You Mean I Have a Choice? - Christine Kane

Flashback lots and lots of years ago:

I’m sitting on a balcony of my apartment building looking at the mountains with my friend Kurt who is visiting me in Asheville. In only three days, I’m supposed to head back to Northern Virginia – as my three month visit to the mountains of North Carolina has come to an end.

I sigh very heavy and very deep.

After one of those long pauses that only the best of friends allow in their conversations, I say to Kurt, “I don’t want to go back.”

Without batting an eye, Kurt says matter-of-fact, “So don’t.”

It’s a simple statement. A simple moment. But it changes the course of my whole life.

You mean I have a choice?

That’s all I could think inside my head. A choice?

You mean, I could actually live somewhere I LOVE? You mean I don’t have to listen to the criticism in my head telling me I’m throwing my life away if I don’t have a “serious” city job? You mean I can actually HAVE THIS?

Sometimes it’s just So. Freakin’. Simple.

And the answer is almost always: Yes, you do. And yes, you can.

  • inge

    dear christine. i don’t comment nearly enough on your wonderful posts that remind me time and again of who i REALLY am. so i do now. in a simple way.
    thank you.

  • Alice

    Thankyou so much for this post. As usual, it was an inspiration. The concept of having a choice especially stands out to me due to recent life events.

    At the start of the year I was diagnosed with PCOS and I wasn’t coping. I had made the choice to act as a victim. I lost all my creative spirit and my passion for life. In the last few weeks I have changed my life, simply by making the choice to embrace the condition and live my life for me. It is amazing how a shift in attitude can make such a dramatic and positive change.

  • Suzie Cheel

    I love this Christine , Yes I do have a choice, I make the choice every day to be Happy and my partner Des is overjoyed and says I am habitually happy. As you say sometimes it is so simple- thanks for the reminder

    PS love your mentoring, thank you

  • amypalko

    Very good – always!

  • Wendi Kelly

    Love it! Shared it on Facebook! I believe we always have a choice, even when we can’t always see it. Sometimes the best choice is to sit back and listen rather than to have a knee-jerk reaction into what we have always done. Sometimes its action and sometimes its time to walk off the plank!

    But we always have a choice!

  • Christine Kane

    Hi Amy! Expanded hearts are good, no?

    Sam – great memory!

    Maggie – I LOVE that. As i was reading it, i felt it along with the words, and it’s so true – even if there are things you NOW want to change. You still chose it in the first place!

  • Allison J

    Very, very true.

  • Maggie Reyes

    My husband’s mantra is “Choose Again” He is wise that way. He always reminds me we can either accept the situation as it is, change what is ours to change or choose another situation. He says it more eloquently but you get the idea.

    This morning as I was walking from my car to the office I was thinking, I choose this job today and I choose it for tomorrow. Another day I don’t know but right now I am choosing it. I think you experience your day differently when you see it as a fresh choice every morning.

    Thanks as always Christine for being Wide Awake 🙂

  • Sam

    Continuation… I CAN do something for ME and you will not die waiting!!! This was my first experience at taking care of me and not feeling bad about it. . I had a choice, I made a choice and my choice was liberating!! And my husband was in my corner the whole time, and has been ever since!

  • Sam

    Wow! This makes me remember 28 years ago! I had a 4 yr old daughter and a 2yr old son, and got to the point where I thought I wanted a divorce. I went to have dinner with a close friend, got snowed in, and spent the night. During that evening and night, I had a revelation. I loved my husband very much, but I felt trapped,(of my own doing!) When I got home, I remember making a cup of tea, and my 2 yr old asking me for something; My response was, “I’ll do it when I finish my tea!” WHAT A REVELATION!!

  • amypalko

    I feel like my heart just expanded while reading your words, Christine. I do have a choice, don’t I?

  • Christine Kane

    Sean – maybe there’s something about NoVa? 🙂

  • Sean

    I made a very similar decision 20 years ago. I had a relatively high-paying, well respected job in the DC metro area. I took a 3 month sabbatical during the ski season out to Colorado. I loved it so much the thought of going back to NoVA made me sick. Driving back across country after the sabbatical, getting ready to restart my old job, I decided I really could make the choice to live where I wanted to. Best. Decision. Ever.

    Funny how it all works out….

  • Alisha

    Yes. My new mantra these past few weeks has been: “make every choice a conscious one.” Seems to be working out so far 🙂

  • Kendra

    I had this exact same conversation with my hubby last night. It’s so refreshing and at the same time scary to know that we can choose whatever we want! Thank you for the reminder. Now to just figure out where it is that I do want to live… 🙂

    Count your blessings. Everyday. Everywhere.

  • Carol

    Beautiful! Breathes wide open spaces in my head.

  • Sue Sullivan

    I’m glad you made that choice, Christine! You open the door for us to too.

  • Lisa @ Grandma’s Briefs

    It’s so funny you wrote about this today. I think the universe is talking to me. My post today is about how bizarre it is that my daughter regularly offers my grandson the opportunity to make the right choice … and it’s made a world of difference in his behavior. ( We DO have a choice, no matter our age. We just need to open our hearts to it. Thank you for the reminder!