This is Part Three in this series on the snarkiest (and most common) ways we misinterpret the Law of Attraction.
The first misconception is about blame. Many people think that they are being “blamed” if they’ve attracted something “bad” into their lives. They think that the Law of Attraction implies fault.
The second misconception is making it a part time thing. We remember Law of Attraction when something good happens. But we claim it doesn’t really “work” when something “bad” happens.
So, this brings us to the third snarkiest misconception about the Law of Attraction…
#3 – Making the Law of Attraction about reward and punishment. Taking it personally.
Let’s say you work in an office with two great people — John and Sheila. Spring has sprung, and today it’s going up to 75 degrees. The three of you grab a bag lunch and drive to a scenic overlook to enjoy the warm sunlight.
When you finish lunch, John stands up, looks beyond the overlook, and says, “Let’s test gravity.” He hurls himself over the edge. As you watch him crash and tumble his way to the bottom of the mountain, you look over at Sheila and say, “Wow. That’s so weird. I always thought John was a good person.” Sheila watches the last rocks tumble behind John and says, “Dude. Gravity is SO not working for him today.”
Many people call the Law of Attraction a “spiritual principle.” I find that it’s helpful if I simply see it as a Law. Like the Law of Gravity. It just IS. It’s not personal. It has nothing to do with being a good person. It has nothing to do with getting rewards or punishments any more than the Law of Gravity means that good people won’t fall downward.
Certainly, we all know that when we’re centered, present, and feeling good, we attract smiling people, and life flows nicely. Even driving is easier.
But it’s not because we are behaving as “good” people should behave, playing the I’m a spiritual person game. It’s because of our present moment awareness and openness.
Too many people approach the Law of Attraction by trying to be good people. Then they end up resentful and self-righteous because it “didn’t work.” And besides, there’s all those “bad” people out there getting Jaguars and big homes!
I know someone who is making huge changes in her life now. She’s working with the Law of Attraction while letting go of an abusive relationship. Overall, she’s making great progress. Lately, however, things haven’t gone so well. Some old challenging stuff showed up. In the midst of her anguish, she said, “Why me? I’m not a bad person. I’m a good person. I’m really trying here!”
We all know that feeling, of course. But here’s the thing:
The Law of Attraction is not a system of rewards and punishments. The feeling that we’ve “been good so why isn’t this working?” is just rollover minutes from all the time we spent in religions that came fully equipped with a capricious and vindictive God who was either pleased with us or not. This is an old disempowering belief system.
Let go of the habit of thinking the Law of Attraction “works” or “doesn’t work” depending on whether or not we are good people. A law is a law. If you don’t want to believe in it, that’s completely fair and fine. But if you think it has anything to do with you being “nice” or “good,” then you might find yourself disappointed over and over again.
The Law of Attraction is about how you think. It’s about clarity and focus. It’s about training yourself and your mind to focus on the positive outcomes you want in your life. It’s as basic as an athlete visualizing the upcoming game in her mind, and then heading out to the field with clarity and focus. She knows how the game is going to go. She doesn’t walk out onto the field and tell her teammates that she’s been a good person today and that they should expect a big win.
This is a lifetime practice for sure.
Let’s be clear though. I’m not saying that kindness isn’t a good thing. True kindness, however, isn’t done for rewards. True kindness is heart-centered action that comes from a place of openness and gratitude. If you have self-righteous or whiney thoughts about what a good person you are, and that better things should happen for you, then you might want to be brave. Take a courageous step and look at the belief behind those thoughts because most likely, it’s making you miserable. Self-righteousness (the whiney kind or the aggressive kind) is a massive energy drain.
In the end, it’s not about good and bad. It’s not personal. It’s about where your energy is going. It’s about your attention and focus. When your attention is on gossiping and colluding, then it’s focusing on negativity. When your energy is going to complaining or jealousy, then it’s not feeding you or your dreams. When your thoughts and your energy are in the present moment, delighting in the now, grateful for your life while being able to envision and believe in goals and dreams, then you’ll not only attract great things – but you’ll naturally be a kind person who is powerfully present to all other beings on the planet.
Gravity, however, will still apply.