There are lots of scary moments in business:
A dire warning from your burly accountant.
The moment you step on stage for the first time.
Having to fire someone who has all of your passwords.
Watching your website crash mid-launch.
But you wanna know something?
There’s something even more scary than any of this stuff.
And that is CLARITY.
Nothing is quite as intense as the moment you suddenly see what’s REALLY possible for you. When you see clearly how SMALL you’ve been thinking and how LOW you’ve set the bar for yourself. When you realize that you could – if you just let yourself – take a chance and play a wildly bigger game.
Once this clarity happens, the question in your mind becomes relentless:
Can I really be THAT big?
In other words…
I think I’m ready to let go of these old limitations. I think it’s time to quit worrying about other people’s opinions. I really can stop hiding. Am I up for it?!
Most people – let’s be honest – aren’t.
They may get a glimpse of their greatness.
But that glimpse is quickly overtaken. The light is snuffed out by the most insidious, stay-stuck, do-nothing, play-safe, bulls*t construct of all…
You know what rules are, don’t you?
Rules go like this:
“Responsible moms don’t have businesses.”
“If you were any good at what you do, you wouldn’t have to market.”
“Being successful means burning out and giving up your whole life.”
“Creative types can’t do business.”
“Selling is for douchebags.”
“Smart people should figure everything out on their own.”
“Responsible people don’t leave their jobs.”
“Cool people don’t make money.”
Any of these sound familiar? (Feel free to add your own. We’ve all got them.)
Like it or not, your RULES often run your life.
And if you’re not careful, your rules (not your heart) will make your choices for you.
And when your rules make your choices for you, then you have to scramble to make sure no one can call you on these choices. (Cuz let’s not kid ourselves. You and I both know you’re not playing to win here. Someone’s bound to call you out!)
So, you’ll expend lots of energy campaigning for why you can’t change, for why you stay stuck, for why you can’t succeed, and for why you can’t dream. In other words, you must do everything you can to defend your rules.
And you’ll be crafty about it of course. Your defense will be so strong that you’ll convince not only your friends — but you’ll also convince yourself. And that’s when it gets really dangerous. Because even YOU will start to believe the defense you created.
That’s because this defense is what you call your REASONS.
REASONS always make people back off because that’s what reasons are designed to do.
“I have a fear of being seen.”
“It’s the holidays. I’ll deal with it later.”
“I’ve got two kids.”
“My husband won’t let me.”
“I can’t afford that.”
“I don’t like marketing.”
“I’m too busy.”
“I’m too old.”
“I’ve never made enough money to try that.”
“I’m too sensitive.”
“That’s too far to travel.”
You know the drill.
In fact, if you’re good at this (and I’m betting you are), you’re thinking of reasons that are even better (and more true of course!) than the reasons above.
So let’s ponder this.
What do you do when you realize that it’s all a lie?
That the reasons are not reasons. They are excuses.
That the rules are not real. They are fear.
Do you dig down deep to discover WHY you’ve created all of these rules?
Do you wait for the rules to go away so you will be free to live your dreams?
Do you journal about each and every reason?
You do three things.
1 — Write down some of your rules. (Do it in the comments below.)
2 – Then, pick one rule and decide your going to break it.
3 – Create a new rule to replace the old one.
Let me share how this works.
One of my Gold Mastermind clients left academia to start her business. She had a rule that it was not okay to be “seen.” So, she didn’t have photos. She didn’t do video. She refused to put herself out there.
In July, at my Uplevel event, she decided to break that rule for good.
Every time she faced an opportunity, she told herself her new rule. “Being seen makes me money.” She has continued to put herself out there, make video, market her services.
And get this.
She’s just got on the cover of a magazine! (And yes, she’s really excited!)
So, here’s what I want to know…
What are your rules? And which rule are you going to break?