spanish. That’s wonderful. I, of course, had to go look up decision on the Oxford English Dictionary site and the first word used with decision is action!

    I also want to thank you for your Daily Schedule Template. I did my Sunday Summit yesterday and feel so very clear today. I made a decision about the contents of my day, which is a small thing, but a wonderful feeling. More focus and energy. Thanks so much, Christine.

  • lara

    I am hesitating at making a decision right now. And as i keep looking to the familiar options, a funny thing is happening- my soul is holding me accountable. When I consider the old familiar ways, there is a reaction of dread in my soul, as if it is saying, “No! Don’t make me go back there!!” Then, when I look forward to the possibilities of following through, the fears of moving out of the familiar come up. Well, I thought they were the fears of coming out the familiar. i am realizing they are actually fears of loss in the form of WHO am I going to lose? Who is gonna think I am crazy? Who is going to call it “just a phase she is going through”?
    A friend shared a quote with me that is really resonating right now- “I have to do it to gain the respect of my own spirit” Isn’t that the most important respect to have?

  • Lynne

    You know how the Universe continues to throw up signals (sometimes subtle, sometimes not so subtle) when you are at the edge, wanting to make a change, but hesitating? That’s been how it is with me and Decision this weekend. I have the CD’s from the Uplevel Your Life Mastery Program in my car, and will often randomly pick one to pop in while I’m driving. Today’s random choice? The CD for the weeks of DECISION! Then, while doing a little internet surfing this afternoon, I came across this post about the decision to embrace authenticity from one of my favorite writers:

    And now, your blog post about decision…

    I love your line, “When someone can’t make a decision, they’re often afraid to let go…” It hit me like a bullet. That’s exactly what I’ve been doing. For as icky as the stuck place I’ve gotten into feels, it is at least familiar. Making the decision to me more — to grow and discover my authentic self — to let go of those parts of me that I don’t like or that no longer serve me — and embrace all of it… that’s some big stuff. And it wasn’t until I read your post that I realized how much was tied up in letting go of who I used to be to make room for who I am becoming.

    Thanks, Christine! I am so looking forward to being a part of the Upleveling Your Business program!

  • Martina

    I agree with you in all what you say…
    But: how do I handle the fear which appears after I have made the decision, and first it looks for a long, long time in such a way as if I had decided wrong?
    I speak of the fear if one has “jumped”, and the net takes time to appear.
    I speak of the fear which keeps one awake every night, and sits on your chest on a daily basis month by month by month because the made decision was perhaps not the right one but you can not tell yet, because a net has not appeared yet, only one ramshackle board about the abyss after the other.

  • Jodi at Joy Discovered

    Hi Christine!
    Great article, it makes me want to throw a party, or shout from a rooftop or something! It really gets me excited. Making decisions can be difficult, you are right. But when we learn to consider our options, and take charge, we’re in the driver’s seat! We’re taking control!! That’s when life really opens up for us. That is when preparation meets opportunity!! My favorite line from your whole post (all of it wonderful) is: “I’m my ideal client.” My heart is absolutely bursting with happiness at that line–what an accomplishment! Well done!

  • Mindful Mimi

    Decisions decisions!
    I took the big decision to take part in your uplevel your life course. Tough decision. Money-wise. Brain-wise. Friends/family-wise. Am I worth this money spent on me? What is this course about and what if it’s crap? Will it really be positive for me? What will people think when I do this?
    All those questions were put aside and I took the decision. Scary thing. But I feel better since.
    I still come to many decisions every day. And I still struggle. But I know the way now.
    Thanks Christine.