[VIDEO] How to Stop Shame From Stopping YOU! - Christine Kane
  • Christine Kane

    Anne – Love your little “Step Aside” mantra. I have a few of those myself!

    Jadyn – Thank you! I’m so happy to read that. That’s why I do what I do!

  • Jadyn

    Thank you Christine, I really needed to hear this today. It’s funny, I took you UYL course in the beginning of the year and the lessons are on my ipod. As I was working outside, listening to music on my ipod, one of the lessons came by. It was the one where you talk about what you really want and if all you can come up with is sitting on the beach with a froo-froo drink maybe it’s time to build some rest into your life. The last week, I’ve been in that place – or rather my version of it, which means I just want to be home and do nothing. And this really has brought those shame voices up in my life. So, this video was a great reminder that I’m not the only one who deals with this. I love your action steps, especially the one about re-decision. As always, I love your energy as well and I feel re-focused partly just because listening to your voice seems to do that for me. 🙂

  • Anne Kelly

    It’s really amazing how often, since I’ve started reading your blog, something has come to the forefront of my awareness, I decide to work on it, and then you show me how it affects me on a large scale. For instance, I’ve recently become aware how I was given the message of low self-worth through my youth and early adulthood. I am fortunate now to be married to a man who flat out doesn’t get why I could possibly have low self-worth since I am smart and talented (his words) (see, I even can’t just say I’m smart and talented without the disclaimer). But today when I read and watched your last two posts, I can see how that is seriously crippling me business-wise. I will post those 6 points where they will help me push past the shame in my way. “Excuse me, step aside, I comin’ through!”

  • Christine Kane

    Cristina – LORD, i was just talking about this very thing with one of my clients over the weekend. We both were laughing at how the vacation time can really bring up that stuff that says, “this is too hard, i just wanna sit on a beach and drink froo-froo drinks!” And yes, you did the EXACT thing I coach people to do. Remember your vision, your intention. And be VERY kind to you as you get back into the groove. Awesome work!

  • Cristina

    Hi Christine, thank you for the great video – and thank you Paul for the great summary! Today I particularly needed to re-decide…I had a week holiday in a wonderful place, where I would like to live; I enjoyed myself thoroughly, lived the dream for seven days and then… came back to Earth, and real life. For the last three days I’ve been struggling with shame, and trying not to listen to the little voice telling me I will never achieve my dream, I’m only kidding myself, I have no real talents, I should just get a regular 9-5 job etc etc (you know the voice). But then I listened to you, and re-decided. And took action – a small “chunk” of my project. And that feels great 🙂

  • Colleen

    Hi Christine – I stumbled across your site a few weeks ago and I just wanted to say that I am very grateful that the “Universe” pointed me in your direction. You have inspired me with your openness and willingness to share your “real life” experiences. Once again, I thank you!!

  • Melissa Flach

    Hi Christine – Great Video…..can I be you when I grow up? Seriously, biggest thing for me right now is the unknown. When you are trying something you’ve never done before and you’ve never been shown how to do it, where do you even start? That’s one of the biggest reasons I started the Uplevel Mastery Program. Need to find the courage to trust that if I have the Intention, the how will reveal itself. Thanks for your insight!

  • Leonie

    Hi Christine,
    What a wonderful video! What it ultimately comes down to for me is that I am embarrassed-in-advance for potentially not being good enough. It’s the perfectionist mindset peeking in through the windows, with a bit of “What Will People Think?!”. But life is much more fun when you shut the curtains on those mindsets and have a party inside with the people who’ll support you no matter what!
    Thank you for your wonderful blog (and I’m really enjoying UYL so far!)!

  • Suzie Cheel

    Hi Christine,
    Wow I love redecide and today I need to after setting my intentions, things went pear shaped.
    So I did redecide and took my focus back on my vision that I have been putting off for the past 6 months or more- UPlevel mastery already kicking in:) Time to also stop tolerating
    I am now chunking it down into a plan and seeing myself as a success.
    Thank you

  • Gina

    Awesome video! Very timely for me as I work on learning coaching techniques, starting my business, and dealing with fears that periodically bring me to my knees. “Who am I kidding??” “Who’s going to take me seriously doing this???” “Lets count the ways you’re all wrong for this.”

    It’ll all be ok as long as I let the eye of the storm move on past me and then keep moving forward. This gives me guideposts along the way.

  • Christine Walker

    Thanks Christine,
    What a great video! I was just going through a very stressful day, and your words always have a way of bringing me back to center to what is really important and great ways with how to deal with my shame, and stress!

  • L

    Thank you for this. I’m going to sit with it for the afternoon and then figure out my first step. I’ll let you know how it goes.

  • Christine Kane

    Thanks Y’all! Paul – what an awesome summary! Time for YOU to start a blog! Love it!

  • elaine

    Awesome video – I love these six points! You’ve reminded me about a few important things today that I need to re-focus on. It’s easy to let things slip sometimes.

    Thank you for helping me to continue to move forward.

  • Paul

    Wonderful video Christine. I can see why you’re so popular and well received as a speaker. I’ve captured your six points here and some of my comments/experience.
    1. Take Action in-spite of the Shame (I’ve re-started doing this after reading one of your posts a week or so ago — I can tell you that my spirits have lifted — and man have I gotten a LOT accomplished!)
    2. Challenge Your Thoughts as they may be supporting incorrect Assumptions you’ve made about yourself (Who is that nasty little inner critic? Can you even hear him/her? Personally I have to be really vigilant and often don’t pic up on that voice until I feel my emotions starting to slide — then I holler “STOP” and try to retrace my thoughts — even retracing the thoughts is a power exercise to get to the root of what triggered it — where was I? who was there? what was happening? — AHA!)
    3. Re-Decide: in the “moment” continually shift your focus back to your intent/vision for yourself (I once read, and I paraphrase here, “You are a product of your present moment decisions. Every choice you’ve made up until now has led you to this moment. Now that you know, you can start making more appropriate choices/decisions.” I think it’s from one of Wayne Dyer’s books. All I know is it has stuck with me forever, and I continually use it with my participants when they get in “whiney” places.
    4. Set Yourself Up for Success: shame has a hard time entering a “healthy” environment. (Truer words were never spoken! I know as someone who continues to be a work in progress that unless I watch what I eat, and get some form of regular exercise, blood sugar and trapped energy can make my mind/attitude totally go whacky! Not a good place to be when you’re working on a “stretch” activity. BTW — I’m no healthy/fitness fanatic, but still have to be really aware!)
    5. Chunk-it-down: take larger projects and break them down into the steps. Decide on the first and work on it. (This relates nicely to #1 as if you have this done then when shame does come a’callin then you can look at your list and say, “Don’t have time for you, I need to do “x”! If you maintain focus and get one or two things accomplished you’ll probably find your spirits lifting through a sense of accomplishment. BTW I know you said you didn’t like this and couldn’t think of how else to approach it. I first heard this when I was delivering intensive six week training programs. We used to refer to “not eating the whole elephant in one sitting, but rather cut it into bite-size pieces” — no offense intended to the animal lovers out there!)
    6. Get support: a coach, energy healing, etc. (Couldn’t agree more! Everyone needs a fan, supporter).

    Another great post Christine! Thanks. You have a knack for pulling all of these disparate pieces together so that we can see how they work.

  • Shannan

    I love this video. It so perfectly captures the stuff I’ve been wrestling with this year. Thank you!