One of my coaching clients – I’ll call her Bonnie – is really good at what she does. REALLY good. She had some idea of her skills – but it came fully equipped with all the usual doubts and concerns.

Many of us can relate. We’re so steeped in our world and all of its assumptions that we think everyone knows what we know. That we’re not all that special.

Well, Bonnie has been putting herself “out there” bit by bit. She’s been facing her fears and stepping into the spotlight. Suddenly, opportunities are pouring in. They’re good opportunities. She has taken lots of them just to get some experience.

And now, they keep coming. Every single week.

The price of these opportunities is Bonnie’s time and energy. Her vision for herself is greater than these good opportunities, but she feels torn. She’s at a critical point.

It’s called: Saying NO to the GOOD so you can say YES to the GREAT!

Saying NO to the good means getting clear and committed to your dream and standing by that clarity with your own strong decision. (Yikes!)

Can you relate? It’s easy to continue saying Yes to the good stuff that costs only your time and energy. (Even if it’s the very time and energy you need in order to create the GREAT thing you’ve been talking about forever.) After all, an opportunity is an opportunity, isn’t it? I mean, in these “hard economic times” aren’t you supposed to be grateful for anything you can get?

Well, it depends.

Do you want to live in the “at least I have something” mindset? Or do you want to create the thing that could potentially bring in your most authentic success?

Do you want to Live Reactive? (“This is a good opportunity, even if it’s not exactly where I want to go.”) Or do you want to Live Creative? (“Time to site down and write my outline for this book and put in the time to make it come alive.”)

Either choice is fine, of course.

But only one requires creating your YES by saying a NO.

23 COMMENTS ADD A COMMENT
  • Christine Kane

    Go Leigh! (And maybe just put the full force of your DECISION into the part about the job you ARE passionate about. My believe is that the heavens (God, angels, universe – choose your deity!) get involved when you step in fully — not cuz you wait for them to make it happen! :-))

  • Leigh from 123 blog

    I just sighed a big sigh of relief.

    I needed to read this today.

    I need to move jobs as I’m in a comfort zone, badly paid, etc, etc. And I’ve told myself that this year I will take chances. So a job is advertised in our company newsletter and I can do it – have all the skills – but, BUT I’m not passionate about it. And I interview really well so know I would get it if I went for it.

    Then there’s another job in the pipeline in a couple of months that I’m WILDLY passionate about.

    Your post just made me realise I need to pass up good for great… even though I’m impatient (hopefully God will make that great job come along faster :))

    I’ll come back and tell you when it happens.

  • Michelle

    I just resigned from a job I really enjoyed but the pay and the hours just weren’t adding up – only to get a call the very next morning for a position that pays double and has a better schedule. Almost shocking how quickly the door opened! Felt silly for doubting and feeling so worried about it. Just have to learn to trust the process!

  • Bob

    Reactive living says, “I should be happy with what I have as many are out of work or lack opportunity.” Proactive living says “I am only limited by the size of my dream.”

  • Sue Sullivan

    It’s interesting, Christine, I recently had this experience with your Uplevel Your Business course. I recently intended to take it at the elite level or better. I haven’t started a business yet and wanted the extra help with. Then the opportunity to take Uplevel Your Business as a self-study came up. My fear was that you wouldn’t offer the elite level at time that would work in my schedule. But I knew signing up for the self-study at that time wasn’t right for me.

    I also realized that I had been waiting for the course to come up with money-making ideas for my business. I’ve gone to seminars, read lots, and have watched businesses to see what works, but couldn’t seem to put it together for myself. So I said a prayer asking for ideas, and within 2 days, tons of ideas popped into my mind.

    I’m keeping a binder with all my ideas and implementing everything I can now. I’ll totally be ready when Uplevel Your Business is offered again 🙂 Thanks for encouraging us to have the courage to follow what we know is best for us.

  • Lisa Natoli

    Wow!! I can totally relate. I love this. Thank you. Saying NO to the good so I can say YES to the great. That is brilliant. Thank you.

  • Lorie

    This is awesome! I am so inspired by all the big steps that everyone takes. But what about this? What if a person has, say, 3 Big things that she loves to do and 1 Big thing that she Has to do to pay for the things that she loves? What if she can’t decide amongst the 3 things to find the one where she should shine her spotlight? and she’s over 40 and has a mortgage?

    I am pretty good where I am, not feeling depressed or trapped, just wish there were more time for the “Hell yes” things…

    Anyway, I love this blog, just found it recently when looking to create a vision board. I figured out I don’t have too many magazines that aren’t about horses! and I wasn’t really willing to tear those up!!!

  • Christine Kane

    Wow! I love reading all of these comments of brave people who are making their intentions rule the course of their lives. Jill – you put it great when you said “and not just be chosen.” I think a lot of us think we’re supposed to just wait to be chosen, instead of choosing.

    Thanks everyone!

  • Biz

    Seriously, how do you do it? Are you in my head? It is time for me to make that decision to say NO MORE to doing my coaching at a price that is pretty crazy low (GOOD), and say YES to what my business partner has been telling me all along – that I am GREAT enough to charge more – HA! This really is good “We’re so steeped in our world and all of its assumptions that we think everyone knows what we know. That we’re not all that special.” – you know – how true is that??? People wouldn’t be hiring me NOW if they knew what I know. They will continue to hire me to learn what I know and apply it to their lives. Geesh. How simple is that? Thank you Christine, once again.

  • Leonie

    I really needed to hear this! My current fall-back-on-kinda-fun-not-my-dream job is offering me courses and promitions, but I know my heart isn’t in it. I currently use my spare time to go after my dream job of journalism (and it’s starting to come together), so now is not to the time to get distracted by pretty offers. I’m not a corporate girl, and yes, it is a good opportunity, but it’s not the one that’ll make my heart sing.

  • Jill

    Hi Christine – I’ve been a regular reader of your blog ever since I find it “by accident” (no such thing, I know) a few months ago (and now you have a fan in Denmark). I can really relate to this post. Yesterday, I turned down a good job offer because I want something more than that. I’ve just accepted whatever job opportunities that came my way for the last 5 years: these were all what you’d call good jobs, but I’ve never really enjoyed any of them. It’s scary to turn down an opportunity, but it feels SO empowering to make a deliberate choice – and not just be chosen. The turning point for me came last Friday: I had been to an interview but I wasn’t really excited about the job. As I was tired of settling, I said out loud to myself that I am DESERVE a great job, and that I have great skills that I am grateful for. That same day, two fantastic job opportunities came along, out of nowhere! I guess the universe responded and matched my mental state. Today, I am going to an interview for a job that I’ve been dreaming about for several years. I am so happy that I decided to step into my power and I’m sure that I’ll do well. Thank you so much for all your inspiring posts.

  • Laura

    So true what you wrote. I think the “good vs. great” decisions get easier the more we trust ourselves. Also the more you do it (decline not-great opportunities), the easier it gets. Which brings us to habits….;-)

  • Bes

    Yep. Just said No to a job that was pretty good, but nowhere near great. I got caught up in “well, at least it’s something…” for a little while there, but I’m so relieved that I turned it down. The commute alone would have done me in inside of a month, leaving zero time and energy to go after what I really want. Seeing this post today allowed me to feel even better about the decision, by putting into words the exact reason why I had to walk away. Thanks!

  • rachel

    this is so inspiring, thankyou so much. at the moment i’m really not loving my job, but have been trying to choke down my upset by telling myself i should be grateful to *have* a job.
    i know i just need the courage to dream bigger, to accept it’s not selfish or ungrateful to want more than this.
    right? xx

  • CoachBarrie

    Christine,
    I think we have to say those no’s every day. Our lives are packed with things that must be done or that we want to do. But you can’t be great without focus and discipline. And you can’t be focused and disciplined when you have too many things you want or have to do. You must let the cream rise to the top, and say “No” to everything and everyone else. Distractions, limiting beliefs, guilt, fear, as well as the pull of other interests and dreams, all must be tossed away so you can achieve great.
    Love your beautiful blog!
    Best,
    Barrie

  • Mindful Mimi

    Christine,
    I’m a 7, I looove to say Yes to all the good stuff 🙂 But since the retreat it now comes with a critical look at the stuff. I remember you saying that if it’s not a ‘Hell Yes’ it’s a ‘Hell no’.
    I still do say yes sometimes to things that are not hell yesses, but then there are other good reasons for it or I knew what I was getting myself into. I make conscious choices now 🙂 And I love it.
    Mimi

  • Martha C. Hall

    Wow, perfect post for me right now. I’m just starting to enter this realm and this post will help me. I was recently asked to stand in for a rescheduled speaker so I took the gig. It was presented as an opportunity to practice for an upcoming class I’m going to teach. I was given a small stipend, but not as much as the scheduled speaker would have received. Next week I’m giving a short demo – gratis – that was also talked up as ‘practice’. I’ve quickly realized “Hey, wait a minute, I’m the one doing you a favor!” not vice versa – so when I was asked to give my talk to a different group I was ready to state the (fair) fee to do it. Yes, the opportunities were good and now I’ll be thinking more “greatly” when offered another one!

  • Joy Tanksley

    Oh, such serendipitous timing, Christine! I just said a BIG NO by resigning from a part-time job that was close to my dream but also oh so far away. It feels scary to drop a steady source of income, but I knew that this job was becoming toxic and limiting. Thank you for all you have taught me about taking leaps. I am so excited to watch my dreams unfold.

  • Christine Kane

    Yay Juliana! I can never prove to someone how this process works – but it’s like the universe is waiting for you to take that initiative – and only then does the real stuff happen! You go girl! Way to be brave!

    Thanks Dale Ann!

  • Dale Anne

    WOW! I just finished saying “NO” to one event and am about to send a THANK YOU but NO to another…..since kidney removal surgery in October, I want to prioritize things better for myself.
    GREAT POST – THANK YOU Christine!!!

  • Juliana

    I said ‘no’ to a free gig last week and within a few hours had booked two paying gigs for the following month. It works!