Someone I know is dealing with an abusive client. After a recent violent outburst, this person is panicked. She’s wondering how she could attract anyone so horrible into her business and what she can do to change this energy and create a more positive environment.
Now, I’m a big fan of clear communication, correcting mistakes, and apologizing in situations when you’ve messed up. That’s the first place to start.
And if you’re a reader of this blog, then you know I regularly refer to the Law of Attraction and similar approaches to daily life.
After that, three thoughts come to mind:
The first thought is about Wonder Woman.
It’s oh-so tempting to think that because you’re a “conscious” person, or because you understand Law of Attraction, that you now have to slog through every negative situation in your life in order to figure out how you “attracted it” and how you might “heal from it.”
I call this Superhero Thinking.
We’re certain that we could transform any situation if we could only use our powers of thought in the perfect and right ways.
Sometimes, however, this isn’t the best choice. Often, it makes us stay in bad relationships, draining friendships, and hurtful jobs to prove that we are able to leap tall negativity in a single bound.
It will benefit you, your dog, your children, your friends and the entire planet if you get over this as quickly as possible.
I spent two years talking with business coaches and reading management books trying to change myself so that I could deal with an abusive employee. At first, she was a star in my office. But as time wore on, she became angry and lashed out when she didn’t like the decisions I was making about my music career. It was painful. And I tried hard to make it work because, after all, I knew about these spiritual principles.
Finally, I did the wisest and most conscious thing I could do.
I fired her.
We may think we have super powers and that if we could just get healthy enough then we can transform a negative situation — but sometimes the best answer is to take off the orange cape and mask and simply let go.
The second thought is about fear.
Often, the real issue is not about what we’ve attracted. The real issue is why we won’t let it go. The real issue is that we’re scared. We think we need this client, this employee, this boyfriend, this job, this gig.
We think these external things are the source. The source of our money. The source of our joy. The source of our productivity. So, we become attached to them.
That’s when things get wonky.
We convince ourselves it’s about changing our thoughts and working with the negativity we’ve attracted. But really, it’s about addressing our fear of lack and our misguided attachment to something outside of us.
The third thought is about water-skiing.
When I started water-skiing, I’d get my balance and then immediately lurch forward, slamming face-first onto the lake. Then, in spite of all the water-skiing wisdom anyone had ever offered, I’d hold onto the handle for dear life as the boat dragged me several hundred feet across the lake on my stomach.
Now, the problem was not that I attracted bad experiences as I learned to water ski. The problem wasn’t that the boat was mean to me, or that the lake was evil, forcing me to swallow much of its contents.
The problem was that I wouldn’t let go of the handle.
It’s the same thing in life. Sometimes you have to stop asking how you could possibly attract this and recognize that you’re the one holding onto it.